Do you think it's possible for two people of the opposite sex to maintain a platonic relationship? This has never worked for me. It's always been assumed by the other party that it would be friends with benefits.
To all the women who think they are in happy platonic relationships at the moment:
Next time you’re with him, gently ask him one evening if he’d like to have sex with you. See what his response is.
I'm curvy/BBW/whatever-you-call-someone-overweight and I can guarantee you there are a few of my guy friends who wouldn't touch me sexually with a 10 foot pole.
I'd wager that same idea the other way around too. Men aren't the only ones with sex on their mind all the time, and let's face it; damn is sex fun!
@Marcie1974 You might be surprised. Some men like larger ladies. Ask them.
You may be surprised, Marcie. By assuming that, aren't you simply making their minds up for them? Maybe you're making it a foregone conclusion when it really isn't - after all, how do you know what someone else finds attractive (and personality plays no small part in this!)? If you automatically assume that you're not attractive, others will pick up on your lack of interest, interpreting it the wrong way.
@KenG oh I know lots of men find curves sexy. I’m specifically thinking of a coworker who is quite thin. I’m quite certain he would have zero interest in me because fitness is an extremely high priority for him. Which is completely fine because I’m not really attracted to very slim men. I try not to judge by body type but let’s face it, we all have preferences.
@KenG, @moNOtheist I probably didn’t write that correctly or clearly. I don’t necessarily find myself unattractive. But I do know several men who are only attracted to very slim or fit women. That’s just what they’re attracted to and that’s ok. My preference is a dad bod and I generally do not find very slim men attractive. Granted I try not to limit my opinion by body type but we all have preferences.
It’s difficult if one fancies the other. I think women find it easier to be just friends with a guy, but we (men) would even have sex with a women he didn’t really fancy if he hasn’t had it for a while. This causes difficulties.
I think I shall start using the word fancy in your context. Sounds much more elegant.
Sure it is, but I think it's more rare than the alternative. I have my own anecdotal stories about other people and what I've seen, but it's hardly scientific. I still think it's more rare.
There are also the people who are in platonic friendships, but never tell the other person that they are attracted to them and don't want to go further for fear of hurting the friendship.
Yeah, I have to admit, several of my decades long friendships were that way at one time or another. Then, I love it when they tell me 15 years after meeting that they had a crush on me and I secretly had a crush on them. But I've always been oblivious that way. If a woman were to sit on my face, I'd still have to say whmmph mmme? Just to be sure sorry for being so crass.
@Dingodog Yeah, I've been there.
I am (somehow, inexplicably) still clinging to my last shred of belief that this is possible--despite my ever-growing cache of experience in inadvertantly attracting admirers.
It would appear that most people's brains are routinely commandeered and/or short-circuited by their gonads. I'm not a fan of glandular relationships.
Couldn't agree more! LOL
I have several platonic male friends. Pretty sure they wouldn't be interested in me sexually or romantically and I am not to them. That being said, there are a few guys where we've been platonic and I've either wanted to sleep with them or they me but it wasn't reciprocated. That can make the friendship weird going forward.
Of course.
Do people recognize the relationship of "work spouse" these days?
My last real job I had a lot of "work wives", when I left they became "Hector's widows". Guys never seem to stick around long enough to create that bond and I was a lot of fun to be around and specially good at judging female shoes! They knew I was not a "creepy fella" looking for benefits. Boundaries, boundaries.
yes, of course its possible, been there, done that
Of course it's entirely possible. Just because you're opposite sex doesn't mean you're going be banging each other. Natural desire and thoughts if it may occur to some people, does not necessarily follow that you must act on them. Got to respect each others boundaries and maintain friendship if that's what's important to you
Yes. One of my closest friends is a woman I've been friends with for years. She's very attractive but we have absolutely no romantic interest in each other.
A lady friend and I carried on a platonic relationship for 10 years. She was married and I was single. We had opportunities for intimacy on many occasions, yet remained platonic until I met someone else, married and moved away. So, yes, a meaningful platonic relationship is possible. I loved, and still love my friend some 20 years later.
There are just some people where there is absolutely no connection, attraction or chemistry coming from both sides. I have a few of those and have interest in ever being with them and they feel the same way. I think as we get older, we can establish those boundaries much better than what we can in our earlier years. That is what I have noticed over time.
I have wonderful friendships with men and always have. I will admit it's easier if we're both clear that there are boundaries. If they're married, I make a point of befriending their wives so they realize I have no other agenda than friendship. I also have friendships with people (male and female) quite a bit younger. The reason I have few friends much older is that I'm turning 70 this year and there just aren't that many people older.
Absolutely ...my best friends are male ..and generally I prefer being in male company .Personally ..I find a lot of women hard work..and I relate better to males ..
If you asked any of them quietly when you’re alone together one evening if they’d like to have sex with you, what do you think they would say?