Jesus style God is explained by illogical atheist Richard Dawkin's to be a mind virus organism that has it's own cognition capabilities. Speculation if you want to call it that, but I have experience with bipolar, schizophrenia, schitzoeffective and people with seizures.

If "god" is a meme organism with various levels of cognition capabilities then you could very well say that "god" the meme organism is to blame.

Please find some sympathy for your friend. Having a child with "special" needs is an overwhelming challenge whether or not you're a believer. When your child is sick you will grasp at any straws that show promise, and if you're part of the brainwashed crowd then of course god is in control. Yes, I agree, I don't understand how they can accept that god is "challenging" them and their child. The same way I don't understand why their god allows any child to be mistreated. But when they are in the trenches fighting that battle for and with their child is not the time for any challenge to their religious beliefs. Yes, now that I am out in the fresh air of sanity I know that especially the xian belief system is a wacked out delusion to be sure. But now is not the time for your friend to be challenged for her beliefs. She needs every comfort she can find. Trust me, I'm a mom and grammie, there is nothing more daunting than your child's illness. My granddaughter was born the day after xmas, 5 weeks early, and spent several days in the NICU. It was not a good time and she was born out of town so it she was not in a local hospital. (She was healthy, just needed to get over the shock of the early birth, just needed some additional monitoring.) When you have a sick child you need all the support you can get, it's freaking scary. Yes, it is sad, and even nearly criminal how people trust in "god" who arranged all this. All you can do now is support the friend, and if you can't then she needs your silence.