A man sees a woman he's attracted to when out shopping. He stops her and tells her that he's interested in her. As a woman, is this acceptable behaviour? Or does it depend on whether you're attracted to him?
7
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42 comments (26 - 42)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I never have met a woman (that evolved into a date or more) shopping. Maybe at the mall arcade or concourse when I was a teenager, but not a grocery or clothing store.
dexman2132
Level 5
Apr 22, 2018
3
That would really depend upon a lot of things. If I'm just shopping and some guy approached me and said he was interested in me I'd probably be creeped out.
If we made eye contact and he smiled and said hi. I'd definitely say hi back. Then if he said something general and non-threatening to make conversation then I'd definitely be flattered.
I'm going to Target tonight and will be making as much eye contact as I can now, LOL.
Marcie1974
Level 8
Apr 23, 2018
2
@topdogcarl I would recommend you actually listen and take to heart what women are telling you. Your approach is going to be perceived as threatening, regardless of how you mean it.
Try to imagine that since childhood, you have been constantly coached on how to avoid being molested. Being told to yell fire instead of rape because people will be more likely to help. Being told to keep your keys between your fingers when walking at night so if someone tries grabbing you, you can do more harm with keys between your knuckles. And should you get molested or raped, fingers are automatically pointed at you asking what were you wearing, were you drinking, Were you walking alone? Because it’s definitely your fault if you get raped. It’s absolutely ingrained in all women’s brains to be constantly vigilant.
Please try to think about that when you approach a woman. It doesn’t matter how harmless you know you are, we have been taught since kindergarten to be wary of men.
@topdogcarl oh goodness, just read your profile, you sir, are all kinds of creepy.
@topdogcarl see calling me honey not once but twice is very condescending and definitely gives the appearance that you do not respect women.
You aren’t listening or taking to heart what I’m saying. Best of luck to you
Maybe if we'd seen each other several times and developed a little bit of a rapport. Say we both go shopping on Saturday morning and kept running into each other. I personally would be much more comfortable. A one off, I'd be totally weirded out, no matter what the approach.
maritime37
Level 5
Apr 23, 2018
2
Kind of creepy I would think? I'm a dude so I don't know, but trying to put myself into a womans place...if a guy I didn't know approached me and said he's interested in me...the first thing I would think is "slave trade much?" Maybe just tell her you think she's very pretty and offer her your phone number...if she calls you then it was meant to be. If she doesn't then it wasn't meant to be (and you're less creepy.) 
Clauddvon
Level 7
Apr 22, 2018
2
It totally depends on how he approaches her. I think it would be fine if he said something like, "excuse me but I couldn't help noticing what....beautiful hair...lovely outfit..... great shoes.... beautiful smile....etc. I for one hate the sexy come ons or cat calls. But you know every woman is different and what pleases one woman will get you a look of sustain from the next.
AmelieMatisse
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
1
I'm going to guess you mean "disdain"? Or a sustained look of complete, unbridled lust?
@ArthurPhillips LOL yes, I guess spell check decided against my desire to use distain. Ah yes it did cause it tried to change it again
It seems so common place now to meet online that when it happens out in public, randomly, it seems creepy. I don't find it creepy and would be honored to think someone wanted to get to know me better.
Alimacbean
Level 7
Apr 22, 2018
2
I went to Walmart last month (which I go there 2 or 3 times a year) and I was in a hurry, knowing the three items I needed, which were at different parts of the store....anyway, I crossed paths with this super cute woman, she was a 10 easy in my book. We caught eyes but I just smiled and kept walking, minutes later in another part of the store we crossed paths again, same response and then again on the way out of the store, I passed her just before the exit. I wanted so badly to stop and just give her my card or something, but I didn't. I thought she might think I was following her or something.
@DrewShourd Did she smile back? If so I’d absolutely suggest saying something lighthearted...maybe even corny. Fancy meeting you again. Are you stalking me? And laugh after. If she replies with something funny, take a chance and say something like, I know this is super awkward but would you be interested in grabbing coffee sometime? Offer to give her your number so she has control over whether further contact is made and doesn’t have to worry about giving out personal information to a stranger. Granted you are giving out your info but I think there are statistically fewer women serial killers.
Maybe that wouldn’t work with everyone. But as a plain looking chubby woman, I would be very flattered. I’m sure pretty women probably get hit on often so maybe it’s annoying for them. But I think so long as you don’t say anything sexual or make assumptions that she’s going to be interested, it’s worth a shot. If nothing else you’ll probably make someone’s day AND you went out on a limb and initiated a conversation. Hopefully next time it’ll be less scary.
i think a lot depends on how you tell her you are attracted to her. for a lot of ladies, if some dude comes up and says something like, hey sexy, nice ass, wanna go on a date? that may come off as rude or inappropriate. if you say hey, you look lovely today, would you like to go out sometime? lots of ladies take that approach better. side note tho, i personally don't have a problem with things like cat-calling. i think it conveys that they arent very creative with their compliments, but in a way, hey baby nice tits is still a compliment. i just smile, wave say thanks, and maybe say nice ass man. and keep on walking.
Byrd
Level 7
Apr 22, 2018
2
I think I would have to ask this man "why"....because I would be genuinely interested in what prompts feelings like that in any human being. Is it simply that she has a certain "look" that appeals to him? Is he picking up some sort of vibe that makes him think she just might be "the one"....It's an interesting question.
Lavergne
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
2
KenG:
Guys are very visual, and we can gauge almost instantly whether we’re attracted to a women just by seeing her. In my experience, women have more requirements than just looks to be attracted to a guy.
Thsts some balls there. Stopping a women and saying hes interested in her. Thats how it started with my wife. But i had a gimmick that helped me. I said part of the program here is to meet 3 new people and talk to them. It was a retreat.
BucketlistBob
Level 8
Apr 23, 2018
1
It depends on the person. I would be flattered if any man stopped me because their interested. That has yet to happen. Albeit, I made a mistake and went to Wal-Mart after the gym, in my spandex. Everyone stared. I saw other gym members there in their clothing too.
Sarahroo29
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
1
I can only speak for myself, but for me it would depend on the approach. As long as it was done in a respectful and non aggressive way, I would be flattered.
hopeformore
Level 2
Apr 24, 2018
0
I agree.
I wouldn't know. It only ever happened to me once in my life and it was on the sidewalk, not in a grocery store. I was too afraid of a homophobic reaction to tell him I wasn't interested because I'm a lesbian, so I made up some story about a boyfriend and the guy went away. I don't know if it's because of my Grumpy Cat neutral face, but people just don't approach me or look at me. They don't catcall, nothing. I have no hashtag me too stories. Yes, I know I should be grateful, and I'm not complaining, but I do wonder why I'm such an outlier.
memorylikeasieve
Level 7
Apr 22, 2018
0
I don't think there's anything wrong with it if you're the President ... apparently. No, I don't think that's wrong, but I'm a white male, so I'm probably wrong.
ArthurPhillips
Level 6
Apr 22, 2018
0
Are you wearing anthing under that raincoat besides Depends?
BufftonBeotch
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
0
Enjoy being online again!
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