I have a love/ hate relationship with AA. I used to hit meetings regularly. Then I stopped. I suppose I was too prideful. It's the problem with being smart is, you think you can think your way out of anything. I haven't strung more than 3 weeks of sobriety together in the last 5 years. I'm getting too old for this shit. If I'm not at work, I'm drunk, and I prefer to drink alone. When I meet a sober person, I look at them with what I'm sure is the same sense of confused wonder they look at me with. Both of us thinking, "How do you do it?" Last night from what I can tell, I drank a case of beer, and cleaned my house. I discovered I'd also cleaned my grill, so I guess I'll use that today. I think I might go to a meeting tomorrow, but today... it'll be Charles Bukowski, the grill, and a beer.
Here in the UK the organisations you can be referred to are non-religious.
The ones I went to started with a call for topics members wanted to be discussed. You quickly discover that the alcoholics (and a few drug addicts) are not all dumb people and that a few are intelligent and highly articulate. You also discover that you can't get away with excuses or disimulation because they have been there and know if you are spouting rubbish.
I have not had an alcoholic drink for three weeks now and I do not intend ever to have one again. Yes,I know you will not believe me. I have given up for more than a year at a time in the past and gone back to it. Since I retired two years ago I have gotten through a bottle of vodka a day almost every day and I reached the stage of physical and mental incapacity. The first posts I made on here were made under the influence and in a state of total disregard for what I might say or who I might offend. I had a couple deleted.
It came to a choice - carry on and lose everything including my life or fight back. Yes, I get cravings - bad cravings - but I know where they lead.
@Nurse-Quantros your post strikes far too many chords. It will probably have to get worse before you are forced to make a decision one way or the other.
I have been straight and sober now for 34 yrs. although I enjoyed assorted pharmaceutical from Qualuudes to cocaine, by drug of choice as Scotch.After a black out I went to a treatment center in Atlanta. the first thing I heard that helped me was ' Your not a bad person trying to get good, your are a sick person trying to get well' It was a program designed for impaired physicians and was a 3 month program for laymen like me or 4 for physicians. Many of the basic pricipals of AA or NA were used but no emphasis on the god parts. I have also used SOS at different locations. for me the important parts are not being alone, accepting its a disease, accept you have this disease and cannot us any mood altering drugs.
I dealt with my problems of extremes one on one or I would be dead. your not too intelligent to be dead. being clever enough to know you have a problem and still doing it is called stupid.
why don't you try a secular AA. Drop the religious B.S.
I found this for you Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS)
here's the link for the Rochester NY Chapter: [sos-rochester.org]
Time to heal friend....