My 12 year old for some reason has decided she is a Muslim now. We are being respectful of her while she figures stuff out. It doesn't seem to be spiritual.. she doesn't talk about that part. Doesnt seem to care.. mostly about the hijab and no pork?.. It seems like mabey an anti Cristian or anti racist Trump supporter thing on some level. And a control thing against me and her sister who are atheists?.. looking for rules and a community. Although we don't even know any muslim people. It's out of no where and we aren't sure quite how to deal with it. It seems like she liked the look of the hijab with her new eye makeup. Then her sister flipped out and said it was cultural appropriation and she couldn't wear it. So here we are 2 months later and she's a Muslim now sp she can.. She seems to be getting all the rules from this lady on Tik tok called Ninja Mommy. I follow her now.
It is scary though because she is wearing the full hijab and nikab in public out here in rural Michigan. We keep an eye on her in the grocery store. There have not been any direct confrontations but lots of looks and more than once it seemed like some grown man was trying to step up and intimidate her subtly until I or her sister gave them a mean look and got in between. Its something I never saw happen to them before even though they are latinx and often the only people of color in that same store.
I do not like this "Ninja Mommy" or religious people in general who make dumb ass rules and have my beautiful kid convinced she can't show her face and I really really hate bigots
Simple make her live under Sharia law!!!
The Islamist when they recruit always leave out that women under sharia law are underlings and have no voice except to serve males exclusively!!!
Tell her she has can not have dogs because they are evil and they must be killed!!!
Tell her that her family can be killed for not being lslamic! !!!
while those are the more radical aspects, i kinda like the intent. But seems to me even allowing her to immerse herself in their restrictive culture would do the trick prolly? As @Wildgreens suggests, ask her when she gonna get fgm maybe?
Im actually much more concerned about the danger she could be in by racists than her ending up actually being a Muslim. Not all of them are radicals.
Part of it does seem to be about spiting the Trump supporters. At least thats how it seems to have started. That makes me proud but it does conern me because she gets some seriously scary looks when out. I usually have her do part of the shopping for me at Meijer and send her off on her own to find stuff. Builds independence, life skills and what not. Im scared to do that now. We've only been out a few times and there have been situation where men would seem to follow her or act menacingly all the times.
Oh boy you have your hands full with that one sister. I raised my younger sister for 5 years at one point. I had her in private schools, and she would flip flop between the Catholic & the Baptist. She finally made up her mind and stayed at the Baptism school. As an atheist I didnāt interfere with her choices of religion. She was just a young teen trying to explore her own religious options. My job was to be the caring and supportive sister. I didnāt judge or belittle her or tell her that she was wrong. I figured that it would just run its course. I allowed my sister to go to the masque with a friend. She went for about 3 months. Then I asked her one question. How do you feel about FGM? At 15 she didnāt know what I was talking about. I explained that becoming a muslim is part of your genitals being mutilated. I said no Allah itās going to save you from that. Her eyes got huge, and was disgusted by the idea of that being done to anyone! She is grown now and she came to her senses.
Yeah thatās the part that they donāt warn people about if they convert, and itās āsupposedā to be illegal here in the US but itās still happening.
Maybe you could ask her the same question.
It sure as hell snapped my sister out of it.
As far as the FGM thing goes she would probably fall on the side of not agreeing with that practice. Which wouldn't mean denouncing Islam since not all Muslims pracice it and iui t isn't in the Koran. Shese already talked about some things that different Muslims disagree on and where she falls on them.
I will find a way to work FGM into a conversation though. Im gonna do some thinking and try to find the most effictive way to put it out there.
Kids that age always find something to rebel about and the more it upsets their parents and attracts attention to them the more they like it.
When reality hits home and it gets boring, especially when she finds how much sexism there is in involved in her being a female Muslim, she will kick the whole thing in to touch over night and decide she is a goth or an emo or something else instead.
Fingers crossed
Yes thats my thoughts on it. And worst case scenario we have a Muslim in the family.. I secretly was looking forward a little snarkily to seeing how Ramadan goes but apparently kids aren't required to participate
Perhaps encourage her to read the Koran and learn an Islamic language.
The Koran is much like the bible, itās not going to hurt for her to educate herself.
But I would say keep an eye on who sheās talking to, try and keep communications open, learn with her if sheāll let you.
Falling out over it is the worst outcome. Likely she wants some time and attention.
She already had me buy her a Koran. And she switched from learning spanish on Duolingo to Arabic. She's quite determined. I try not to push any way at all because I very much don't want to encourage it but discouraging it doesn't seem right either. Plus she's 12 so alot of the time qhatever I say has the opposite effect.. I have taken a bit more contril over her online usage and follow her accounts and the ones she follows... Im wondering how it will go next week since we are switching back to in person school..
@MsAl yes, that could go either way. Hope she has some good friends. Arabic could lead to some interesting career opportunities too. Wishing you well and hope you can keep your calm when you need it.
My son claimed to be gay from between 10-12 years old.
I told him " You don't even know what sex is !" (of course he does )
Now, @ 13 y.o. he says he isn't gay.....Whatever. He'll figure it out eventually
Her sister was trans for a year about the same age. Now I think shes Bi, Genderfluid but leaning maskuline, female or something like that.
Careful kids tjat age very much do know if theybare queer.
Shes more pissed than anyone over the hijab and all the implications..