That is why, even as a lifelong Iowan, I have always hated and rejected the bullshit social norm here of Iowa NIce, which is an easy way for gutless phonies to avoid ever doing conflict, telling the hard truth to others, etc., all in the name of keeping the peace at any price, and never dealing with the rot of problems festering under the facade of phony politeness and fake friendliness. And this norm, unfortunately, is even widely practiced in the Unitarian churches here, even tho almost all of their members are non believers like us, yet they still conform to the local culture of non conflict at any price..