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7 19

Kindness comes in many forms. Sometimes simply listening and showing interest is all it takes. I'll relate a simple story from daily life.

I was at my local Walgreens. I was standing quietly in line. I could feel the nervous energy from the guy in front of me. He was smallish sized, late 30's early 40's, white, not much hair, glasses, dressed nicely (a little above average for the area) and wearing a fairly heavy coat for the weather we were having which was around upper sixties in the evening. He seemed harmless. The cashier's energy was low and uninterested and no smiles. It was quiet in the store. The customer at the register was taking quite a long time. The customer behind me was a young lady with a phone stuck to her face. Her energy said stay away from me. I was simply standing quietly and taking it all in.

The younger gentleman looked at me and said "Hi". I responded with a friendly smile "Hi, how are you?" He began to light up. He was the next customer up to the cashier. He proceeded to comment on the good weather. I agreed. He then nervously begins to tell me of a faster than light engine principle. He cites Scientific American. I listen although not intently. I ask him a couple questions and find out 1) he tries to strike up conversations in public to bring light to this technology, 2) the magazine article is from several years ago and 3) that it's all figured out except how to slow down and stop. I wasn't particularly interested but he seemed very excited to tell me about it and I didn't have anywhere to go or do since I was standing in line so happily engaged in conversation with him.

He's up at the cashier now. I stand quietly. He finishes up and gives me a great big smile and says "you have a great night, sir" I said whatever I said expressing a positive sentiment. I get to the cashier and her mood and energy has completely changed. She's now smiling and happy. The woman behind me wasn't on the phone and I got nothing negative from her any longer.

The point of the story is that simple acts of kindness have long reaching ripple effects. The next time you're standing in line somewhere and it's your turn to go, let whoever is in behind you go next instead. Observe the moods of those around you changing. Observe how the line speeds up. Realize your kindness just changed people's mood. Realize those people will change other people's mood. Realize you have far more power over this world than you give yourself credit for. Embrace your power, use it, create real positive change in the world with little to no effort. I did little more than smile, say hello and listen to maybe 30 seconds of conversation from a stranger. I left knowing I had made the world a better place just by being present in the moment and listening. Anyone can do this at any time.

FvckY0u 8 May 19
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7 comments

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3

Few people take the time or effort to put themselves in the shoes of checkout clerks in supermarkets. Nowadays you are supposed to be your own checkout clerk using the till register. However consider the role - you have to stand all day mindlessly passing barcodes over a reader, if it doesn't register repass until it does or manually enter the numbers, check that the shopper has not secreted goods in their bag to steal, put up with shopper abuse or lack of recognition, obey the commands of everyone other than your fellow checkout clerks, receive correct payment for goods supplied & make correct change, bag the goods bought, and finally be polite when you have period headache, back ache from standing so long, sore feet or even carpal tunnel pain. . . So spare a thought for the checkout person & recognise them as an individual & ask them "how are you after standing for 6 hours\ facing another x number of hours in your shift\ enduring the cold\hot wind blowing on you every time the entrance door opens or simply what do you think of the earthquake in Turkey? You may also be uplifted by the wonderful smile & real response that you receive in return! . . . There again if you live in an area of xenophobic inoctrinated religious idiots as I do they will probably accuse you of sexual harassment!

@FvckY0u I will never forget a heavilly tatooed but conservatively dressed 35-40 yo female clerk who after many pleasant exchanges suddenly said to me "I was only talking about you to my mate in another supermarket in another town & she responded to what I told her with "I wish I had a customer like that come through my checkout & make my day. I only get arseholes, miserable shitty ones at that!"

3

You are a very good writer. Your description of this simple, ordinary event is better than some fiction writers I've come across. Thanks for sharing about ordinary life in an inspiring way. I honestly am aware of these kinds of things, once in a while in my everyday travels, but, to be honest, I usually just observe them quietly and make no effort to engage with strangers in situations like that. Call me a snob, but I just realized long ago, that I am such a fish out of water around the vast majority of people in my local area, that it's not worth engaging with them at all, if I can help it. It's not worth the friction and conflict that often come out of it.

@FvckY0u I guess I'm one of those walking contradictions, Darren, same as you. A guy with the username you have, and yet you have a good heart too..

@FvckY0u I guess I am some of that too, a dedicated non-conformist, I suppose, ever since I hit my 20s. The difference for me, between then and now, is that I embrace my non-conformity, rather than feeling shy or embarrassed about it. I guess getting older, and esp. becoming a senior, makes it easier to no longer give a shit about being popular, accepted, or even seen as "normal" by most people. Because what anyone outside of my friends and partner think of me these days, really doesn't matter at all to me. Because I don't depend on or need those people at all. All I need from them is to be left alone and not hassled. So nice to be financially independent, retired, and not need a goddamned thing from anyone outside my circle, in order to get by and enjoy life...So much better than the years of working, struggling to get by, and having to worry about fitting in and getting along with co-workers, bosses, or even the church I am mostly passively involved in. I have even gotten to where I realize that I don't even need them that much anymore, and in fact, they need me these days, esp. my money, more than I need them, lol.. Talking about those Unitarians again, of course..

@FvckY0u Whatever that is. You are speaking a bit over my head, I think, as far as philosophy, but I will take it as a compliment, lol..

4

I make an effort to say something reasonably nice to people when in public.
Sometimes, it's as innocuous as saying, "nice shirt", or "love your hair", or "great outfit". It usually elicits a smile, and I always feel like maybe I just helped make someone's day a little better.

5

It takes very little effort to be kind.

Betty Level 8 May 19, 2023

@FvckY0u That is a given. Too many go out of their way to be cruel, nasty, and just plain mean to spoil someone's day. A smile, kind word, or acknowledgment requires little to no effort and can change the course of someone's day in a positive way.

@FvckY0u I agree, plus there is beauty in a smile. 🙂

@FvckY0u I recall reading that it takes more calories to frown than it does to smile.

@FvckY0u, @Betty lol. That is why for 40 years I've worn a curly mustache that gives the impression that I'm smiling not scowling.

2

That is a fairly harmless conspiracy theory, at least.

6

Those are the kinds of conversations that I crave. I hate small talk and hearing about whatever so and so did last week. Give me ideas, make my mind work.

Like you said, it's about kindness, so I still try to listen to the small talk. Damn, is it boring, though. 😅

I hate small talk too, and find it really boring. Same with most strangers around where I live. That's why I usually just leave them alone, not worth the boredom or conflict, either one, that usually result from engaging people around here, whether it's because they are less intelligent, less educated, or just way more religious or politically conservative...

7

Great point.
Btw, a "medium" on YT claimed if Hitler had been stopped, a Jew who died in the gas chambers would've discovered anti-gravity, thus removing the main obstacle to unlimited intrastellar travel..
For what it's worth.

I know. The son I always wanted was not a good swimmer and was left behind. He was later expelled entirely during a monthly cleaning cycle. Poor boy.

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