My only Rev Ian Paisley joke (For those who don't him just google him but he was a protestant minister)
This also works better with a Northern Irish accent so just imagine one
Ian Paisley was putting his grandchildren to bed when one of them said
'Tell us a bed time story granddad, tell us a horror story'
He thought about it for a moment and then said......
'Once upon a time there was a Catholic.....and now there's fucking millions of them!!!'