Best way to get rid of jehova's witnesses is tell them you are an apostate. (Meaning that you used to be a jehova's witness but left)

They will not only immediately leave, but will also let everyone at their local kingdom hall that you are an appostate. They will all steer clear of you, as their church pretty much teaches apostates are under the direct control of satan.

I politely tell them I'm not religious. If they become pushy, I become aggressive. I don't care what their views are, but I refuse to have it shoved down my throat.

My town passed a law a few years back, blocking them from going door to door. Their solution was to bring a small child with them, as if "no one will call the cops if we have a kid with us". Personally, I just tell them I'm busy with real life issues and close the door.

I touch them a lot and tell them I’m a pagan. I’m not a pagan but it scares them away. Especially if you have your arm around him and always bring it into their ear

Marry a JW. Just make sure it’s one that’s not practicing. LOL! Hubs definitely does not practice. He could rightfully be disfellowshipped, however, nobody in his family’s hall knows all the atrocities he commits daily. Ha!

I tell them NEVER to come to my house I don't believe in that crap, I am an Atheist and I don't come to YOUR house and sell you my Atheist crap. All the while letting my dogs bark at them and then I slam the door. It's a one time deal...

You could try shouting out 3 times before you open the door, " Allah U Ahkbah," I tried it ages ago and they left a dust cloud behind them as they swiftly retreated.
Another one that works is to open the door then shout over your shoulder, " The meat for dinner has just arrived my Love, get the pot boiling please."

Another fun game to play with them is to just tell them about your religion and just keep talking and making shit up..and tell them. Their religion sucks and you won't join it...

My made up religion is Carmenism... Obviously our God is the super hot large breastwd Carmen Elecktra

I also throw in random stupidity from other religions.. Like the flying spaghetti monster religion and scientology.. I talk about our God Carmen feeding us spaghetti off her body on the 747s that came from space with the space rock and Clark Kent's stone.. I literally just ramble... While pounding a beer or two...

To be honest it's more work and effort then just slamming the door in their face... But the look of pure fucking terror is just Soooooo damn priceless..

Greet them at the door whilst naked and invite them in for cookies...

Quickly take off my clothes and answer the door naked with a stiffy.

Shamelessly hide and pretend I'm not home

Have you ever tried slamming the door in their faces and calling the cops.

I put a sign on my door ~ “No solicitation and No Jehovah’s Witnesses or Other Church People.” Haven’t been bothered since

I told 2 men at my door once that they could just sacrifice a goat for me. One of the men said very seriously "that doesn't work any more."

Tell them you have a goat inside that you're about to sacrifice. Extra fun if you're holding a ceremonial blade and wearing black robes.

Last interaction I had. I started talking about the books of the bible that were left out after the council of nicea. After discussing all that junk, they did not return.

I say, “No thanks. I’m happy with my religion.”

I don't answer the door to anyone I'm not expecting. ?

Just tell them you are aware of their views and are absolutely not interested in discussing it with them, then ask them politely to please put you on the 'DO NOT CALL' list that all kingdom halls have. If they come back then tell them you are on the DO NOT CALL list and then follow up with a call to the elders at the kingdom hall, you will never see them again.

Answer the door naked.

I'm thinking of putting a do not solicit sign on my door- not sure if that will work?

I have a sign on my porch that says... Unhinged asshole with gun... Those selling anything besides alcohol will be shot.. I dare you to ring the bell

The Mormon missionaries do anyhow.. For them I go full force.. I open the door in my boxers.. With a can of beer and can of Rockstar in each hand. I usually say in the creepiest voice I can come up. With. What's up ladies... Lets do some day drinking and debauchery in Jesus's name motherfuckers... Yeah they run pretty quick while throwing pamphlets at me..

They usually don't come back after that

There are a few that either see through my bullshit or really think they can help me..

Once you start showing up to the door naked.. They finally concede

I have cute homemade no solicitations sign that includes no preaching. This keeps most of them away. Every once in a while, someone still knocks. I just point at the sign. If that doesnt work, I ask them if they can read. That has always turned them around.

I also politely tell them that before they start, I don't believe in religion and fortunately, they have wished me a nice day and left. I recently put a No Solicitation sign next to my door which seems to be helping.