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I have a question for the community -- I live in a very 'churchy' town where, because of my job I kept completely quiet about my position on religion before my retirement. Often people will say to me "God bless you" or "I'll pray for you". I'm sure their intentions are kind, but it makes my blood boil. I want to make a snarky response, but don't feel that's appropriate On the other hand, I'd like to think of a way to let them know that using those phrases universally is not helpful or comforting. Has anyone come up with a good solution?

ladyprof70 7 Apr 21
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I don't know if it is because i have D.I.D or not , but I am able to 'tune out' especially over this one; because though it doesn't get to me as much as it seems to get to you; I see the person as hapless and weakened by their incapacity to reach out to others with a different vocabulary and therefore just like a broken record with their own tune and that seems quite sad for them - and I am then the stronger one with less insecurity to carry. Don't know if this is making sense but I always thought that 'passing myself' with someone weaker was the kindest option -

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I smile and say thanks. They do mean well in their mind.

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I smile and say thanks. They do mean well in their mind.

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This is a poblem, I simply ignore it in an impassionate way.

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I just tell people no thanks. I am Atheist. Or it's rude to assume everyone is the same religion as you. I don't have a lot of churchy friends.

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The trouble is they don't stop, they will probably try to convert you because thats what churchy people are doing all the time , because unbelievers threaten them- maybe you can find ht way to bring your blood pressure down I do a childish thing of crossing my fingers behind my back which means in my culture (English) that you are telling a lie and know it but don't want to engage .

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I just tend to let it go. It's only when they start pushing their religion I fire back with full force.

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I live in the Bible belt. Some friends became hostile and unfriendly once they found out I'm an atheist. They stole some of my property and turned another friend against me who in turn stole a camper from me. How Christian, huh? So i just thank people for their blessings and so on. I deal with a lot of customers every day and work every Sunday so I just lay low. lol

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I’d say that it’s unlikely that a short retort from you will be able to break through their accumulated conditioning and accomplish your goal. Heck, their religious greetings don’t persuade you to become religious! What I do is just say, “same to you,” or “”thank you very much.” Needless to say, if there is an opportunity to go deeply into the matter, and you feel inclined to do so, then by all means jump in and do it.

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I find the two terms have different uses. "God bless you" is either a heartfelt thankyou or a religious version of "have a nice day" at the checkout.
"I'll pray for you" is usually passive agressive "you're not goood enough" and merits "Don't do that. I'm apostate which means you'll damn your own soul".
Only once have I had a genuine response of "I'll take that risk. I'm sure God will understand." That person has become a long time friend.

The 'I'll pray for you' is often in the context of medical issues or surgeries I'm going to need

@ladyprof70 Ah, "Thus the case is altered".
Then I'd treat it as any other good wishes. They mean well but suffer a paucity of expression. Which is not uncommon in English, especially when it comes to expressing sympathy.

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They're expecting you to thank them, I would say, "If you must". Throws them off.

I like that one.

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I have no solution. However, when I hear the "I'll pray for you", I just think to myself about how disappointed that person must be waiting for his prayers to be answered. I would hate to live everyday waiting for all the things that I want to fall into my lap. Or for my diabetes to go away because of prayers. Or for rain to come to save the crops, etc.

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Inside every Bless your heart . . .

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Ask ‘which one’, or ‘to what’?

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My response is always "Thank you and I will write a letter to Santa Claus for you. Have a nice day"

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Sorry, folks, I haven't been here long. I guess I should have realized this isn't particularly original. Also, the crack about boiling blood was hyperbole. Lesson learned.

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I have known a lot of Religious People and I have found that the ones who want you to pray for them are the most religious and sincere. To this I will kindly shake my head and think that they are either playing a game with me or are very serious in trying to invoke a response of some sort which didn't work very well. Politicians also tell you lots of false inuendos which you are not as concerned about because lying is the only thing that gets them elected. Take two aspirins and call me in the morning.

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Yeah ...just look them dead in the eyes and start babbling. Just make up sh*t , it will either frighten them or make them thinkl you're one of them.....LOL

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I haven't. I usually say just bless you if someone sneezes...and in cases where people would normally say they will pray. I instead say, "May the force be with you and your doctors." I don't see value in making a point about something said to me with good intention...it is their way of sending good vibes your way. I just use my own version. Just like marry Christmas. We celebrate the secular gift giving version in my family.

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Hmm, I'm trying to think of ways to work in these Bible verses: [biblegateway.com] and [biblegateway.com].

I don't think they are wholly relevant to what these people are saying. They're mostly saying these things as throwaways rather than boasting about their religion.

Not really coming up with anything specific, but maybe you could use them to express your discomfort rather than flat-out saying that their religion is not your religion.

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