My father, also an atheist, has led a long and privileged life. On Monday, he was declared incapacitated. His Power of Attorney is executed in my favor. He wants to die at home and so it will be.
When I gave directions regarding potential hospice providers, I said "no religious agencies". The Hospice Chaplain called me this morning. I told him that my father was nonreligious. He asked if my father had any anxiety about life after death. Out of surprise, I asked him to repeat the question. When he did, I told him there was no life after death. Then he asked how often I would like him to visit my father. When I told him there would be no such visits, he said I could call him as needed.
When I returned to the US having been raised and educated in Canada, I coined the phrase "the presumption of Christianity" when I faced for the first time how deeply ingrained religion is in American culture and this is an example of what I meant. At least we have the solace of knowing that it is on the decline. Pretty sure my father can still put the Hospice Chaplain in his place should it become necessary.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I hope him a painless passing and you have my condolences.
a solid 10 years back I had some presurgical tasting at a hospital. The input nurse asked me what religion. I said I worship The Sun, she laughed looked at my homemade Ankh and said I like your cross. I said no it is an Ankh" She then got testy and insisted it was a cross, then an Egyption Cross. I then said
"It is an Ankh, it is a revered object older then that guy you think is god, was supposedly nailed to a cross, I am a non believer is that ok?" I then said if I am dead, my wife can call a priest, voodoo priest druid priest what ever. I will be dead I will not care. A few more words then they admitted me. She needed a break after that.
I carved that Ankh from a bone and I knew dam well what it is/was. I did not need a typist to tell me what I wore.
I absolutely feel your pain in dealing with some types, in public. A little respect is all that is wanted. There is a xtian symbol that is a Capital T with a O on top. I do not remember what it is called, but an Ankh is an Ankh.
praytothemilkjug
Level 6
May 1, 2021
1
Thanks for caring and sharing. I am preparing for round 2 with the crematorium now and at this point I think the Hospice Chaplain got off easy.
Keep the Hospice Chaplain away from him. Religion in America is on the decline thanks to people like us. Sorry to hear about your dad's situation but in time we will all be there.
DenoPenno
Level 9
Apr 30, 2021
2
Yes, thank you. If the Chaplain attends without my permission, all hell will break loose and I am just the gal to do it. Death is part of the deal so I don't fear mine or anyone else's.
It is ingrained in this country but not everywhere. When my late partner found she had an inoperable brain tumor we sent out the word she wanted to get visits from people in this community but there should be no tears and no prayers. For a month and a half our house was full of visitors and a food train was even started. No one ever questioned her request (they knew better). We got no calls or visits from any clergy (they also knew better). Here, one has no qualms about about announcing their atheism.
JackPedigo
Level 9
Apr 29, 2021
1
Thanks for sharing and my condolensces. I would have thought that progressive Colorado where I am would not be so religious but it is surprisingly so. I looked up your very attractive location. Why do you suppose our locations differ in this way?
@LovinLarge First off my late partner's son and his partner lived in Colorado Springs. It is a very conservative area but there is a very active gay community. They now live in a suburb of Denver.
Colorado is land locked. It seems many places (states and countries) that are land locked tend to be more conservative. Seas and oceans do influence a place in that there is often trade with other lands and an awareness of other cultures. The San Juan Island county/archipelago (175 named islands) is even more liberal than the rest of the state. There are, 4 ferry served, islands and this makes us dependent on outside help. Also, we are a community built from small farms, tourists and lots of retirees (as I). We have one of the most liberal populations in the state (when the vote was made to allow gay marriage this county led the state in yes votes). Each island has a certain culture and ours is about 'community.' I am a believer of geography and the location of the islands town center often determines the culture. Ours is at a sweet spot. We also have 3 local papers, "The Islands Weekly", the "Sounder" and the "Journal." Here's a link to a recent article in the Sounder. [islandssounder.com]
Oh, BTW ours is the smallest county in the state but has one of the largest shorelines in the country. That can make a difference in one's political view.
@JackPedigo Very interesting, thank you. Nice to meet you, keep up the good work.
I'm sorry to hear that
barjoe
Level 9
Apr 29, 2021
1
Thank you. My biggest concern is that his pain be kept in check and the Hospice Doctor will make housecalls for this purpose. Last week he asked me to research assisted suicide. The rest of the family doesn't like the idea but I will do what I think he would do himself, especially if they pain becomes unbearable.
@LovinLarge Hospice should provide morphine.
@barjoe Thanks, I will learn the ropes over time.
You living with your dad? Atleast he has you to honor his wishes.
xenoview
Level 8
Apr 29, 2021
1
He lives with my son, at least for now. He helped raised my son, even changed his diapers. Now my son will return the favor. The circle of life.
Sorry for your dad's situation, and yours.
It's good he has you to see to his care, and to honor your shared non-belief.
I absolutely agree with you on the whole "presumption of christianity".
It's annoying AF.
KKGator
Level 9
Apr 29, 2021
4
Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
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