The Many Laws of Life
Misc Jokes
Submitted by Harry Finkelstein
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
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Don't forget Murphys Law.... that bastard
redhog
Level 7
July 1, 2021
2
A lot of people don't know there really was a Murphy -- famed ever since.
[businessinsider.com]
[en.m.wikipedia.org].
A lot of those things are very true. What is happening with me right now is that I am clumsy and seem to drop everything. Not at work, but here at home when I am working on something. What I drop -- screws, fittings, driver bits, etc. falls down and I never get them back. If inside the house it falls to the floor and I cannot find it even if walking around barefoot. Sweeping the floor doesn't help half the time either. It is as if when I am home alone working on something I am jinxed.
DenoPenno
Level 9
July 1, 2021
5
Oh yeah, the dropsies is a real pain, & I do it all the time.
There is a trick to finding that sort of thing. Go out and buy a replacement. The minute you walk back in, you will find what you lost. It works every time for me.
The ninety-ninety rule of project schedules: the first 90% of any project takes the first 90% of the time and the last % takes the other 90%.
deepeddy
Level 4
July 1, 2021
3
Yes!
The law of vanishing tools - use a wrench put it down next to you then reach for it and it'll be gone, you'll look every where and you won't find it, then go and get a new wrench and when you came back behold! The wrench you were looking for is right where you were looking.
MrDragon
Level 7
July 1, 2021
7
I identify with this and it happens to me often, but only working on things at home.
because it crawled under you or is in the frig where you got a drink
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