I am moving through deconstruction and have hit the "I am very angry stage" as I think about all of the years and all of the mis-truths that were told to me and my friends to "keep us in line" under the power of fear and threat of hell. I find myself literally screaming at those people and at the ridiculous beliefs that I accepted as a kid and passed along to my children (2 of the 3 rejected it before I did). What angers my most is not the theology stuff but the applications of "staying clean and separate from the world" AKA .... no movies, no dancing (including my high school prom), no drinking, no roller skating, no mixed swimming, no rock music, no associating with "sinners," no reading "banned" books, no, no, no EVERYTHING! All of this was done to please an angry god. Everything was a continual thinking of myself as a "worm" and worthy of "burning alive" forever. Good riddance to all this shit forever!
You are not the Lone Ranger. Don't wallow in your past. Celebrate life and your new found freedom.