Yes, this happened. Yes, I can't stop laughing. Yes, I'm going to regret it all in the morning.

True Story in Five Verses

A Saturday night in late April
she sat in a dining room chair
partaking in sin
with a glass of white zin,
the scent of the weed in the air.

In touch with the man from agnostic
who’d recently rattled her cage,
who did not seem to care
that she’d gray in her hair
or the discrepancy in their age.

Her location required that they message,
(dead zones not conducive to texting)
And so she decided
(she liked it, why hide it?)
to continue the fine art of sexting.

She explained what it was that she wanted
in terms quite explicit at best.
Thought she had it covered
until she discovered
it went to a chick in the southwest.

You know you should never ask someone
to give you a slap on the ass
if you’re going online
while you’re drinking your wine
and smoking a bit too much grass.