How do I stop a colleague from imposing her religious views without offending her? I am very capable of being direct and blunt, but even though the majority of the colleagues is non-religious, they would still not take kindly to me telling this person off in a confrontational manner.
I think we could better answer this if you would explain the ways in which she imposes her religious views.
I had a problem with a religious supervisor who thought she had the right to make me listen to christian music at work. When I mentioned to her that I found religion in the workplace to be unprofessional, I got loaded down with a lot of work that others with my same job title did not have to. Finally had to take it up with equal opportunity. After that, her radio was removed and she was banned from talking to me or about me on the property.
I worked with religious people and chose not to alienate myself from them so I let them impose their religious views . Who the hell cares what they believe as long as I don’t believe in it .
We all should care. Our laws and policies are sculpted by those with said religious beliefs. We pander to the religiously indoctrinated. Moreover, innovation is stifled by bible thumpers who believe they have a personal relationship with whatever invisible being they follow who is telling them what to do. This isn't new, so we've come to accept the status quo. But we're going to have to change our mindset at some point.
I always just say "I respect your religion, please respect mine"
A professional setting is not the place for preaching.
Here's my standard response..."I never, EVER discuss religion. Let's talk about your (new haircut, those Raiders, anything else....)"
Humor. A touch of sarcasm. Those seem to work. I used to carpool with a hyper-fundamentalist who was always trying to convert us by talking about religious music. So my friend and I made up a game. I'd say, "Hey, Chris, the Devil stopped by and asked me to review this CD. I listened to it, and it wasn't bad, but I have the feeling he had high hopes for them." And then the two of us would pretend to review the CD so as not to offend the devil.
People ask me if I believe in God, and my first response is, "God who?"
If they persist, I'll say, "Well, it depends on how high I am."
People ask me if I've accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior, and I tell them, "Sorry, but I'm already seeing a savior. Granted he doesn't have the abs, but you have no idea what he can do with those extra hands."
People ask me if I know Jesus, and I say, "Of course, I'm dating his dad."
People ask me if I've experienced Jesus, and I say, "Once, at a party at Dionysus house. We thought we lost him, but he was passed out under the coffee table.
Christian: Jesus loves you.
Ben: Then why the hell would he put someone like you in my life.
Christian: God sent me to you.
Ben: That makes sense, God always did have it out for me.
No matter how you approach this you run the risk of offending the religious person. All you can do is come at it from a place of decency and kindness. What they feel as a result will be their perception and you cannot control nor be truly held accountable for it.
Just take them to one side and explain that you are not religious. it's as simple as that.
Tell your colleague you are really interested in religion and then show her this video:
A human who is un-self-aware enough to burden you with unwelcome interactions places him/herself in the same category as any other animal who can’t speak human language, so I deal with them the same way: when they do something I don’t enjoy, I do something they don’t enjoy... like dominating the conversation with endless details about some subject I know a bit about, and not give them space to get a word in edgewise. On all other occasions treat them as you would anyone else. It’s remarkable how quickly they make the association and stop putting themselves in the path of that treatment. No confrontation discernible by observers. Try it. It really works! They never consciously realize what you’ve done, they just get bored and leave.
Why are some non believers so overly sensitive,touchy,and defensive when believers express their views on religion. I could care less and take their views with a grain of salt, because I am not threatened by other people’s fairytales.
Good answer.I agree totally
It's because we've been taught that we should blindly respect other people's views. "Everyone's entitled to their opinion." What we overlook is that those views help sculpt policy that the rest of us have to follow. So I disagree with the notion that their fairytales don't affect us. But I do believe we need to quit hiding in the shadows. If someone says something silly, don't be afraid to tell them that. Just do it respectfully or they'll certainly ignore you.
I remind people sometimes I'm a grown ass man and don't believe in magic.
Say "Please, Spare me your sorceries. I don't have time for sorceries."
Start having active forcefull discussions about Hinduism.
Today, at the supermarket, a person who overheard me speaking in Spanish, placed on top of my bags about 20 little prayer cards. I picked all the little cards and I said to her, in English and in Spanish, "These belong in the garbage." and proceeded to trow them in the garbage can after ripping them into small pieces.
This intrusive person started to point her finger at me...which earned her a laud "Keep your finger in your a... or I will call the police for harassment." She left in a piff
In a work setting I just say that I do not wish to discuss religion or politics at work; rather, keep things on a professional / respectful basis. If she forgets, remind her, but be sure to follow through and refuse to take the bait.
This is just a matter of fact personal policy and needn't be said in a confrontational way.
That doesn't mean she won't find a way to be offended, but that is her problem. If you consistently treat her with kindness she'll eventually come around unless she's a TOTAL asshat.