!. When I met my first wife I was lonely and she told me if I didn't marry her in six months I would never see her again and the sex was good.
2. I stayed in the relationship because of our three kids.
3. I read lots of books on dating and potential partners.

I chose the wrong person because I was the wrong person. I was so desperate for someone to love me because I didn't love myself, so I would gravitate to anyone who showed me kindness and attention, and I would get way attached too quickly, very often way more than they did.

I stayed too long because I believed it was my responsibility alone to try to make it work. If I didn't get the response I wanted, I felt I had to try harder to be a better person in their eyes so they'd like me more. I would acquiesce to their needs and wishes at the expense of my own.

The changes I've made, is making sure I can take care of myself. I don't have to fall for someone quickly or just because they're nice to me. I don't have to overextend myself. I can trust the process more. I will only allow myself to get serious with someone who I know has my needs at heart and someone I just enjoy being with without second-guessing.

1. Why do you think you chose the wrong person for yourself?
   I didn't choose the wrong person. I chose long brown hair, blue eyes and even longer legs.
2. Why would you stay so long in a bad relationship?
   Long brown hair, blue eyes and even longer legs.
3. Have you made changes in how you choose dates, potential partners, etc?
   Never let a christian step into an atheist's batter's box, ever. (In fairness, I was only 26...and stupid)

I had been emotionally abused my entire childhood. I'd been told no one would love me. He did. We were young.

I was very much under his control. He made sure I was dependent on him. I wasn't allowed to work. I had no financial independence and 2 small kids. I thought that if I loved him enough, if I could just do enough to make him happy, I could fix whatever it is about him that's broken. I didn't realize what I was going through was abuse. I wasn't being hit. But I began having to put myself between him and our kids. He terrorized our son verbally. I was severely depressed, emotionally exhausted. I felt trapped in a nightmare. Then my sister moved in with us two years ago and that changed my life. Between her and my therapist, I've been able to escape. There are still huge obstacles to overcome. But I'm confident in my ability to take them on.

Right now I'm happy being single and being on my own for a while. I'd like to eventually like to experience what its like to have a partner who can express empathy and has some emotional awareness. I know now that I'm a lovable person. I can be picky and judicious about who I let into my life.

I've got one rule since high school: don't date normans. Always turns bad lol.

1. The first bf ever asked me out when I was 22. I went for it. I figured, no one would ever ask me out again. He was horrible.

2. He was abusive. I was scared. Both exes were.

3. I no longer will date anyone. I'm happy to be single.