Here I am

Pink123 I am an older woman (64) so I guess chivalry may mean something different to me than to you. I see it as a sign of respect.

Chivalry is a dying breed these days. Women take it as a pass. Brush you off or look at you like your a wierdo. Not all good guys are as delightfull in appearance as women want. if you looking for pretty you get what you get. If your looking for nice guys you gotta stop LOOKING and follow your ..... Their leed... Most times the the guy holding the door to the car has only one intention... if somebody gets a little weird trying to impress imagine the effort he stumbling over... learn to apreciate that. not laugh or mock it.. Cheers!

The higher the living costs, the more desperate the situation becomes in the dating scene. It practically takes an orgy of people to make a regular house payment these days; and cars are failure devices that require expensive maintenance. New car payments are insanely expensive, food and gas costs expensive... As a result, people can't figure out how to date without making it a race to a financial contract, and everything is about protecting the sources. Then there's this question... What is a date really? How does dating get one ahead in life over just turning into a sexual kinkster who does whatever he or she feels like, and just lets things happen? Is it really any less risky to hookup than it is to date?

I understand... I am not looking for perfection, just a chivalrous, kind, honest man. I think he may be square dancing, working in his garden, reading, or sitting in a park thinking the same thing about women. I don't know the answer (sorry). Maybe that's why this site seems so appealing to me. ..talking before dating...what a great concept!

We've all been snapped up!
Take my case. I believe my wife needs space - so I let her use the kitchen to do the washing up. (I do the cooking, 'cause I like to eat well.)
I'm not crazy - I know 'cause, like Sheldon, my mother had me tested.
I pay her many compliments - like you did a super job on the ironing yesterday - before I add "so what went wrong today?"
Or, take my wife .... please!!

Joking aside, well brought up, chivalrous men are becoming more and more of a rarity. Perhaps it's the influence of "he-man" movies and similar recent causes, not helped by having an uncouth parent - or even both. or perhaps it's the aftermath of "wanting to fit in with the popular guys" at school
I sympathise with your predicament.

Part of the problem is our wiring. It might be different for you, but here is how it works for me:

My body is wired to be attracted to women I find desirable. My body is not so different than all the other male bodies out there. So there's a good chance that the women I find desirable are also desired by many others. So, right off the bat, a good many women are unavailable, because someone else got there first.

But let's focus on the smaller pool of currently unattached women. Again, there are going to be many others who find her as attractive as I do. As some of the others have undesirable characteristics (mean, rude, aggressive, clingy, etc.), there's a good chance these women have screening filters to weed out these undesirable prospective partners. I can be tagged in one of these filters, and I'm not going to get past "hello".

And hey, I have MY filters, too. So now we have a small subset, of a small subset, and....you see where this is going. Realistic romantic prospects typically are a number between 0 and 2, inclusive.

So, a better approach, is to get to know people in a setting where you're not really looking to "date." Because this by-passes the filters, and lets you get to know people in a non-threatening way. And dates are NOT this settting.

My advice (worth EXACTLY what you paid for it) is to find an idea, a cause, a focus that aligns with what you feel and believe in. Maybe it's white-water rafting, or stamp collecting, or feeding the poor. I don't know-I don't know you. Maybe it's country music, or death metal. Follow your passions, the ones BESIDES romance. The good guys will be there, and you'll know them when you see them.

Tl;dr version:

Stop jumping ahead to the step right before romance. Spend more time in step 2, getting to know people. Everyone wants love in their life. Everyone. Getting along...that's key, and you can find that out in lots of ways that don't imply dating.

I'm amazed at how many "points" I get just for opening a car door for a lady...