SHACKLED BY RELIGION- 12 YEARS A .

My name is Panagiotis (Panos) and I come from Greece; a country that gave birth to democracy, philosophy and other scientific and artistic discoveries. It is also a country where almost 99% of the population identifies itself as Orthodox Christian, a Christian denomination that is extremely conservative and fundamentalist to its attitude towards the Bible and ecclesiastical tradition and texts. My spiritual began nearly twelve years ago when, after recovering from cancer, I had a spiritual experience that I have never managed to explain rationally. Of course, spirituality does not necessarily go against science, nor does it validate the existence of God, but merely reveals the depths of human experience; how I wish I’d had this knowledge 12 years ago... Consequently, I interpreted that experience as evidence for the existence of God, and since I was born in Greece, this God was bound to be Jesus.

Immediately, I decided to confess my sins to a priest (mind you, I was only 20 years old), accept the ‘’appropriate’’ repercussions and get on with my spiritual journey; a journey that felt so right and fulfilling. As a fundamentalist I had to adhere to many spiritual rules, such as celibacy before marriage and abstaining from sexual urges, not following certain types of entertainment (theatre, tv etc), omitting certain types of food… the list goes on. Now imagine a man in his early 20’s having to avoid such natural impulses, and for every time that he failed to do so, having to confess his sins to a priest and being denied the right to take the holy communion. Imagine the feeling of self-humiliation and physical strain all these control methods can impose into a young man’s personality. During those 12 years, I was fully committed to celibacy, as the perfect Christian woman to marry was still nowhere to be seen... Year after year, my physical and mental health were most affected and God ‘’answered’’ to my prayers less and less. How could God, whom I loved so much and sacrificed everything for, allow so much suffering in my life? Why did his way (I am the Way, John 14:6) feel more and more like a dead-end?

All this while I was still living in Greece, spending time with like-minded people and therefore my moral values were never challenged, quite the opposite. Because of my young age and religious fundamentalism, I was considered as a paradigm to my brothers in Christ. One of my core beliefs was that there is only one church, and outside of that everyone would go to hell (according to Apostle Paul) and this belief never felt problematic as in Greece nearly everyone is baptised. When I moved to England and away from Greek Orthodoxy, this very doctrine challenged my morality constantly. Here, I was living among people who had never heard of Orthodoxy before, let alone be a member of it. So, how could I feel equal and a brother towards my peers when I knew they were going to burn in hell and I was probably going to be saved? This belief led me to feel arrogant, egotistic and superior and because this is not like me, I started to suffer a lot. Another new situation for me was that I could finally see people who were not religious (as the most people in the UK are) and be perfectly normal and happy, including my transgender manager who helped me so much with my first job. Needless to say that for a Greek Orthodox Christian, being among people that identified as atheists, transgender and gay felt like I was living in Sodom and Gomorrah; however why did living in such a society feel so liberating and noteworthy?

My ended when I decided to read a book written by the famous anarchist philosopher and activist Mikhail Bakunin. God and the State was a book that emancipated my thought to an extent that I still have not fully grasped as it made me realise that (physical and mental) is a synonym to Christianity, and that religion was, is and will always be used by the State to enslave its objects. It has also made me realise that freedom of thought is a risk worth taking, as it liberates us from all types of misconception. After finishing God and the State, I also started reading The God Delusion, God is not Great, The end of Faith and several other books about the theory of evolution. Two months later, I opened myself to another humanist that was meant to be my partner for life, distanced myself from my religious community, embraced the LGBT movement, started feeling equal to all other people regardless of their personal beliefs and finally, met lots of like-minded people. This is the power of science. This is the power of rationality and humanism!