What's your take on this? I was recently referred to a Physician's Assistant with specialized knowledge with respect to a condition I have. The appointment was approximately 25 minutes in a very small room with just the two of us being about 1-2 feet apart most of the time, during which he "adjusted himself" 6-8 times. It did not seem like a sexual gesture, it seemed like his underwear had bunched up and was pinched him and he was seeking relief. But if that was the case, the proper thing for him to do was to excuse himself and go somewhere private to deal with the issue. Because he didn't, I was made to feel uncomfortable and expected to pretend that I didn't see what he was doing and here I am still feeling yucky about it several days later. One thing I am undecided about is whether I will tell my male PCP who made the referral.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Wow. I imagine he could have had some type of infection which leaving the room wouldn't have alleviated. But, geez, he should have stayed home if that was the case. I don't have a firm answer for you, although I would want to consider whether you will need to see him again, and whether you wanted to make an official complaint, or just advise your PCP of what happened so he stopped referrals.
Lauren
Level 8
Mar 13, 2021
1
Thanks Lauren. I want to think that he had on new underwear that day so if I went back, it wouldn't happen again. It is supposed to be an ongoing relationship, but I made sure to get a long term plan in place so I wouldn't have to go back for some time. I see my PCP every 3 weeks so we know each other pretty well and I think he would want to know so I'm probably going to tell him.
What bugs me the most is that I know very well that I am expected to overlook things like this as a matter of politeness but I think women have been expected to ignore things like this for far too long already.
@LovinLarge That seems like a sound course of action, and if you're seeing your PCP that often, it's good policy to be as open as possible with him. Perhaps this guy will be completely different the next time you see him. Aside from feeling uncomfortable, I would think it would be distracting from your purpose in being there.
I agree that we're taught to silently tolerate rudeness like that - and even more true is that men have often used that behavior to keep women in line. But I think things are changing, albeit slowly. I think I've raised my girls (and nephews) to be confident enough to speak up about something like that, and I try to do it myself. I've come a long way from the 17-year old girl who obeyed when told to remove her shirt and bra for the unaccompanied doctor so he could check my pulse ... and continued the appointment with me topless.
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