Dating is worse, especially these days.

There are sites like meetup.com, and they aren't dating sites. You search for other folks who share your interests. There are posts for people meeting up in a local bar or park, to talk about whatever interest it may be... boardgames, synthesizers, astonamy, knitting... You'll meet folks who'll want to meet you too.

I was in the same position for a while and I just started saying yes to everything. If anybody asked me if I wanted to go to anything, I would say yes and force myself to socialize. Signed up with meetup groups as well. Joined a workout group. Met some great people, got some nice friends.

It worked for a while, but slowly went back to my introvert-lifestyle. But at least I know how to go at it again if I so please..

In our youth we spend tons of time with peers, so we forge strong bonds of friendship relatively quickly. As we get older, though, we tend to focus more time on career, family, etc., and we don't spend so much social time with the same person or people day after day, week after week. We don't develop such close friendships as easily or as quickly. So, think back to your youth and what you did with the people who became your friends: sports? chess? video games? movies? comic books? It doesn't really matter what it was, but it was shared interests. That's what will get you closer to people in your area. Find some local clubs of interest to you, or sign up for a continuing education course, or volunteer in your community, or join a gym and stick to a consistent schedule, or start your own interest group and advertise on Craigslist. You can't make friends if you never meet people, so go where the people are — and then talk with them. The rest should happen organically, though it might take a fair amount more time and effort than it did when you were a kid. Good luck to you.

Here's an article about how long it takes to make friends that you might find interesting: [thecut.com]

I think that most men are in the same boat as you. Not many or hardly any have any male friends. You need to find yourself a hobby where you can mingle with like minded people.
Good luck.

Let me know if you figure it out.

Start being less of a homebody. Find something you like and start volunteering places. That will get you out and interacting with people.

Living in a religious conservative state is difficult when you are atheist. But there are so many of us who are in the same boat. I am 44, chubby female, and I am a foreigner here. I have zero friends outside the workplace. I want friends, not a hook up and am the ultimate homebody. So what am I doing?

1. No online dating- it’s dire
2. join Meet Up - I have discovered groups that share my ideas and interests
3. I love podcasts and go to those events
4. volunteering for people that need your skills or company. You will meet other volunteers.
   You will make friends, so will I!

Join a group with the same interest. Be it gaming, crochet, book club, or whatever have you. It's a good start. I met many people through my dancing activities, the rest is really up to me but I don't need any more friends.

Not having dealt with it myself, I'm not really sure. But I'd say find something you like to do, and then find a group to do it with. A book club, a bowling league, a gardening club, whatever you like to do. The fact that you like the same thing as the group should ease the awkwardness somewhat.

I totally hear you - that's one of the reasons why I'm here. I'm also approaching 40, an athiest, and childfree, as well as introverted. I have some friends, but once people started having kids, I found the parent friends drifting away. Plus people have moved. But virtual connections are awesome, too, so I have hopes of making some connections here.

I've tried meetup.com and volunteer work. Nothing has really worked out yet, but I'm not giving up - it can take a while to find a group that you click with.

I don't know if you game, but my husband has met people through his various gaming activities.

Similar boat but -5 years. I found a hobby rockhounding (digging for and searching for various minerals to add to my art) been making new friends that way through Facebook and gem clubs. Not all hobbies are as social though but just my.experience...

And maybe check who’s near you on this site. Who’s posting and if there are any groups near you.

My advice:
Hard to do, but put yourself out there. Next time you’re in a coffee shop, start a conversation.
Join groups and clubs. Facebook usually had groups with others in your area if you find an area of interest. Good luck!

The biggest reason we make friends more easily as kids is because we are forced to interact with more people. School, after school events, and so on... you're going to meet more people and odds are you'll hit it up with at least one. Same is true as an adult, but you have to make the conscious effort to interact by yourself. Find things you enjoy, a league/club/group that you can participate in. Odds are you'll meet people and some of them you'll befriend.

I think I understand what you are going through. Most of my life-long friends have kids. They just don't hang out with me very much anymore. Others have moved far away, and I talk to them occasionally. Making new friends is tough in your 30's. I mean true friends. For the last few years, I have befriended some felons. Most end up going to their old ways, and being even worse! Be careful who you friend. I'm probably in the same position as you. There is ALWAYS an online friend on here! Plus I hate when everyone wants to get together, grill, have a bonfire, and they stare at their phone most of the night! Don't even get me started on dating after 30!

Take Care ~ Mike

The only place I’ve made a lot of friends since turning 30 was gaming with comms. Learn to play a first person shooter on PC or mobile, join a clan, get the discord app and chat away. It’s a bunch of chat servers and voice chat party lines, groups for every game possible, always somethin goin on if you join the right discord servers. Even if you’re an introvert and talking to strangers sounds terrifying it’ll become no big deal after the first time you try it. No matter how new you are to a game there’s someone cool just a little further ahead that’s willing to help you figure it out. Most gamers I met are really chill with great senses of humor.

It’s highly addictive though, don’t spend too much money on in-game extras and treat it as a free strategy exercise. Make it a point to go live in the real world some too. The fraternity you experience in learning how to work together and the laughs are really valuable though. War Robots and Guns of Boom for iOS/Android are what I was playing mostly. A lot of people like Fortnite, PUBG and Rules of Survival these days too.

Hi, Visco,

You could check online for local meet ups and community groups that do things you enjoy..maybe hiking, bird watching, kayaking, jamming on instruments together, ballroom dancing, etc. You could volunteer to clean up a local park, or repair a hiking trail.

Facebook announced a rollout of a new dating app that combines meetups with dating so you can meet local people at nearby events you both enjoy and get to know each other before dating.

By the way you earn website points, and help other agnostic.com members get to know you better, when you write an informational profile that includes your hobbies and interests, and answer all the profile questions, since that's the first place many people look when they see a new member.

Also, the website uses your profile to find member matches, so the more details you include, the better the match.

Then you make comments and write your own posts to earn more points and privileges; for instance, at level two you can private email people. You get different perks with each level, and when you reach level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.

To find members near you, click on the "Meet" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and enter your preferred search parameters.
Or click on the "About" button at the top of the page to find links to FAQ or the website tutorial.
Click on the 'Meet" button to find member matches

Links to FAQ: [agnostic.com],
and a website tutorial: [agnostic.com]

I stopped accepting applications for new friends around 30 years of age.

To start a conversation just ask a question that must elicit an answer, and there you go, you are on your way !

There must be some type of a singles group in the area, or not too far from where you live. Join it. Even if it's church sponsored, JOIN IT. Then offer to help with any of the activities. Make yourself available to be called upon. Go out of your way to say hello and express an interest in other folks interests. Be a friend to any and all members. You will discover a new you. Enjoy your new life!

I had a good friend, we knew one another and worked together for 30 years, he died at the age of 52 under sad circumstance in a foreign country under circumstance I found pathetic taken to as a means of combatting loneliness and against my advice.
Friendship is over rated, especially in an age where being someone's friend is measured by how much you will allow them to put on you, while expecting nothing at all back.
Most friendships I know are the user and the used, I don't use people and I will not be used, I have more self respect.
I have a lot of acquaintances we chat, share a drink, even bond a little, but I get no closer than that.
I will do anyone a favour once, if when I ask a favour back they say no, then I am unavailable the next time too, even if I am not.
Friendship among children is easy, friendship among young people is often a cause of tension and jealousy, friendship in adults is great but you are lucky if you find only one or two good friends in your whole life and luckier still if they don't shit all over you when something “better” comes along.