I would do the same. The stress it would cause everyone (including me) to challenge religion at that moment just wouldn't be worth it, after all they aren't suddenly going to realise the truth so nobody gains anything.

I generally agree with most who have said they'd do the same thing you did. I did that recently, at a Thanksgiving dinner.

But... the problem is that Christians usually don't give any consideration to the beliefs of others, instead assuming (probably even unconciously) that everyone is Christian. I don't know if those of other faiths do the same thing, as I haven't had any experience with those folks. But I think those folks would speak up if in the same situation, and they would be right to do so. When we don't speak up, we marginalize ourselves, and let these people continue assuming that everyone is Christian.

This last time it happened to me was different, because I hesitated, and did think about it for that split second I had to decide. I think that hesitation came from having joined this site. I think the next time I'm confronted with this situation, I will speak up, if I can work up the nerve.

At family gatherings, my father always leads a prayer. Everyone closes their eyes and bows their head. I just sit quietly, but I don't close my eyes or bow my head. I hesitate to say that I'm "respectful" of the beliefs of the others at the table, because "respect" often implies a form of admiration or approval, so I'll say that I'm "courteous" to the people at the table.

My aunt makes me pray with them when we eat. I'm uncomfortable with it. She's dying though, so I do it for her to have peace of mind.

I would hold hands, and then not say anything. I never waive from my principles. What would they (the religious ones) do if the tables were turned?

I would do exactly what you did.

The same as you... I don't want to hurt anyone because of my belief. I kind of feel dominate over them in a way because religion controls them and not me. So it doesn't hurt me at all. There's no god I have to answer to.

I often work with people who have various religious back grounds i have learnt to bow my head but keep my eyes open and just keep quiet whilst they get on with their rituals i want to respect their position but not compromise my own non belief it works well without any drama

I noticed that holding hands while someone prayed did not lighten up my flesh on fire. You did the right thing, in Puerto Rico too "Noche Buena" is the big party. Xmas just gifts... used to be 3 kings day on January 6 for gifts. But dec 25th was imposed on us. YOU ARE FINE AND DID THE CORRECT THING.

Same. Family beats non-existent gods.

I did the same thing, I had a BBQ and a married couple from the USA asked the same, I was totally blown away but I managed to keep a straight face (I think) and did as was asked.. that was a first for me. These 2 people are good friends and I would never hurt their feelings or insult them.

Hey, how I handle it I join hands and go with the flow. Just keep the peace, yet know how fruitless such things as prayers are. My Mom says prayers for me every night but I figure it won't kill me and it makes her feel better. She doesn't really know I'm an athiest. It would hurt her and why cause her grief. But I don't lie either. When grace is said at the table I don't say anything.

I understand how you feel. You want to be respectful to others even though you feel uncomfortable. When this happens around me I just sit or stand there and let them finish. I don't close my eyes or bow my head. One time someone noticed and asked why I wasn't praying. I simply replied, " You go ahead. I'm good ". It was left at that. No harm no foul.

I'd have done that, also. It's about being close with family. You did not say the prayer, nor did you feel obligated to.

Your description, though good, still doesn't have enough information to know how to answer. Two circumstances would be important, if it was me.

All of my family understands that I not only am not a 'believer', but also refuse to acknowledge rituals associated with and supportive of theology. Additionally, I'm resistant to but not as exclusively so, all ritual days and behaviors. Once in awhile I'll make exceptions, for example, if a person is mentally disabled and wouldn't understand. I also will stand or otherwise acknowledge respect for others' practices of these thiings in publlic settings or private settings if I'm a guest.

In my home, however, if people KNOW me and my ways, I expect reciprocal respect. If people would knowingly visit my home and knowingly dismiss and show disrespect for me, I would abstain and depending on severity of the disrespect, probably escort them to the door.

If it was at my home, I would ask that they say their prayer privately and in silence. On neutral ground or at their home I would stay courteously quiet.

Thanks Carly. Why do we have to assuage peoples misunderstandings on minor points that often lead to what people refer to as arguments which really should be discussions if we are being respectful of each others opinions.

Thanks for your explanation of three kings day and the catholic/pagan interference. You sound as though you have had a very interesting life.

Did you say the prayer? I would stand there and say nothing.

For those who believe, they have an uncontrollable urge to bring you to their thinking. I would make your feelings known that your not interested and in the future you won't comply. Maybe try to explain that you don't know if there is a god. but your sure that she doesn't either and your smart enough to say that you don't know.nor does she. Frankly I stopped believing in an imaginary friend at age 8

I would have done exactly what you did. You were concerned about the feelings of others and that is never wrong. My family, also, celebrates Christmas on the eve. They would eat fish before the midnight mass so they could have communion, after mass they eat the other stuff.

I agree with Skado and Atheist. I would do what you did. Choose your battles.

Some adjustments one make for the sake of your kids. Totally with you.