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Fear of Death?

Bluntly, I fear death. Knowing there isn't an afterlife absolutely terrifies me. I actually have panic attacks because of this. Does anyone else have such issues and have you found anything to help ease the thought?

ClintF 5 July 14
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1

From the great Jim Jeffries. 'I don't fear death because I'm an Atheist, I know I'll just rot in the ground. in fact I won't even know I'm dead, you want to know why, because I'll be fucking dead.

6

It’s the opposite for me. As a Christian I feared death because I was always afraid I didn’t do enough to please god and was afraid of hell. Now that I’m an atheist I don’t fear death because I know that it will be the same as before I was born. I will no longer exist in a mindful form so I’m not afraid of something I won’t be conscious of. It will suck for the people who I leave behind and I hope it’s not painful but other than that I’m not afraid of it.

5

I have been fighting lung cancer for 5 years now. I only fear suffering.

craige Level 4 July 15, 2018

😟

4

I think your fear makes sense because you're imagining it with a conscious mind. Your terror is based on a feeling that you won't actually be unconscious when you're dead.

It's hard to imagine.

If you've ever been sedated for a surgical procedure or have awakened from sleep, recalling nothing, death is the same, but permanent. It's only because you reawakened that you can have the experience of fear.

Matt Dillahunty has mentioned many times how death is the same as pre-birth. No consciousness.

Athena Level 8 July 14, 2018

Thats a really good summary! I don't remember coming out of a coma, I just remember being in hospital and knew the basics of why I was there, but didn't remember how I knew that. The best way I've ever been able to describe it is similar to after you're born. You don't remember it, you're just aware it happened in the past and mentally accept it. The brain shields you from the details.

4

Sorry I can't help you. Personally, I find the knowledge that death is
inevitable and there is no "afterlife", extremely comforting.
I think a lot of the reason for that is I am simply freakin' exhausted.
I truly hope you can find a way to overcome this, so you don't waste what
time you do have worrying about that which you cannot control.
The only suggestion I have is therapy.

I find the knowledge that death is inevitable and there is no "afterlife", extremely comforting.” ...just bared repeating 🙂 (great advice, too)

@Varn Thanks, Varn. 😉

@ClintF I truly hope it helps. Good luck to you!

3

I do not fear death any longer once I realized that this is not the end of my journey, just my journey here, at this time....and I say this in the most un-religious way. Our planet is but a rock on the beach of a vast cosmos and we are one of billions of people on this one tiny tiny planet.
It helps that most of my 'bucket list' so to speak have been done and the some, so spend less time worrying and more time doing stuff!! I say these things with love and compassion...

Well said my friend.

Beautiful!

3

Spring! Just watch all the plants that died last fall awaken & live again. Note the energy, strength, tenacious determination of the plant breaking through concrete & blacktop. That essence we share with all living things does not end/disappear when our body shell quits. I don't know how it will be after death but I'm positive my essence (not consciousness) will continue. My body/shell will nurture a tree after burial in a pod. (Google it.) Be easy in your mind and remember today is much more important than yesterday or tomorrow. Live it.

3

I actually have several thoughts on the subject, but I don't know helpful you may find them.

  • Death is just like the time before birth; there's no consciousness of it.

  • I would rather pass into oblivion than spend an eternity praising an egotistical megalomaniac.

  • I would not be happy in the afterlife of fairy tales, knowing that people I love are suffering for all eternity.

-Death is natural and inevitable, don't let it keep you from living your life to the fullest before it can no longer be avoided.

-If all else fails, you may want to try counselling.

JimG Level 8 July 14, 2018
3

Why would ceasing to exist terrify you? That's what I don't get. Hanging around getting an increasing number of aches and pains, watching everybody you care about drop of the perch, now that is terrifying. Once I'm dead I don't even care if everybody forgets I ever existed, prefer them not to do that while I'm still alive. As long as the getting there is quick and clean I haven't got a problem with the concept, I've achieved things, lived well and stopped to smell the flowers, like a chance to do more but if it goes the other way c'est la guerre.

Kimba Level 7 July 14, 2018

@ClintF My late prior wife did not fear death itself, but the notion that eventually (and not very eventually, either) no one would remember her. Because of her illness and disability, the only people who had really participated in her life for many years were me, and her elderly mother / stepfather and an uncle / aunt. And indeed, 11 years after her death, two of those five people are already themselves dead. Soon, I will be the only one honoring her memory, and I'm 61 and nursing an aortic aneurism.

But when you stop to think of this, it really just reflected, with all due respect to my wife, an egotistical demand to be more important than she actually was. And I think at the end she realized she had been clinging to a very painful, disease-laden life out of a pointless desire to continue to be cared about, to make a greater impact than she was able to make ... and, as it turned out, to underestimate the impact she HAD made, because lots of people came to her funeral who hadn't seen her in decades, and spoke of the positive influence she'd had on their lives. It was, in fact, a life well-lived, if only she'd been content with its actual scope and weren't trying to expand that scope into something it just wasn't.

When you think of it, it's not realistic or necessary for anyone to expect to be remembered forever. A very, VERY few people persist in society's collective consciousness for a few generations, and get to have a statue in the town square commemorating their exploits. But that's just something for the pigeons to crap on, and after a few hundred years, even those people fade into murky legend.

Most of us ordinary schmucks are little remembered a scant decade after we're gone, and you know what? That's perfectly okay. It doesn't reflect failure or inadequacy or some other defect. It simply reflects that you had your small part and that part is finite. Big deal. You played the role, that's what matters.

3

Time, age, and some seemingly worthwhile accomplishments.. You sound like one of my daughters, I get it. But wait till life’s worked you over a bit more. I’m no longer afraid of death, at times, I even feel ready. But no hurry.

Varn Level 8 July 14, 2018
2

I do not fear death.
I use to, but not anymore.
"If you wish to understand the Universe, think of energy, frequency and vibration"
-Nikola Tesla
We all vibrate, have frequency and are energy.
"Energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another."
-Law of thermodynamics by Clausius and Thomson (Kelvin)

2

Nope. Maybe I will on my last day, but it just doesn't have meaning to me today. The idea of getting another shot at it (or this being my hundredth shot at it) seems irrelevant since there seems no bridge between any of them.

2

I don't fear being dead because, well, I'd be dead and there's nothing. I fear dying, more. Like, the process of dying. It's not really a fear as much as it can potentially be very uncomfortable. I JUST had this conversation with someone yesterday. She fears not being "here" anymore. It seems to me like such a waste of time to have that fear. Maybe I just didn't or don't understand it. We're going to die at some point, then we're gone. It seems such an odd thing to actually fear being gone....?

2

You are wasting your LIFE & precious time worrying about something you cannot control. See someone!
P.S. I have died 2x, and it is no biggie at all.........painfree, worry free, no memories just peaceful & quiet. Returning was hard!

you didnt really die cause you are still here.. your heart may have stopped

@squiggy_70 no i really died.....medical people just never give up

@AnneWimsey for how long? your heart stopped. then what happened?

@squiggy there is no time as soon as you die...not long, I suppose. I did suffer some brain damage from the stroke plus death, but have fought my way back from most of it. I was fully aware that I was having a stroke & observing my functions, like speech & movement, slipping away and it was Scary. Suddenly I was sort of "floating" in a quiet, calm, deeply-colored (purple-ish? If I had to pick a color) space with no pain, no fear, no disability, and looking forward eagerly to....something...but with no urgency!
Loved it, very happy there. Suddenly whap! Back in hospital bed, drips, etc. hooked up, speech drool-y, incredible pain in neck, fear nystagmus, brain "scrambled" etc etc., not myself to say the least. 3 weeks on an air bed with head held in place with sandbags and a catheter. Prognosis poor. Longed to go back "there" with every fiber of my being, the knowledge of that place comforted me big-time. I turned 39 in that bed.

2

Fear all you want, it won't change anything

2

I'm afraid even of losing small things. How much more must I fear losing EVERYTHING?
Yes, it troubles me.

Gareth Level 7 July 15, 2018

me too.

2

I don't fancy the act of dying, and I feel a little sad when I consider that one day I'll have to quit. But I can separate my mind from the fact there's an end to the story and just enjoy turning the pages and seeing what happens.

There's a saying isn't there — cross that bridge when you come to it.

2

It's the opposite for me - I don't fear death because I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't want to die because I want to know how it all ends and what happens on the way there. But I'm not afraid of it. I just think of it as going to sleep and, hopefully, that's how it goes down. The only thing I would be afraid of is having a painful, torturous death.

2

It does not seem possible or desirable for an individual person to live forever. I think that our identity as a separate entity is only an illusion. The only thing supporting that illusion is memory, and memories fade eventually. There is nothing about our bodies worthy of immortality—our bodies are just robots IMO. Whenever you experience self-awareness, free will, love, creativity, appreciation, or gratitude, it is a higher self that is having that experience. Think deeply about this and you might see that it’s more than woo.

I lean toward the concept of a universal consciousness in which we all share. A sense of time arises from conscious awareness. Universal consciousness is immortal by default, so as extensions of that consciousness we are immortal also, just not as separate individuals. We are not, and never were our bodies. We are consciousness itself.

Cognitive scientist Donald Hoffman has developed what he calls “Conscious Realism”, which offers ideas about the nature of reality and the role of consciousness.

Consider reading The Bhagavad Gita and the Upanishads.

There is nothing to fear.

2

A little Buddhist philosophy

Kisa Gautami was a young woman from a wealthy family who was happily married to an important merchant. When her only son was one-year-old, he fell ill and died suddenly. Kisa Gautami was struck with grief, she could not bare the death of her only child. Weeping and groaning, she took her dead baby in her arms and went from house to house begging all the people in the town for news of a way to bring her son back to life.

Of course, nobody could help her but Kisa Gautami would not give up. Finally she came across a Buddhist who advised her to go and see the Buddha himself.

When she carried the dead child to the Buddha and told Him her sad story, He listened with patience and compassion, and then said to her, "Kisa Gautami, there is only one way to solve your problem. Go and find me four or five mustard seeds from any family in which there has never been a death."

Kisa Gautami was filled with hope, and set off straight away to find such a household. But very soon she discovered that every family she visited had experienced the death of one person or another. At last, she understood what the Buddha had wanted her to find out for herself — that suffering is a part of life, and death comes to us all. Once Kisa Guatami accepted the fact that death is inevitable, she could stop her grieving. She took the child's body away and later returned to the Buddha to become one of His followers.

Interesting outlook? Death comes to all of us, we all have the same path. Two weeks ago I celebrated my "rebirth". No, not born again...but brought back to life. I had a sudden cardiac arrest last year and luckily for me my co-workers knew mouth to mouth, CPR and how to use an AED. When it happened there was no tunnel, no white light. There was nothing, but it's hard to explain but it was a peaceful nothing. Not scary. Death comes to all of us, it's indiscriminate. Don't seek it, but don't fear it, just acknowledge that someday it will happen.

Same here 18 months ago. I'll put a separate reply in but yes it alleviates all those fears.

2

No fear of death. I didn’t seem to mind the billions of years I didn’t exist before I did. I don’t see how I will mind after. I do fear dying and hope it will be quick and relatively painless.

2

Quite the opposite. I take comfort in knowing that one day I will cease to be and my energy will be recycled back into the life cycle.

1

More about the how.

1

Life is more painful than death.

Don71 Level 5 July 17, 2018

agreed, yet some people live a pretty pain free life and die a horrible painful death....

Pain and suffering is a way to appreciate life and grow as a being.
You cannot have pain without pleasure, two sides of the same coin.
Yang-Yin
Day night
Black white
Light dark
Hot cold
Etc.

1

"For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow"
-Eric Idle

@ClintF Absolutely! Until you KNOW different, ain't much you can do, is there?

1

Just like @Dougl35534 I survived a cardiac arrest recently. Take it from us two and countless others, dieing isn't something to fear. When it happens you know nothing about it, and any other concerns, well like it or not they're not our concerns any more. It's easy, no bright lights or angels, no suffering, it's just a switch being flicked. There's plenty more relevant stuff to worry about while were still here!

Salo Level 7 July 14, 2018

One thing I learned is worry about the here and now but don't let it consume you. Try to make your life and the life of those around you better. We are all the same, don't get caught up in the tribalism, there is only one tribe and that the tribe of mankind.

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