What do you call a fly with no legs?

Two sperm whales were way offshore screwing their brains out when a navy research vessel got a little too close and broke them up. The male incensed at the intrusion told the female let’s just fill our blow hole's up with water, rise alongside the ship and blow until we sink the ship and then we'll just swallow those damn sailors whole. The female thought about it for a moment and said… I might be in for the blow job but I ain't swallowing no seamen.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic with a Jehovah’s Witness? Someone who rings your doorbell and shrugs.

What are the 3 words a man most hates to hear?

Woman: Is it in?

Man: Not anymore

A man bought a parrot as a pet. He soon found out that the parrots would curse a blue streak. The man told the parrot, "I am putting you in time out in the freezer for two minutes to cure you of cursing."
After two minutes, he takes the parrot out. The parrot meekly looks at him and asks, "Excuse me, most honorable sir. Would you please tell me exactly what that chicken did?"

What do you call a rabbit with an STD?

Peter Rottentail.