What's the last thing you said to the person you were leaving on the way out of your last relationship?
You're a beautiful person and we are great friends but we just aren't good together as lovers.
(in fairness she was really hot, looked a lot like Barbie but she just didn't click with me, we are still friends)
He asked if I'd give him a hall pass for a week to meet with his ex-fiance and see if he had any feelings for her and then he could decide if he wanted to be with her or me. We had been dating a year and a half at this point. I said, "I'll give you more than a week, you can have the rest of your life" and I left.....the end
Mic drop! Good for you!
I'm going to remember that one!
To my husband: "You need to talk about this with your therapist or sponsor: I just can't handle this right now. I have to try to get my shit together and go to work". I then hung up on him. He was found dead from fentanyl intoxication later that day. Sorry, pretty heavy- but no one has asked before and I guess I needed to get it out.
?Thank you for sharing this?
You advised him to get help. He didn't take it. You can't be someone's crutch if it's depleating your self preservation .
@Kimberclimbs Thanks for saying that. I had learned to set boundaries with him; he was actually living elsewhere while addressing his issues. It's difficult to love someone while hating what they're doing.
@Maybeimamazed thanks for the emoji love
Our country has a horrible problem with this. I'm so sorry for both of you, but of course you have to take care of yourself first when dealing with an addict.
@seaspot_run Yes. Doctors fed his addiction for far more years than the dealers.
It's been a while since we chatted. How re you doing these days? Better, I hope. I didn't understand it at the time of her leaving, but I was under the influence of mood enhsncing drugs. When the dr asked if I would accept a higher dose to "improve my condition", I passed. A few months later, I read an article in a medical type newspaper that described my condition as a result of using anti-depression and anti-psychotic meds. The article gave me much to consider, especially the long term effects of those meds.
I rested my reactions to earlier events (while being medicatedl and came to the conclusion they were "zombifying" me. Nothing excited me, nothing really ticked me off, but most of all, nothing "turned me on". I was a zombie and I thought I should change. So I did what every doctor warned me about, slowly withdraw, don'tjust stop. I stopped, mostly to experience the lack of zombiness. For about three months, it was quite the rooler coaster ride. As the meds left my system and my body responded to their loss, all the reactions that I suppressed came back, gangbuster style. Highs, lows, cheering happiness, crying over imagined and unimagined stuff, but one thing I did notice was I responded to sexual stimulation. I'd almost forgotten how wonderful that felt. By the end of the ride, I could laugh at funny, I could cry at sad, I could resond to a woman in a short skirt.
Without the "calming" effect of the drugs, I had highs high enough to catch my attention and apply the brakes, so to speak, and lows low enough to make me stop and consider my state of mind. I'm not cured, not normal, but in control and I like and respect myself and have come to respect and forgive others. That same journey with a little piush from religious types allowed me to question, learn, consider and contemplate my relationship with my lifelong belief system.
Recovery, by any name, is the result of facing harsh truths in spite of fear. I read, I listened, I thought, I reasoned and I made up my mind based on evidence as well as lack of evidence. Today, I am, I am me, I am aware, and I am unafraid.
I sincerely hope that you have found your best place in the universe.
By the way, I know I talk too much.
Some context first so I don't sound like a total bitch. My husband had walked out on me and a month later he pulled up in what had been my truck, pushed his giant dog out the door and told me to take care of her because he was headed for the hospital. I put the dog in the house and told my daughter (not his) I needed to find out what was happening and followed. Turns out he'd been ignoring symptoms and almost died that night. I stayed until they wheeled him into surgery. I went back when he was in a room to check each day for about four days. The last time I was there he asked me to go to his apartment and clean it up for him. So my last words were: Fuck you.
I love you, I will always love you. I just can't do this anymore.
Long time ago, 2004 she left my place, I said "good bye",
5 years later her brother owned a 1/3 share in my property, they arrived, solicitors and all and tried to evict me. I didn't go until they paid me out for my 2/3, but when they arrived, her 1st and last words to me were
‘I’d rather be homeless in a ditch than spend one more night in this house with you’. I meant it, too! Packed my car and took off.
He was a covert narcissist, who became increasingly emotionally/verbally abusive. By the time I left, I had put up with WAY too much.
@CarolinaGirl60 this is not a unique story. Hope you're well now.
@Beamdump2020 I’ve recovered. I love the bones of the man, truly: I just can’t be closer than 300 miles to him. We tried twice, once in college when we first fell in love, and again from 2003-2014. Just didn’t work.
"Take care of yourself - call me if you ever need help". The second comment led to me helping her move - packing the truck was fine - the new place being 3 stories up - not so much. No good deed goes unpunished lol.
2 points foe being human.
“You want to stay with me despite your stated desire to leave. If I was there, you couldn’t stay away. I’m not anything special, but thats what this is. “
She left me because I was neither Republican nor Christian.
Bonus for you for not being attached to either a Republican or a believer.
We have kids so talking is ongoing. Thankfully it’s super amicable
'I love you but when you see me getting smaller it means I'm leaving.' he drank, way too much
You can always call me, I'll be there. And every time she calls I answer. We may see Book Club together. We are not soulmates but we have each other diagrams memorized.
"I love you too but you decided we couldn't be together & you left. I'm just respecting your choice & staying gone."
Maybe I'll see you around.
Then I ziplined out the window moments before the apartment exploded. Just kidding about the explosion.
At the end, I’m standing in the doorway.
I’d left, driven down the road, he called, told me of something pretty important that I had to go back and get.
So, I’m standing there in the doorway, and he opens his arms like I’m coming back. I looked down; he closed his arms, handed me whatever the hell it was—Funny how I’ve forgotten what—and I turned and left.
Just due to habit, we continued some sloppy, messy attempt at being friends.
Heh. We’d never been friends.
Laughing. I remember a few key things. I’d known where we were headed, but I was pretty sure he’d be my last lover, my last attempt, so I stayed longer than I should have, so I wouldn’t regret not giving it my best try.
My part of the conversation began: What did you just say?
Haha.
I didn't say anything. On Feb 14th, I put a big card and a bouquet of flowers on the dining room table. She thanked me nicely. On Feb 15th, I was reading the local newspaper when I saw her with the dog leashes and them heading out the door. I presumed they were goung for a walk down by the lake. The door closed after she ushered the dog out. Suddenly, the door opened again and she stuck her head back in. " I'm leaving you and I'm taking the dog" were the last words out of her mouth for over a year. That was that.