Hello! My name is stupid and I thought I would share

I thought she was absolutely beautiful when I saw her pictures online. She sounded absolutely amazing after I read her profile. Her words tugged on my strings. So I decided to say hi with no expectations. In full knowledge that I am agnostic, she decided that we should be “platonic friends” and meet. I hesitated obviously because why would she want to meet with me? When she asked a second time I gave in with great trepidation. I was all sorts of nervous, anxious, scared worried and at the same time uncharacteristically calm? It was as if I already knew her and we were just meeting again after a long time apart.
When I saw her for the first time in person, as she walked in the door of the restaurant I choose for us, I was literally floored. She was even more beautiful than the pictures by far. As the afternoon went on and beauty faded into conversation I felt stronger about her. As every minute passed, jokes ensued, I felt what I thought was a connection.Yea I know men are stupid.
I had to end the afternoon short because I am introverted and my “battery” for being social was empty. I was probably rude. But I knew I wanted to see her again. I tried (unsuccessfully) to build on that night with her, a total stranger online. AKA I blew it. In my heart I’m trying not to be mad as I knew we weren’t compatible from the start. She is a Christian woman looking for a Christian man. I know I was stupid for going out with her in the first place. But she has made an impression on me like no other. I’m not sure if I’m better or worse afterwards. But I decided to share regardless. Because my name is stupid. And I thought I would share