God* not good lol oops

Yes, totally agree. Imagine a woman goes a year without talking about religiousity with her partner, assuming it’s even possible to go that long, and she loves almost everything about her significant other and loves spending time with him and they are inseparable. It’s gonna be hard for her to stop being with him just because he said he doesn’t believe in a god or gods. I could be wrong.

I agree with you in theory, Ashley. Although personally, I find it difficult to actually do that in practice, because many seemingly inconsequential, basic premises in discussion, touch on religiously charged topics. For example... Evolution as a big one. Can't talk about living things without invoking evolution!

Agree. I wait for them to ask rather than telling them.

@hanahbanana Absolutely! I've noticed that anyone with a clue will assume atheism fairly quickly once we become fairly well acquainted. If they don't, and are offended after asking, well too bad for them, I don't hide my lack of belief, don't scream it to the skys either.

Nor do believers. I mean, they don't enter a roomful of strangers and say, "Hi...! My name is Grace, and I believe in the Invisible Man, talking snake, and all sorts of weird off-the-wall shit. Nice to meet you."

It's simply something no one would do at a first meeting. I usually wait until they've noticed that babies are disappearing before I let 'em know.

@Jarucker It might work the other way - your significant other tells you after a year that they're religious! Horror!

@evidentialist - unfortunately I've had loads of people proclaim "I'm a christian!" or even worse (possibly) "I'm a catholic!" at first meetings. Time to take a sly step away.

@Gringo6 -- It's their problem then, isn't it? Until such time as they assail me with one thing or another based upon whatever it is they believe, it doesn't concern me what they believe nor what they think everyone else believes. I don't believe in anything beyond the mundane transient stuff we use to maintain a degree of sanity, so I could care less.

I can’t speak for Ashley, but when I am asked to pray I start with silence like meditation. Then I say the things I hope for the group (I always mention cultivating critical thinking)
Then end with something like “with these good intentions let us move onto dinner” or the meeting or what ever activity I am asked to pray for so people know it is done without the Amen.
No mention of God etc.
People generally stop asking you to pray because it is so weird to them. Kind of gives them an insight into how non-believers feel at a prayer though they may not make that jump.

If people ask about it you can say you subscribe to separation of church and state in your life. Or you feel it’s rude to proselytize your believes outside of your personal time and that’s why you didn’t mention God. This is more of a move to plant the seed that it can be construed as rude to ask people to pray religiously at a public function. That you think of it as rude. Maybe a minority might change their behavior.

@Stevil

@Myah i love this! Thank you!

@Jarucker American Atheists have two documented cases of married Atheists for DECADES pretending to each other to be religious. ...separate postal boxes to receive American Atheist membership mail. ...when both took separate vacations they lied to each other for separate destinations AND MET AT AMERICAN ATHEIST NATIONAL CONVENTIONS instead UN-intentionally. ....one couple expressed joy to end their separate secret lives THE OTHER RESENTMENT OVER THE LIES assuming sexual affairs were also afoot. ...THE DEPTHS OF THE CLOSET ARE FOOLISH fearsome and presumes the worst when honesty is the best policy

I agree with Ashley, once people know you as a moral person who is not sacrificing small children and animals on an altar to the devil they relax. besides it is a good opener to point out we don't worship the devil either!

I generally follow this approach and avoid religion or politics before getting to know someone. However, it is not unusual for me to be asked within the first hour of meeting some about my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

@Stevil Maybe we should have some sort of form of words to say if we are asked to say grace, like 'We are thankful that we have food before us today, when many others lack it, and we are grateful to those who prepared it for us.'

@ you can do everything right and make one mistake and she'll never let you forget it that's all she'll talk about about everything that you've done wrong that's what happened to me never anything I did what was right

@hanahbanana but they never ask. People just make the assumption that you/me are religious. At least in my experience.

I agree. I also try to make it funny if the subject comes up like "don't crucify me, but..."

I like to start with ”Dear Satan".

@Myah I sometimes pray simlar to you. I quite often do end with the traditional amen, which is just 'so be it' in Hebrew/Arabic. Sometimes Ill just say So be it in English or for variety end with the Pagan/Wiccan So Mote it be.

@GreenAtheist A friend asked his wife if she would be interested in attending Kansas City Oasis sometime, and after reading about it she asked 'Why would I want spend time with Atheists?" His reply was 'You've been married one for decades." Her snide remark hurt him, but she did agree volunteer with out group when we go a ministry 1x a month. Afterward we went out for dinner and drinks, so when she mentioned liking some of us, he dropped another A bomb on her She had assumed the likeable among us were Christian!

@bigfeetmn me too. That’s the hardest part. They just think you’re religious and so then you’re left feeling like, do I bring it up? How do I approach this now?

@GreenAtheist I told my believing wife soon after I "woke up". I was scared but it worked out. But I don't think I'll be telling anyone else for a while. Better to remain quiet than have the church knocking on my door everyday trying to convince me god is real.

@Snake91 yes choose your little battles well in manageable little bites....your loving bride can slowly let go of alleged gawds like our Saturday Night Live hero JUST PAT and all her good works humorously retelling how Catholic parents, hysterectomy a brother's cancer all failed the basic common sense of Atheism admitting the popes and bible gawds never answer prEyers

@CeliaVL exactly the words I've been looking for!

I wanted to comment, just didn't know how to put it in words. YOU NAILED IT! Thank you!

Yes, you nailed it!!! The moment you tell somebody that is religious that you are an atheist, they must likely turn around and won't talk to you anymore.

Said I was atheist, was asked why I worship satan.

I am so sorry. I would never have thought that personal safety would be an issue. Then again I am a large guy and have been told I'm very intimidating, so not much of an issue for me. But to fear for your kids? I've been down that road but never because of religion That sucks.

I totally disagree with you I think you should get good Christian like me!! I'll talk to my imaginary friend and maybe he or she could help you out!! I'm just kidding I've had terrible experiences in every aspect of my life including Christians there are some who do the walking instead of talking but where in the hell are they!?

That is my reply (I'm not religious) to some of my extremely religious relatives. I have known them most of my life - before I was an atheist - value them, know they won't change, and know they don't have long to live.

I agree completely. Saying that you don't believe something is quite different than saying you believe the polar opposite of something. That is an incendiary comment for some 'devout' folks, even though their religion would ask for their patience and acceptance.

Just had two stop by to take a survey on spirituality from a nearby church. Simply told them my spirituality is none of their church's business.

Waterwolfie! Yes ! Exactly. They'll go on and on about their "walk with the lord and other holy crap ! I don't want to be rude or mean. Why do they think its ok to drool their beliefs all over me? It's qawdawful !!!

I need to tell you about my religion if you don't believe what I believe you go to hell!! I better tell you that I'm a hypocrite I enjoy this shit it's fun keep my mind off life

Hahhha! Great story

It that situation, I would tell the cab driver that he is only responsible for getting me to my current destination. When I go to hell i will probably take the bus or fly. Anything that gets him to shut up about his ignorance would be fine by me if it works. Sometimes they think about your words and your smile and come around. Sometimes.

@prof_braino That's a great response - I'll use it!

Wow, you are brave. If I were alone in a cab with a super religious person, I would never admit to being an atheist. Too many fanatics in this world to take that chance.

The extreme emotional investment is frightening, even when seemingly directed in a benevolent manner. Makes you wonder when that fanaticism might suddenly turn the other way.

When you answered that guy when you said awesome that made me laugh I don't understand these religious people I totally enjoy having all of you all to relate with I used to try to believe that there is an imaginary friend that would watch over me and protect me I was very conflicted about my beliefs about some kind of a imaginary friend that will help the poor bastard but I found out that lies by the way to go because in many cases honesty is a felony

I like this as it reminds me of saying "non-denominational" so that they enquirer may double-take at the reply.

lolz Ronald

It's my favourite, I've used it many times.

PERFECT.!!! Thank you !

When they ask me to say a meal prayer. I say over the lips, over the gums, look out stomach here it comes! They stop asking me!

@Jmjmis321 I've never been asked to do so, but I'll keep this one for if I ever do!

If i happen to be in a "mischievous" mod, I tell them I am a Pastafarin, with no explanation.
If they push the subject and I want to "rattle their cage" I go into detail about the FSM.

@GoldenDoll
My mother-in-law was raised in a Masonic orphanage. She said some of the boys changed the "god is great" prayer to "Gravy is great, gravy is good, we will eat gravy til we are dead".

If you pay me well I can tell you how to have a lot of friends or did you want me to tell you that for free or maybe send the bill to you you have to have the qualities of a Charming cheerful chickenshit just kidding I wish I had those qualities to play these peoples games

You and I are the same. I could give a rat's ass what someone thinks of me. I do not feel I have to explain my belief system. If someone presses me on dogmatic religion too much, I tell them, I go to church everyday, I commune outside, step into mother nature's planet. I see perfection everywhere from a blue jay to a red maple tree, to a magical butterfly, I feel the power of a higher presence.

I'm glad you didn't spell that nasty word the right way because I have very sensibilities and it hurts my eyes to read those four letter words!! This shit's fun!

I’m with you. If it comes up for whatever reason in a conversation. If that doesn’t work I’ll look them in the eye and in a calm and slow manner say, “I don’t believe in your God.” Then I usually get, “He believes in you.” To which my best response is a big grin, a thumbs up, and comment a simple, “Awesome!”

And he's probably so traumatised by events that he fails to connect the fact that though god save him, he let an awful lot of other innocent people die horrific deaths.

That was really good the way I look at it if God is good why all the atrocities and Hate the greed the deception I don't see anything related to love in that I believe in a creator more or less the indigenous way of life but I sure as hell don't believe there is a loving God I think maybe you said that we have to have self confidence and like ourselves I have a hard time with those things because I don't hear see things right get things mixed up easily

Guess I don't have enough points to actually write a response yet. That's too bad because I've read a few of your posts. Let;s see if this one goes through.

HAHA! Zany

You have a very important job!

That was awesomely put...

pardon, mam, but I can't help but say "God bless you!" ha-haaaah ! ! !

I think that you have the best approach. I respect people who can approach believers who you disagree with and treat them the same way you do with someone you agree with.

I have found the same. Practicing kindness, compassion, generosity, etc., is both the right thing to do for our fellow human beings and it seriously gives folks pause who have been taught that the godless are wicked. When they discover that that isn't the case - by finding out that someone who is obviously kind-hearted isn't a theist at all - well, that undermines the bigotry against us and may sometimes get some people thinking even more broadly about whether the Christian stories make sense.

I lost my Mom 10 years ago, she too was a devout believer, there came a point when there was nothing left to do but to humor her and relieve her stress. I attended church with her once or twice. it made her happy.
I never spoke to her about my skepticism and spoke to her in her Christianese language. I held her hand when she was passing and I told her to greet my dad and siblings for me, and she passed away peacefully.
Sometimes love and compassion just calls for humoring people and meeting them on their own level.

My mother too was devout and nagged me relentlessly about believing! Going to church was mind numbingly boring! To much hypocrisy for me! Went to church a few times from guilt but watched as it was more important for her lady friends to see me there than any benefit for me. My biggest realization was, I’m the only one that can make me feel guilty so........thankfully I stopped going to churh

@Donna. Yes that last sentence is what I believe too.

Agree. But I couldn't do that at work, it might hurt my career. People are very conservative here.

@towkneed Sorry to hear that. This is where America and any other place doing the same has gone wrong. Freedom to practice your religion of choice should be accompanied by freedom not to be coerced and oppressed into behavior by any religion. I would use the word intolerant instead of conservative.

some of us actually are card carrying members of the Humanist Association. It's worth examining their position.

@Flettie OF COURSE! You'd be doing them a favor!

Good idea, but some need a direct answer. I have family, who after 40 years of rejecting their views still did not recognize my views. In that case I just had to tell them I was a step thing Agnostic. It worked, and they never bring it up again.

@Carolina You don't suppose they think you're in a CULT?

I'm with you, 2much....times ARE changing, atheist ARE ''coming out" in huge numbers and there are many resources open to us...THIS one, for example! I'm sorry your co-workers give you the figurative ''fish eye,'' but stand up & smile! TELL THEM ABOUT THE MARCHES! Smile some more. (I'll bet you could find some like-minded groups of people online. Have you tried?)

That's my experience at work. That's why I tell them I'm Jewish.

This is so beyond my experience. Nobody, well, the vast majority, talks about religion over here, let alone expects to, or makes assumptions about others. And no-one ever asks. I can sit in the pub with a few mates and we can roundly take the piss out of all things religious, and no-one bats an eyelid. Even in Ireland, I can take the piss out of the church (Catholic) and priests, and get nothing more than sage nods, or even people joining in!

I really feel for you, and the rest of you, having to bite your tongues, and generally slink around, socially. The land of the free? Hmmmm!