When I have people come to my door and ask me if I believe in Jesus, I say, "Yes, historically." Usually they do not take offense, yet they understand that I do not "believe."

Gently with a smile.

Hi Polly - So what keeps you in a place you are not comfortable about showing who you really are?

Regardless of how long I've known someone, my view of them goes down when I find out they have a faith based hamster on a wheel going on in their head.

I've tended to avoid declaring it initially. Bad experience with judgmental prostelyzation. I do understand the inclination though. I figure I need them to know me a little typically before I divulge.

I say - "I'm an atheist" Or I'll say I playing for the other team - that confuses people though.

It depends on if the subject comes up. I don't usually bring it up with someone until I know them quite well. Some of my best friends and my wife are religious. On the other had, I went to a class reunion and a classmates spouse started "witnessing" to me. He started to tell me about being "saved" and I interrupted him with "That's too bad."

They usually guess when I tell them to fuck off with that bullshit.

I don't unless they ask me. I am an open book for the most part. Being an atheist is not some aspect for me to have to make known to define myself. What is important to me is that I treat people on principle, and how I relate to them with how they treat others. Atheism has near zero to do with how I interact with people, unless it is a topic of relevance to a particular type of relationship. For example, to love another I don't need atheism, I just feel that from interactions. The emotion are real things. Atheism has only one thing to do with me, that is the fact that I hold no beliefs in systems of otherworldly beings, spirits, etc, nothing more.

yes! there isnt any simpler way!

It's rare that I find it necessary to be part of a religious discussion. If necessary I just say, "I'm not religious." If someone wants to push my buttons, asking them to grow up usually works or there's an old saw, "Everyone has the right to find their own way to Hell."

I tell them I'm Jewish. They feel sorry for me because I don't know Jesus. If I told them I'm an atheist, they would not come near me.

Never be ashamed to be free-thinking, Thomas Jefferson was an atheist. I imagine more were also trying to limit the religious control that we were suffering in Europe. It is also worth remembering you are probably sat in a room with many atheists or at least many people who have lost faith (I hate saying that it implies blind faith is a good thing) in organised religion.
Being British I feel free to say I do not believe in the fanciful, but (and that is not me bragging we have our own problems) I would recommend outsmarting them. Don't jump straight in with it, talk about the cosmos, atoms, the vastness of time and space, get them to try to look clever about science (they will), then bring up the fact that given all of this does the fact there is a god (who looks like Thor) not seem daft?
Simply then say you struggle with the concept.
Or on the other hand just tell them, why should we live in a world where idiocy rules and we feel it is unfair to point out the emporer is in fact naked!
Don't worry what is the worst that can happen you don't have to speak to idiots again? Will you really miss them?

I use, "I'm a total atheist" with a shrug and a smile. If they give me examples of why I'm wrong, I say, "I'm glad that works for you. All of what you're saying is meaningless to me." Etc.

I really don't like wasting time "arguing" over religion or whether or not the earth is flat.

I politely tell them, I don't believe in a God or God's. It seems to work out well.

I, too, lived in a Bible belt for a while. Not too far from it now either though... When someone asks me to go to their church, or religious beliefs come up in any way shape or form, or if I am directly asked, I always say it out loud and clear. When conversation has nothing to do with religion, and I am surrounded by new people, I don't see any reasons to bring it up, unless someone goes there and begins the holy steamroll, that's when I jump in

When asked my denomination, I respond, Nondelusional.

Nice to meet you brother! Praise the Lord! So you are a Christian? Yes, that's wonderful! I pretend that I'm a Christian but really I'm an atheist. Why do I do it? Just to suss them out and bag on them. Aaaahahahaha! fun, right????? No, but really, you're not really a Believer are you? It's not like I'm going to crucify you if you are... I just think it's funny, but it's all good. But seriously your wife is your property, right? Can I like rent her? I like to just continue until I see tears.....

I also live in the south. they call it" the bible belt"I just told a few of my friends n relatives. one of them a religious fanatic but sweet as can be, we are still talking we agree to disagree.

You say “there is no god” and look at the horror/revulsion on their faces.

Usually, I just get told “merry Xmas” and I say “I don’t celebrate Xmas”. They usually assume I’m Jewish or Muslim. Which, here, is probably worse than being atheist.

I am at that point in my life that I don't care how believers view me. I am thus quite open with a bit of my sarcasm included. I tell them that I have matured past the point of believing in imaginary characters.

I say quite loudly, "I am a heretic", I was raised as a Christian but chose to believe in reality instead. The word "Heretic" seems to really throw people.

I just tell them that I don't want to be associated with what now commonly passes for Christianity.

Tell them directly and unequivocally I am an atheist or I am a non-believer.

I have no problem saying I’m an atheist. If they don’t ever meet any of us, they will continue to think we are very few. Plus they need to see that we are in fact nice and normal people. Just a little more intelligent than they are. But it’s not their fault,