I don’t think you were wrong, but being angry served no purpose.

No harm no foul. Family’s are crazy. As long as she didn’t spend a fortune on it and ruin lives then it seems like it’s a, “it is what it is,” situation.

Why are you doubting your believes?

If there's no god and no soul to save, then how could it possibly matter to him, or to you? It could no longer have bothered him and it did make her feel better. She was losing her husband forever and was worried and hurt. No harm done. Not worth your anger.

Well.. .... what she did was completely wrong, but forgivable in my eyes. I'm a very forgiving person though. What did she actually accomplish? Nothing!!

If your mother was a good person and she was a good wife and she was a good mother and he was no longer able to function and be conscious as a human being and it made her be able to cope better with the loss of her life mate... I'd let it slide

Holy shit..yeah i said that. I would be upset but at the end of the day I suppose if that's how she had to cope...he won't care or know now....and all that is for the living. I have made it very clear i want to be donated 100 percent to science. If my survivors don't comply I will never know.

She did a bad thing for what she thought was a good reason. I would forgive her. She must have cared for him.

Unless there was negative affect of the baptism, as an Atheist, this may have been annoying but in reality it was a non-event. My adult son and I (both Atheists) frequently debate whether or not religion is benign or actually has a negative effect on people but we have only debated the topic for a couple years so no final conclusion.

I wouldn't sweat it if they didn't hurt him during the baptism then they may as well have been having a birthday party or a Halloween party and you know bobbing for apples would have got him wet too. No harm no foul. You can think of it as being just for her, but religious people feel compelled to do these things for their salvation and the other person's salvation. I've never understood the idea of fearing a god who is supposed to love us but shows us very little love in actuality, based on the assumption of his existence. Enjoy the memories of your father as he was.

It would infuriate me because it is complete disregard for the person that was going through the death. It is at its core industrial. I'm sorry that happened to you and that you lost your dad.

It’s very annoying, that’s for sure! My mother in law “Baptised” my son in our bathroom sink when she was staying at our house, helping my wife, whilst I was out in the Gulf. It made her feel better, I guess, as she was horrified that we were Atheist and would never get him properly baptised at their Catholic Church.

Wow, she pulled some Mormon church level shenanigans right there. Not cool.

I think that a god so powerful and all knowing could weigh the evidence of someones life--you know, the one he designed and created and knew what was going to happen before it does--against the final act of pouring water on someones head. It is an insane thought to think that what you do in life is pointless unless you say some magic words at the last minute and thats all that is needed to pass a test.

I think his wife is and was evil. But you are correct, she did it for herself. And I think you should avoid her.

I would be angry on his behalf. As an atheist myself, I would never want that done to me.

Let it go. it was for her benefit, not his. I believe it happens quite often and has no real meaning for people like us. You know it would have meant nothing to him so don't let it be important to you.

If it made her feel better, then it caused no harm. I was brought up Mormon and did baptisms for the dead. At the time it felt right until I started thinking.

I would be very upset as it is very disrespectful and selfish of her to go against his beliefs. Even if she is right (se's not) how would baptising an Atheist save his soul? Does God accept people who have been baptised but do not believe in him?

I lost my own Father to cancer at Christmas. As he and his wife were Christians I had no problem with their mad ramblings and retuals. I didn't join in but I was present.

I would be upset because of the presumption. She knew your Dad was an atheist so she waited until he couldn't object. It is similar to the Morman practice of having baptism ceremonies for a family's dead because of the "belief" that only Mormans go to heaven. I can't say if you were too hard or not with her because I don't know the whole story.

My sister did the same thing with my father. He was as atheist as it comes, and it was no secret. She talked about how a smile came across his face as he was baptised. I think it was a grimace because he didn't have the strength to punch the guy in the face.

I think you have a right to be angry because all our emotions are valid. It is good that you can see that it was for her peace of mind, but also be aware that her lack of peace was probably, due to fear that she would never see him again, or that because she loved him the thought of him suffering after death brought her pain.
Because the whole religion thing is a delusion anyway, the ritual she went through really didnt change anything, and as I am sure others have said to you - let it go for your own and your childrens emotional welfare. As I said before your emotions are valid, it is what you do with them that is important.

It sounds like you have the right to look out for his best interests, in his time of inability to understand what's going on around him. To me, baptizing means nothing, so I don't see any harm in what happened. Still, I would have let her know what I thought and probably would have told her to get lost.

What happened with my Mother as she was getting older was her pracher pretty much conned her out of most of her and my Father's money. That wasn't a lot, mind you, but it was almost all they had. The older she got, the more she worried about what was going to happen in the afterlife, and the more she thought she needed to buy her way into heaven.

I also thought this preacher guy was pretty much a Nazi, but I digress...sigh...

I think you are correct: this was about her, not about what he needed. My cousin did some crazy stuff like this with my mom and I was very angry about it. I think you are completely justified in feeling this way. I'm a x-catholic priest, and can say with certainty, this so-called baptism has zero to do with anything. It took me years and almost a doctorate to figure this religion thing out. I now say it is important to be a loving caring compassionate person in this beautiful world. The projection of the that onto god or Jesus or the trinity, etc. is projection. Be the good in the world and with your family and friends. Just my humble opinion.

It is upsetting for her to have used your father as merely a prop for placing her bet on Pascal’s Wager. I, too get upset over these kinds of issues. I once saw a picture of a butterfly with a string attached to it, the other end of which was tied to a large rock. The caption read, “Let Stuff Go.” It’s helpful for me to bring that image to mind when I feel anger about someone’s hurtful actions.