"As an introvert, I don't have the liberty to be choosy with friendships." That my dear is NOT a friendship. I call those people my clients because I do have people in my life that cannot give back to me so I choose to give to them but labeling them as friends??? Not a chance. Friendship is reciprocal.
A lot of people in my world are here because I do not expect anything in return. I grew up surrounded by people with severe mental health issues and they truly cannot give in the ways required to form a friendship so I limit my time with them because it is draining.
The most difficult part for me (and I assume you) was finding people that do give and form friendships because I really don't go anywhere either nor do I reach out much. (Introvert or shell shocked) I also think setting boundaries when no-one in my world ever respected my right to my own thoughts let alone my time, body or personal space is going to be a lifelong challenge because I never knew I had that right. I felt guilty saying no to my "clients" because they truly do need my love but I have needs too and learning to value my needs first or at all has been the greatest challenge.
So, as an introvert in need of reciprocity I suggest doing exactly what you are doing and reach out online. I found community development groups and environmental forums and now this site and get my emotional needs met that way. I am not ready to meet face to face or discuss my personal life in private with anyone but being able to even have a discussion that includes what I think is a step in the right direction.
So very many people get damaged beyond repair in childhood and will be drawn to us because they do need our compassion but they have no clue how to think beyond survival. If our needs are not met or worse yet abused it stunts our growth and forces us to form negative patterns that rarely ever change.
We are the fortunate ones that still have something left to give but we absolutely must give it to ourselves first and that IS for me anyway the challenge.

Most people seem to be selfish to a degree and become takers. I too am a giver and have given without condition but on the occasion I do need help I find it is the same very few close friends I have that step up. Has been this way for most of my life. Nowadays I still listen and give freely but to fewer people. To those that don't help or care I invest no further time beyond politeness.

I feel like this often. It's part of why I'm a teacher. I've kind of learned to accept this feeling as a part of who I am.

As introverts is our way to reach others but many times, that need to help and please others is just a way to fill our own insecurities and fear of loneliness. I say it because I've also been there. It’s mostly due to the wrong way that we were taught to relate to others.
Instead of prioritizing others over ourselves, we should start to look inside of us and start to build our strength and happiness by appreciating who we are as a person first and become our own priority instead of focusing all our attention to other people and giving them our full support, hoping that they will do the same thing at a certain time. This is not selfishness; it is doing things in an orderly manner. First feel good with yourself. We all have something to heal, work on it, empower yourself, then from your well-being, reach out to others, not for the need to please but for the pleasure of helping

I'm an introvert as well. I also tend to bend over backwards for all my friends. More often than not, they seem to only want to be my friend in return when its convenient to them.

I completely understand. I am in exactly the same situation. I try so hard to be helpful, to listen well... I don't feel like other are doing the same. It hurts.

Only my whole life and in every relationship. Also have been proven right as they move on as soon as they don't need me any more. Very much one sided relationships.

I've felt the same way for years. With only a few exceptions, most of my friends want someone who will listen to their problems, but very few even ask how I've been — and even when they do, it is often clear they do it out of social courtesy rather than a genuine interest. But I have just pulled back a little, so I make myself available only when I am feeling up to playing counselor.

i understand what you are saying...

It sounds like you're an empath personality type. Over time you will experience periods of burn out because you can actually feel someones emotions which is quite exhausting.. It's common and rarely do people loose friends by taking a break.

Yes I know how you feel. I don't actively seek reciprocation but I do tend to notice when it is not given. This made me feel as though I was less likely to help the next person. I had to adjust my expectations and now I make a mental note when I do help someone that there are no expectations attached. May I also add that trying to help people/everyone can be very draining and it will suck the life out of you. I think it is good to be a little discerning and with practice that becomes easier and more reliable. I think that everyone has the liberty to be choosy including introverts and probably more especially introverts (speaking from personal experience).

"As an introvert, I don't have the liberty to be choosy with friendships. " That's some statement. Anyone over at least 25, and probably younger, should be in charge of their own life. You get to decide who you're friends with and who you don't want to be friends with. Even if that circle of friends is small, large or in between you control that; introvert or not. I encourage you to take care of yourself. Life is too short to deny your own needs.

Yes! For most of my life! I know how you feel, especially since I help others and help solve their problems, and I'm also an introvert.

Your a giver and they're takers. Find another giver. It's that simple!

I find I'm becoming more introverted because of that exact thing. Most people only want to associate with me to get something from me.

Unfortunately, yes.

The paradox of the introvert (I'm one, and one of my daughters, and my mom) is that we typically have a small circle of friends and are ok with that and being by ourselves, but yet we still tend to get lonely or feel like outsiders. Paradoxically I think there should be local meetup groups for introverts who want to hang with others occasionally but who aren't great at reaching out. I think we introverts either give off sort of a weird vibe to others or else we perceive we don't fit in as well and so miss out on being included in things.

But on to the subject .... over the last 30 years my wife (who is more social than I) has experienced what you describe many times; one sided relationships where she got very little back from the other person. One by one she just withdrew from those relationships and is happier because of it. I'd say pick the person who you are getting the least back from and just start withdrawing - make your conversations less frequent and shorter. Don't call them - they may stop calling you altogether. If you find after awhile you don't miss that person, move on to the next person on the list.

Yes, when I was young but I stopped. Then suddenly all the drama went away and I learned to really enjoy my life. I think when you try to be considerate, a lot of people take that like they're more important than you so they take advantage. Focus more on yourself and your needs... You can still be nice but you have to be careful who you're nice to.

You sound like a caring person, Alimacbean. You deserve to have reciprocating friendships where your feelings and self-worth are cared for too. True friendships take time to develop and patience to nurture and not everyone wants to or is capable of doing this.

I think I can relate.

We get everything "sucked out" of us because in reality, it's a special gift we have to actively listen. It's the foundation to truly help, support, solve.

If I've learned anything, take some time for yourself too before you burn out.

I have had similar experience. Many people take without reciprocating. Sorry that happens to you.

Hang in there, and be you, is all you can do. The two way streets are the ones to cherish.

I'm so used to acquiescing to what other people need at my own expense. Learning how to set limits and to take care of myself first. The hardest thing to get past is the belief that this somehow makes me "selfish" - but I'm also learning it's okay to give if it's coming freely, without feeling obligated or expecting anything in return.

Literally every day at work. I am always asking others how they are and caring about them and their wellbeing, but I honestly cannot remember the last time someone asked me anything about myself or my well-being beyond the initial "hi. how're you?" Of everyday greetings... Then again, I'm not sure they'd give a shit if I actually told them the truth instead of just saying things like, "I'm good", "pretty good", "fine", "a little tired, but otherwise okay", etc. et al.

I think it's normal, but ultimately delusional, to think we don't have the friends we deserve.