I just called and left a pleasant message reminding Santa that I’ve been waiting on him to deliver me a bus full of Russian Hos since 20. I told him that I understand that due to the high demand for Russian Hos by our Republican politicians, that Russian Hos may again be in short supply this year, and I would happily take an Elf on a shelf with a box of Twinkies in lieu of the peeing Hos!?
If anyone else needs to touch base with the jolly fat dude, I attached his number!!!
Years ago I read about a teenager in Phoenix, AZ whose mother asked what he wanted for Christmas -- he joked and listed a bunch of characteristics -- hair color, age, height etc.
His mother called a modeling agency and when he got up Christmas morning, there she was. His gift was a date for the day.
I've never been entirely comfortable with the implicit sexist discrimination but it got his and the women's pictures in the paper. Different times I guess.
Who needs Santa? (or Satan for dyslexic atheists)
I was not aware that Russia made especially high quality gardening tools.