Clown and death..

Quora Question: Atheists, your five year old daughter is on her deathbed and asks, "Will I go to heaven when I die?" How do you reply?

This was a great Quora Q&A. So I thought it to be very relevant on agnostic. If you can, please go to the link and upvote the answerer.

Cecelia Smith's Answer: Let me take this out of your hypothetical nonsense, and make it real. During the 1990’s I was a professional clown. I did birthday parties, wedding receptions, school shows, store promotions, holiday parties, company picnics - you name it, Violet P. Lavender was there. I even had several client families, where I would come celebrate the same child’s birthday three or four years in a row.

In one of those client families, there was an adorable little girl (I’ll call her Emily for this story). I met her at a cousin’s birthday party, and then was at her 4th birthday. I was happy to be at her 5th birthday as well. Because she lived in an area where Violet was very popular, Emily saw Violet four or five times during the year, in addition to her own birthday. That particular cluster of families really kept me on my toes, because I had to constantly rework my show, since all the kids saw me so often!

One day, I got a call asking me to come visit Emily, it was months too early for her 6th birthday - and to please come to the Children’s Hospital. I had a habit of visiting the hospital whenever I had free time between shows. This was the first time I was asked to come for a specific child.

When Violet arrived, Emily had been put into a private room. I was met in the hall, and warned that she was very weak and was quite fragile. They told me she did not know she was dying.

So, into that antiseptic, mostly white room filled with machines sailed Violet P Lavender. A totally Purple Person, with balloons and magic and fun! Emily smiled and clapped and used her precious energy to laugh. Only two visitors were allowed in the room at a time, so it was just me, Emily and one of her parents, with everyone else watching through the glass wall.

I stayed for only about 20 minutes. While I was saying goodbye, she took my hand and asked the hardest question… “Violet, will I ever see you again?”

I did what anyone in that position would do - I lied. I smiled at her and said “Of course you will! I’m going to be at your 6th Birthday Party!” That beautiful child shook her head sadly and gently told me, “Violet, I’m sorry. I’m not going to have any more birthday parties. I meant, will I see you again, in heaven?”

So much for her not knowing! Her mother bolted from the room, leaving me ‘alone’ to face that horrible truth with her.

So what does the atheist in a clown suit say to a child who wants to talk about heaven, as she lay dying?

I asked her “What do you think heaven is like?” She didn’t know, but she was scared that she would be all alone “up there” in a big house, with no one to talk to ever again.

Now, why would she think that? It seems some well meaning idiot had told her that God had prepared a Mansion just for her, in Heaven, and that she would be going there soon. And a Mansion was described to her as “a big house” … just for her! She was scared by the idea, and she did not want to go, but she couldn’t ask her mommy or daddy about it because (and she whispered this) “they don’t know I’m dying.”

So I laughed and told Emily that of COURSE she was not going to be alone! Her house was going to be on a street with lots of other kids, and right next to her street is the street where all the CLOWNS LIVE! And right past that is a big park where all the puppies and kittens play! (That made her smile.)

“Will you be there too, Violet?” Stubborn child! She wasn’t going to let it go! I told her I wouldn’t be there for a long time, but I had friends there, and she could tell them she knows me. Also, in her house there is a magic TV that she can use to watch over her friends and family who are still alive, while she is waiting for us to all join her. So she could watch me and her Mom and Dad and anybody else she wanted, any time she felt like!

She was relieved. She said she wasn’t scared anymore. Then reminded me not to say anything to her parents, because they are already so worried about her being sick, she didn’t want them to get sad about her dying.

I made it out of the room and into a nurse’s station before I started crying.

Violet did attend her next ‘party’ … I made sure her parents were ok with it, and Violet came to the funeral with a huge bunch of bright balloons, to say goodbye.

So the answer to your silly hypothetical question is - in REAL LIFE, you tell that child whatever you can so that they are not afraid and give them comfort.

ANY OTHER ANSWER regardless of your personal belief in an invisible guy building fancy houses in the sky is wrong.

The emotional well being of a dying child is more important than any religious or philosophical argument you could make.

My Answer: The fear of death is real,but it comes from a possessive attitude towards life- the fact tha you don't want to leave life. More like you are forced to leave life through your death. I guess survival is the utmost goal of a living being. So, the thought of non-existence is an impossible concept to reconcile. And there's no satisfactory answer known to mankind either. You only experienced that you existed. That’s all you know of and you want to continue living just like you don't want to lose any previous things that you deeply love during your living period too. The experience of not existing, ceasing to breathe and the certainty of not knowing any answer to that inevitability terrifies you. But do we really need to cling so hard to our existence? It can be paradoxical. Why can't we embrace death like it is? Death is just the ending. Why is an ending need to be sorrowful or depressing? In certain societies they celebrate death. Heroes of the past, warriors of our ancient history- for them death was glorified. But I guess we changed our outlook towards death. We think suicide to be cowardice. We put the highest value to a living situation. It is complicated! I guess because most of the death comes through pain and suffering and ageing, we associate death negatively in our psyche. But should we really need to? As we know time is an unidirectional path, and we can not avoid accepting our destiny through time. So, acceptance of death may be something that our culture doesn't prepare us for. Now for a child, the fear she gets is because she doesn't know how it will be to live with her mom, or her dolls. So, love is what that make us fear death, fear losing! I guess it's hard to answer. I am not claiming to know answers to all these, but one thing I know for sure is that God and Heaven and Hell are not good answers either. But I'd probably lie to that little child like Cecilia-the clown in his/her answer mentioned too. I don't know!

What's your answer, mates?

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