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It is very difficult to conduct an adult conversation on politics or social controversies, even on this site, where I had hoped for better things. I am feeling more and more despondent about this. Does anybody else feel overwhelmed by a plague of true believers in one cause or another who are incapable of debating its merits in a fair-minded way?

Hellbent 7 May 15
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43 comments

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2

Most political and social conservatives have forgotten what the term "civility" means-- if they ever knew.

16

I have never been as worried, sickened, disgusted, and discouraged as I am since Trump was elected. Every day brings a new low. I know so many people who voted for him, who I have always thought of as thinking, educated, and had some common sense, but, I can't believe that they are caught up by a maniac leading a cult that only exists to get him adoration and power. I am not saying republican vs democrat. Trump is neither. He is a Trumpist who sucks up to anyone who will give him the required toadying and worship him. That is his only agenda. He is an empty shell and has no moral compass. I have never had any of this worry and loathing for any other Republican, even though I disagree with their agenda. They seemed to have had some moral compass, some intelligence, and wanted to serve the United States. So, I will never make nice or respect Trump. He doesn't deserve it or has not earned it. He has earned disgust, and that is what he will get from me. If we don't stand up against this evil, our country will fall. It doesn't matter what political party you are aligned with. He is dangerous.

This is exactly how I feel. I thought George W. Bush was a terrible president, but a good human. I would've stood up if he'd entered the room. I would've shaken his hand if he offered it. Not so with Donald Trump. He's loathsome. I actually hate him. And that's really saying something for me.

@vita Ditto to both you ladies. These sentiments are mine exactly. I've never been more disgusted to "be an American" in all my years. I don't care which party is running our country as long as they are decent human beings trying to do what they consider best for our nation. Never before have we seen such a loathsome individual in this top spot (or any spot for that matter) and it speaks volumes to where we are as a country, unfortunately. Instead of forging forward, he will set us back decades, or worse.

14

Honestly, I get a lot of out good, honest debate. I live in a sea of red with gun toting, Christian cowboys and ranchers. Some of them are some of the best people I know...and we have had some amazing talks and debates. I still respect them, they respect me...but you can't have that when you start out by saying "those prople" or "libtards" or "Trumpanzees." If you have no respect for people going into a debate, it isn't going to go well...

Yes but Evangelical Christians are more like a cult. Kicking people out of the country, deporting the children is very mean spirited, separating families is wrong..Jesus would never agree to this

@vnufall There are extremes to and of everything. I don't waste my time or breath to a lot of people, particularly aggressive ones. There is no winning, no compromise, no finding common ground.

@Beach_slim Jesus is real to evangelical Christians. They make it up as they go along..kind of religion.

10

There is no grey area with me. If you are a Trump supporter, then you are also a supporter of sexual assault and sexual deviance. Since the Bus crap that he spewed, I've been disgusted by him and anyone that associates themselves with him. If you support Trump, then you, by association and support of him, support the bigotry, sexual deviancy, hypocrisy, misogyny, narcissism, homophobia, incompetence, lying, filth, idiocy, racism that he belies. There is no middle ground. If you like Trump, then you are also all of these things by association. Shame on anyone that's "OK" with this douchebag or anyone he has working for him (including the Russians.)

So, yeah...I don't have "civil discourse" with sexual deviants or anyone that aligns themselves with it. It's not political either...it's HUMAN. If you support Trump, then you're a maggot just like him. And yeah, I know this comment will probably offend Trump supporters and I'm A-OK with that. Stop supporting a bug that's lower than a maggot, and I'll stop hating your alliance with said creature.

I can see you are VERY serious! But, trump may have some redeeming qualities that we are not aware of...i’m Just saying!!!

@Freedompath I would ordinarily say a man's love for his kids is one redeeming quality, but I can't even say that about Trump with his creepy fucking comments about Ivanka. So no, there doesn't necessarily have to be one single good or redeeming quality about everyone. Trump is one of those people.

@Freedompath
Ya think?... Well, I hear Hitler liked and was kind to dogs...
I doubt any of trumpet's "redeeming qualities " are grand enough to overcome the horrendous damage he and his machine have done to the WORLD!

@Freedompath. ?

@njoy_life_2 no way was I defending trump...but, ‘there is some good in the worst of us and bad in the best of us,’ I am trying to not let my rashional disdain for trump...not do ME in!

10

It seems that logic has fallen to the wayside against emotion. Not to demerit the value of either one, yet to place either above the other is a sure fire way to incite dissent.

Take for instance our lack of belief. Some are fueled by the logical deduction that none of the theological explanations make any sense. Others are fueled by the emotional realization that they've been, basically, lied to their entire life.

The logical view of this takes into account the emotional factor of deceit. The emotional side takes into account the logical reasoning of justifying that they have indeed been lied to.

Debate can seem shallow at its worst at times, yet I equate that to the "debate" between Ham and Nye. Not all debates are fairly balanced, and often times they're quite predictable.

Not all people are able to be "fair debaters", and to me that's par for the course in this wild game of life.

I don't think I was really an atheist for a year or so after I left Christianity, I was a very angry anti-theist lol and probably very angry at the god I claimed to stop believing in. Some never get over that hump.

I was kicked out of an atheist/agnostic group last year when an atheist started tagging me and criticizing agnostics and I posted Dawkins saying he's not a 7 on his own scale.

I wish atheism was the wonder pill for totally rational thought, but it's not.

@educatedredneck Good point, I did forget to mention trolls; or jerks basically.

The 'us vs. them' mentality will pervade into any group regardless of how rational it appears to be sadly. After all, any group of thought is comprised of humans. We all know how fallible and vicious those animals can be from time to time.

I hope you've found a more welcoming community here though, as there seems to be a healthy mixed bag of thought.

9

I freely admit that I loathe Trump and nothing you have to say is going to sway me on that. However, I'd be interested in knowing why otherwise decent people continue to support this man. Some of it I can figure out. They didn't feel heard. They felt looked down upon by a bunch of snooty liberals. Trump came to where they lived and told them what they wanted to hear. Add to that an intense dislike of Hillary. But how can they CONTINUE to support him? I guess Trump was right when he said, "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters."

vita Level 7 May 15, 2018

“I freely admit that I loathe Trump and nothing you have to say is going to sway me on that.”

This ridiculous statement is the problem. You probably live in an echo chamber outside of reality and only read/view biased left wing media.

If you actually opened your mind to reality you might see the benefit of listening to others with different ideas. Just a thought. 🙂

@KenG, I'm aware that bias exists, so on the stories I really care about, I like to check it out from several different sources. I like BBC and The Economist for stories about U.S. politics because they're outside the U.S., so not as much in the game. BBC is a little left-leaning. The Economist is a little right-leaning, but very rational. For U.S. news sources, I respect many outlets that you'd likely label "biased left wing media," but which are respected for their journalism around the world (such as The New York Times and The Washington Post). I think that Reuters is an excellent news service. For the conservative view, I like The Wall Street Journal and Forbes. If that list, to you, sounds like "an echo chamber outside of reality" then I would submit that you need to examine your own echo chamber.

Your snark at the end was uncalled for. It was a personal attack. You'll notice that I'm not responding in kind.

@KenG i watch News from the right on Fox Newsand read theDrusge Report, Beitbart the Blaze, listen to Limbaugh, O'Reilly(has podcast)

@Hellbent well your the one who started 9this post and you don't live in the States?? You have a lot of nerve telling Americans how they should feel about Trump.

People from other countries are definitely entitled to their opinions on American politics. What we do and don't do affects the world for better or worse.

@KenG
I agree that one needs to heed both sides, yet, even when adhering to that advice, I find nothing to admire about trumpet.
I wonder how much you are paying attention to alternate views.

@Hellbent well honestly....I would never speak about Australian politics. Are you still under the Queen?? See how much I know???

@Hellbent in you didn't say anything about coming from an Australian point of view in the original post.How would you know?? Ohh you know everything.. BS.

9

I'm a political activist, and I talk politics a lot.i don't think its possible for me to enter into a conversation with people who aren't on my side.They are wired differently and they like Trump because he is authoritarian. I don't care for how Trump has taken apart many of Obama's policies.i don't care for his lying, incompetent people around him.and chaos everywhere. Even his moving to the embassy to Jerusalem backfired. Trump has Palestinian blood on his hands for moving and getting people to escalate anger there was wrong.

@Hellbent Seems to me, you haven't spoken to many people from the other side. Many of them truly are as dumb as they are perceived.

@vnufall
Genuine question/comment here.
Do you really think it was a "mistake" on the trumpet machine's agenda to move the embassy? It appears very likely to me, and some others, that further conflict, battles, bloodshed, and wars in the middle east is EXACTLY what they have in mind.
I've accepted the axiom, "Don't look at the damage to see who's at fault, follow the money, instead!
Then we find who profits, whose hand has steered us to this point... FOLLOW THE MONEY!
Which US/brit companies "own" the old war's oilfields? What money changed hands from lobbyist to politician? Does Putin stand to make billions on his investments?
The trumpet machine doesn't give a shit about those dead people, or about you, or me, only about their greed.

I used to be a political activist, and a rabid one at that, but no longer take an active day to day interest as believe we have a systemic problem that goes far beyond what I now think of as an impotent political system. In my opinion democracy died a long time ago but nobody seems to have noticed. The political machinations of the "left", "right" and all persuasions in between are skewed to the interests of capitalism. Accordingly the real problem is in the very nature of western society. I don't know the answers but do believe a massive cultural shift is vital for the very survival of the human race and I no longer believe political action is the way to achieve that. No, i am not promoting armed rebellion or anything like that but simply suggest a revolution of sorts based around mutual survival.

@njoy_life_2

@njoy_life_2 i agree...what about Netanyahu? Money is the bottom line supersedes everything.

@KenG
I found that very enlightening Ken. Ty.
I will be the first to admit my ignorance regarding the history of the Israeli state.
That admitted, however, I cannot help but think there is more to the story, and there are huge failings on the Jewish and US side too.
.
Whatever the details, tho, I am incensed at the PRESENT DAY evil actions of ALL these political idiots against defenseless peoples on both sides.
I am appalled at trump's (et al) insistence on moving the embassy, when he/they knew this violence would be the result.
I absolutely despise those "supposed" christians who perceive these horrid acts as "the beginning of the last days".
They are selfish, greedy assholes who are willing to do and permit ANY cruel, nasty, inhuman and inhumane acts so they " can create their precious Apocalypse " and "live in heaven, forever!"
They are equally culpable for every injury and death that happens!
.
Gawd, that was intense! My adrenaline is lowering now. Stepping off the soapbox now...

@njoy_life_2 Are you also appalled at the attitude or the Arabs who wish Israel to be ‘wiped off the face of the Earth’?

@KenG
Yes, indeed I am. I believe I addressed that when I said, "... the present day, evil actions of ALL these political idiots against defenseless peoples of both sides...".

@KenG
Yes, indeed I am. I believe I addressed that when I said, "... the present day, evil actions of ALL these political idiots against defenseless peoples of both sides...".

9

Yes. Very difficult to talk with anyone who is sure their ignorance is superior to mine.

Especially when i know i am correct.

Ha, ha, ha! Nice one, Jacar.

😀

9

Sorry you feel this way. I'm a British communist so thought I might encounter hostility on this mainly American populated site. Not so - I read some very interesting, humane and considerate pieces here and frequently laced with some very witty remarks. One of the problems with attempting to discuss social or political matters is that immature people will make it personal and turn the 'discussion' into a war of words using inflammatory language and dragging 'facts' out of thin air to 'score' some 'victory'. Usually, I can suss out this type pretty quickly and leave them to rant alone in their own little corner. Don't be disheartened - maybe you haven't met the right ones on here yet.

8

There are some things that have no merits. I will not debate with individuals who want people like me dead, or with those who support such individuals.

@Hellbent no, but there are supporters of such individuals here.

@Donotbelieve The conservative evangelical individual and agenda are anti-lgbt in every aspect, including death to lgbt individuals as per biblical instruction.

@Donotbelieve oh! No, sorry, I wasn't very clear. 'People like me' as in LGBT folks. Thankfully no-one on the site has made it personal. ?

8

In my travels I have engaged with many people and always try to start off at a person-person level on topics of mutual interest and consequently have met people where there is two-way respect, despite our differences of opinions or beliefs. Not always easy because many people are just natural opinionated bigots and best thing to do with those is simply quietly move on. At one stage I even engaged in on-line conversations in an ultra right wing group, very dangerous territory if you are a big mouth. Yet at times I actually managed to calm the waters by listening, analysing and putting things in terms they related to. Not something I would recommend for the faint hearted but it was a mildly rewarding experience.

My hero!

A number of year's ago, I was to attend a funeral that ended up being protested by the Westboro Baptist Church. If you don't know these freaks of nature I recommend you do. I would not have been so thick skinned, I would have gotten in their face. Unfortunately, I had a major scheduling conflict with my job, they lost my request for time off. So I had to call the grieving family and tell them I couldn't make it, one of my saddest days of my life.

@IceManBNice420 i avoid group contact with such "mobs", only way is a one-on-one and relate as a person first. Thanks for the heads up on the Westboro Baptists, I will avoid them. ?

8

I personally do not feel that I am well informed on political and social issues to have the conversations that you are referring too and I am at the age now that I really do not give that much thought to it. I am a bleeding heart liberal politically and socially. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

7

Hellbent, I feel you! I have turned away frompolital debates and am now completely immersed in doing things to change what I don't like. I went to vote on the school budget yesterday. The two volunteers welcoming me were prominent people in our community. They were not aware that their whole way of doing business would have to change now that no migrants are coming to pick the apples and that China is buying their soybeans from other places.
See, educating citizens about the real, local impact of decisions made in haste and for no real reason except political ones is not popular. So, as much as I like to debate, i will not participate beyond this post.

7

I think an email/ text/messenger way of communicating is fraught with difficulties. Typing on my tiny phone screen is annoying. But this is the best we have for people who are scattered across continents. I've had some good messaging and some that is difficult to make out because of sentence structure or spelling. I guess we just have to keep on trying

Great answer... i use my phones.

6

I have Right Wing tendencies and have great difficulty when debating with people with Left Wing tendencies. They seem to resort to childish name calling and refuse to listen/read the evidence I give them which back up my claims, or influence me. They don’t back up their claims with data/evidence. It is very like dealing with believers when debating god.

KenG Level 6 May 16, 2018

Both sides are guilty of the same tactics. Look at the Bell Curve of society, the far left and right have the least numbers but seem the most apt to be militant about their stance. Unfortunately it also appears they get the most press instead of the majority who are more flexible, more open to compromise and discourse.
I have no room for militants, if something won't flex it will break.

In my experience no.

Being irrational in debate is not a characteristic of one side of politics or the other. I'm sollidly left wing myself, and I see loads of right-wingers resorting to abuse and name-calling. Heck knows how many times I've been a 'libertard from Londonistan', or a 'politically correct snowflake', or a 'fucking communist', or ... well ... loads of others.

If you debate, and you do it with intelligence and rationality, then you will attract 'opponents' who don't have the wit to formulate arguments, and will resort to stupidity and personal attack.

If you're right wing, those 'poor quality opponents' you bring out of the shadows will be left wing - and you'll end up thinking 'heck there are a hell of a lot of left wing morons around'. For me, the morons all appear right wing.

The reallity, Ken, is that the morons are EVERYWHERE - and neither side of the debate is free of them.

@ToakReon well said

I've been called more names,smowflake, fake, elitist, stupid,c$$t. All kinds of names if they don't care for what I'm talking about.

I tend to be more center and yet get bashed by the right more than the left. The reality is too far to one side or the other creates conflick and when threatened emotionally people will lash out with a personal attack. Once this happens I can not longer engage and simply move on.

6

The almost instant reversion to name-calling, third grade tactics and pissing contests is disheartening. I find that often a simple question asked from ignorance draws the most venomous responses instead of an explanation of why the responder finds the question offensive.
Quite often a responder will interject a political remark (it seems to me) just because they think it is cute or clever, but it has no relevance to the thread. Is it a ploy to get attention? Trolling? After all there is a category for that for those who wish to talk about politics. Why not keep it there?
Or I may be wrong, that's always a possibility for people being people.

5

(I posted this in response, below, but thought I'd share here too.)
Maybe I've been lucky, but I've not seen that much animosity. I'm sorry for those who have.
(Lol, and yes, I'm opinionated, - not quite mainstream liberal in everything - I really do want to know why those who disagree with me feel the way they do. Occasionally I learn sumtin' lol.

I did read a few comments that the Interloper suggested, was pleasantly surprised, ty for sharing.
I strongly suspect many of the liberal/conservative spectrum lose their objectivity at times..
My suggestion?
Let's all go to our neutral corners, take a deep breath, and try it again, considering this. If we want to convince others of our viewpoint, we need to understand theirs, inasmuch as possible.
Most thinking people have at least some valid points.

@mudhen
There is indeed that danger, hen.
I have to watch that, myself.

5

I think it can be difficult because people sometimes get a little heated and then a side issue arises and the original conversation goes off track. But if you have the patience to trawl through the replies you will often find that there are people further down the thread trying to have a sensible conversation with you. Keep trying!

5

I can debate with anyone with an opposing view a lot of the time we discuss we include our own egos and beliefs subconsciously or consciously and this is something that causes communication breakdown. Listening to respond is better method of discussion than waiting to respond

5

Yeah I'm so jaded on social media discourse, I try to not engage in any of it.

5

I recommend discussing important stuff like whiskey, cigars, guns, and women.
Leave religion and politics to, as you pointed out, the True Believers.

I like your thoughts on what's important... Some of my favorite things!

5

I get the feeling that the current zeitgeist has centered around a very us vs. them model. And some of it is that a lot of groups who have been legitimately marginalized by 'the system' are finally reaching population numbers and social infrastructure capabilities be able to start speaking with a collective voice that can be heard on a large enough platform. I do not use air quotes for 'the system' to deride that ideology, but to establish that I am using it as a collective term for the system-level paradigms that are viewed as needing to change. For me to attempt to define or extrapolate further than this would derail the conversation entirely and would not be done as properly as I would like. To some extent, the parenting trends intended to replace the somewhat toxic and psychologically problematic parenting styles of the past seemed to overcompensate in the other direction, and there does seem to be a much higher 'snowflake' factor post 1990s. I think a lot of people got too caught up in 'I'm special' to remember that 'so is everyone else.' Some of it is the 'privelige population' sees this attempt at change as an attack, as some means of trying to lay them low. And the rhetoric is part of the issue. No one likes to hear themselves demonized, and attempts to understand may be interpreted poorly, or may actually be inadvertently inappropriate. Discourse has become a nuclear minefield, because people are speaking from the place of their passions, and the more in-depth and abstract and intricate the discourse, the less passion and pathos have a real place. Some people would state that 'arguing in a vacuum is pointless' but I believe that it is beneficial to the process to engage in debating the merits and issues of something with as few variables as possible, and then applying variables in layers to gain a better understanding of the interplay between those layers and variables. One of the chief problems with our government as a whole in the US, in my mind, is that it's a machine, with roots in the potential efficiency of bureaucracy, that's been running consistently for a long time, and any repairs or maintenance of that machine must be done without the machine ever actually stopping completely. But that is the cost of relative stability, I suppose. I also am not a fan of party politics, but those have been heavily polarized for longer than I've been alive. In the end, this would historically classify as a time of unrest, I suppose, and people are taking their opportunities (or sometimes making them) to fight back, to engage in battles with microcosms of the They.

@Hellbent I hit party politics and realized I was about to tangent in an irrelevant way and decided to end it before I stopped making actual sense.

4

If you think it is difficult here go to the conservative atheists group and see how tolerant they are of any liberal opinions.

@TheInterlooper I have and I stand by my comment.

I'm pretty "left". Pro-choice, pro-immigration, pro-glbtq, want to decrease the DoD, pro-education...and I've found animosity and intolerance from my fellow "liberals" growing over the last few years to the point where now many who identify as "right" are more tolerant. People who identify as "libertarian" seem to be more prone to civil discussion when we disagree

That's just my anecdotal experience over a few years, but it's mirrored by several academics

@educatedredneck
Maybe I've been lucky, but I've not seen that much animosity. I'm sorry for those who have.
(Lol, and yes, I'm opinionated, - not quite mainstream liberal in everything - I really do want to know why those who disagree with me feel the way they do. Occasionally I learn sumtin'.

@TheInterlooper
I did read a few comments there, was pleasantly surprised, ty for sharing.
I strongly suspect many of the liberal/conservative spectrum lose their objectivity at times..
My suggestion?
Let's all go to our neutral corners, take a deep breath, and try it again, considering this. If we want to convince others of our viewpoint, we need to understand theirs, inasmuch as possible.
Most thinking people have at least some valid points.

I went to the suggested post and it is pretty normal. It's some of the other posts in the group that give me cause for pause.
Once the emotions take over the thinking reasoning part of the mind takes a nap. ALL of the countries that practice socialised democracy are doing much better than America. We have far and away too much poverty, racism, poor education systems given the level of taxation. Too much is spent on the military machine. Too many expensive toys. Hey just my opinion. But I will never call ANYONE an animal as trump ha just done.

4

I'm very passionate about politics because every aspect of our lives and future depends on politics. For the most part I'm middle of the road, depending on the topic.I'm registered democrat, but if there was a smart, intelligent republican who actually listened to all their citizens. It's very rare to find one, politicians have changed their policies. The first official Republican was Abraham Lincoln, and the "democrat" party of his time were the first republicans, not the ones of today. Federalists became Democrats and Anti-Federalists became Republicans, When Lincoln was put in office he had the original democrats and republicans, but their roles have reversed in politics with Lyndon Johnson. A democrat president who acted republican, or vice versa, however you want to look at it. Who signed the Gulf of Tonkin incident into action, killing more than hundreds of 19 yr olds, just to please republicans and gave them a war. Once he gained their confidence, he did something unheard of for a republican. He signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964, something most favorable towards American citizens. Then came Richard Nixon, opening trade with China, each president since then had some positive and some negative aspects in their reigns of presidency. UNTIL Trump, he literally has done nothing for the country, and is undoing what is good for citizens. Don, the orangutan, in question is using his very deep pockets to run the country, which he is actually ruining this country. His own party wants to get rid of him, but his pockets are deeper than their faith in their own party. Look how horrible Trump has been with John McCain. The followers of Trump, mostly Christian evangelical, the ones who are anti-progressive, very limited education, favor Jim Crows Laws, anti-LGBTQ community and their allies. Trying to defund Planned parenthood, pardoning real criminals, etc., etc.. Trump said he was not a politician, then why go into politics? Jesse "The Body" Ventura, proved you don't have to have a political background, to be a politician because he actually listened to his advisors. Trump is not doing that, he's appointed his family and partners in crime (literally) as political advisors, whom don't know what their suppose to be telling Trump. We can not get any lower than this, but it can if Trump has enough "core" supporters to keep him as president. for another fours years after 2020. Please do not let this happen. Please vote him out of office. Make America Relevant Again.

@Hellbent Very unfair. If not for that war he would have gone down as a great President. He accomplished more than just the civil rights legislation, although that alone was huge. The two parties were not so far apart as they are now.

@Sticks48 LBJ escalated the Vietnamese War...

@vnufall I know, l was in the Army 68 thru 70, and not by choice.

@Sticks48 I agree with what you said. That's when the split of the two parties began.

4

You're seeking validation - otherwise there wouldn't be a need to debate nor would there be this whine about how difficult it is to debate. The whine is likely a result of people not readily agreeing with your position. I never feel the need to debate because there are far more worthy things to talk about. Am I going to spend my time conversing with someone that disagrees with every political point I have to offer i.e., fact in my opinion or am I going to talk to people with similar interests like gardening? I choose gardening over debating with some misguided individual that Trump doesn't have their best interests at heart. Find other things to talk about people are weary of politics and social controversies - this site is one forum that allows you to distance yourself from all the noise.

4

This video is how I feel about anyone that supports Trump. I'm the guy doing the slapping, and the people being slapped are Trump supporters. And I'm slapping the shit out them trying to make them snap out of the Hitler-like spell they're under.

@TheInterlooper

Thank you. That made me chuckle.

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