Don't forget to thank your mother for expelling you from her vagina today #HappyMothersDay
9
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17 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.That's about how I feel about it. Awesome post
ashortbeauty
Level 8
May 13, 2018
1
Want to help me dig her up so she can hear me better?
?
indirect76
Level 7
May 13, 2018
0
I'm adopted and have never met my birth mom, so no personal thanks will be extended today for that particular endeavor on her part.
Apparently, my biological father was an Air Force pilot who knocked up an opera singer. Given those genes, I have to wonder how I turned out so goddamn fat, ugly and dumb. I did get the singing voice from my biological mom though. So there's that.
Alzheimers took my adopted mom from this mortal coil three years ago, so I'll just go ahead and wish all of you out there who are mothers a Happy Mothers Day in her stead.
webbew1
Level 7
May 13, 2018
2
vita:
You're too well-written to be dumb ... unless you are literally without a voice. You're no uglier than most of us. (I have a long nose with a hook in it, but look okay in pictures taken from the right angle.) And you're not even remotely close to being "Walmart fat." Hell, you're not even "average American fat." The singing voice is a definite plus.
I'm sorry about both of your mothers; the real one who raised and loved you and the biological one who wasn't prepared to be a mom.
My mother can be a pain-in-the-ass, but I know I'm lucky to have her. She'll definitely get a call today.
So you sing all the notes ??
If it goes as usual, I’ll check in with Mom in a few days (actually talked a day ago), and she might mention (as she has in the past), “Your sisters’ did what they do for ‘mother’s day,” “So now I’ll thank you and [your brother] for ignoring it!”
Varn
Level 8
May 13, 2018
1
vita:
Shock the shit out of her and call her today.
Birth weight 10 lbs. 2 oz. - I already sent 3 dozen tulips (her favourite) and we spoke on the phone yesterday for an hour. Anyone woman who can push out the equivalent of a sack of potatoes deserves my gratitude, not to mention all the good things she taught me in life. Happy Mother's Day to all.
Surfpirate
Level 9
May 13, 2018
3
I can't. My mom is on vacation at a beach somewhere in Mexico
ghost_warlock
Level 7
May 13, 2018
2
I prefer "Happy Hallmark Profits from made up Celebration Day!"
Jontom2017
Level 5
May 13, 2018
5
What if I am adopted?
Gnarloc
Level 7
May 13, 2018
4
Touché
To spit out a kid is the easy part.... To educate him / her is what makes a mother out of a female.
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