Wish I could post something like that on my website... No matter how many times I tell my clients that I perform secular events only (meaning non-religious - yes I spell that out) and even have them check a box on my contract saying they understand their wedding or funeral ceremony will not be a religious worship service, they still don't get it.

My last couple (Saturday night) agreed to a secular service, and then sent me 5 (count em five) bible passages to include in their wedding ceremony. When I reminded them that's not what I do, they said, well just do the best you can, as if they were willing to have me stumble through their bible verses. It's not that I can't read them eloquently, but that it's simply not not what I do. I paraphrased what they asked me to read, and they were happy with what I wrote -- but still it really rankled me that they were asking me to compromise on my strongly held feelings about religion, like it's no big deal, when there are so many other officiants who would gladly quote the bible.

I built my business to cater to clients who want a guarantee that there will be no religious references. It's in my contract. I even tell prospective clients that if my services are not what they are seeking, to please keep scrolling. They still come back to me. Go figure.