first baby? Ask them. They may appreciate it more if you stayed awhile after your trip when all the excitement is over and the mundane begins to settle in.

All I can share is my own experience... I took 3 months off and traveled to be with my daughter, her husband and first born, since she had a difficult pregnancy and I figured she would need some help and support after giving birth.

In reality, once the baby was born (prematurely) and came home with them, she didn't really want anyone else around. She just wanted to bond with her baby and learn as she went along. I think she also was suffering from postpartum depression, but she very much wanted to be left alone, not accepting the help I was there to offer.

Feeling banished by her wish to begin her parenthood on her own, I went to live with my son (Surprise! Mom's coming to live with you for a couple months!) until my daughter wanted me to come babysit while she had some appointments. Then I actually got to stay with the new family for my last couple of weeks, but they really didn't "need" me to be there.

I, however, cherished those days of bonding with my grandson, selfish as it might have been, as the need to be near him was so strong and life affirming and of course I was smitten with this little one who gazed at me so adoringly!

Of course he wouldn't remember those moments, but hopefully something of my scent, love, protection was imprinted on him somehow. Months later, my visits were more welcomed, as that was when the parents needed some breaks and wanted some "date nights" and time away from the routine, as well as sharing the great routine they developed.

My son-in-law actually looked forward to my visits, as it gave him a break as well and knew the baby was in good/loving hands. (Big ego booster for me!)

All that said... My advice to you is to welcome the little one when it comes in September and go ahead and take your trip. Sometimes new parents like to figure out their routine and decide the way they will raise the baby without interference.

Then, when you do show up again, follow the guidelines they have established, whether they are what you would have done in the old days or not. Grandparents are just extra support and that love and support is welcomed with open arms within those guidelines.

You have plenty of time to be involved with the baby's life, once he's on track with how the parents have decided to raise the sweetheart.

Do the thing that brings you the most joy.

Is there any other time earlier that you could do the trip? Or maybe shorten the October trip or shift it to late October?