If I was god, what would I do?

I would give a big, open 'Goodbye speech' in which I undeniably stated that I, as god, was retiring from all 'divine duties', that no further prayers were going to be listened to, that heaven and hell were shutting down and when you die you will be dead, that the definition of morallity is 'make life more satisfying and enjoyable for your fellow inhabitants of Earth' and the definition of imorality is 'acting in a way that causes harm or distress to your fellow inhabitants of Earth' (ie the 'two commandments' to replace the ten) ... and then, speech over, I'd sod off and never appear or do anything - other than keep reminding people I'd retired, by sending regular 'enjoying my retirement' postcards.

Resign.

I'd be filled with intense remorse for the things I had done in the past. I would also be overwhelmed with the responsibility put upon me.

I think I'd likely chastise the believers for their extremes (where they may have existed), and tell the non-believers that I can understand their skepticism. I'd also feel that, with all the suffering I'd allowed into the world, I had some very basic explaining to do.

But ultimately, I'd want to welcome all my children home, whether they felt I'd abandoned them or not. That kind of omnipotent love should be unconditional. And any intelligent God should be able to understand the reasoning's of the non-believers.

I think, in the end, I might be a little more put off with the believers for pushing and judging and belittling others, when that is the last thing they are supposed to do.

This is only the orthodox Christian view of god,heaven and hell.Ther e are so many other views.

According to gnostic belief,this is his kingdom,here on earth,right now,this is the "Whoppee" as Alan Watts calls it,(a Zen Bhuddist). There is no afterlife and so no heaven and hell in this view,living non believers just don't believe and believers do,we are already here, it is all happening right now.

In that narrow definition of gawd, I'd just off myself.

I will be acknowledging an almighty failure. What you do with the failed tirants?

That makes sense. Now, what would you do with all the murderers, abusers, torturers, and child molesters? Do they come with us or would you have a special place for them? What about the criminals that have mental/brain disorders? What about the criminals who were abused as children? What about soldiers in wartime and politicians?

Decisions, decisions...what do we do with all of them? Maybe Satan won't get that break after all.

I find it impossible to answer or even think about questions that have an impossible or contradictory premise. It is equivalent to asking: if "2+2 was 5 what would 3+3 be?"
But I think it would be interesting for an almighty, eternal, all-knowing god to try and figure out how to commit suicide to end the immense boredom such a being must surely endure.

Given all powerful, the best thing he or she could do would be to care.

Drink a beer, sigh dramatically, hit the reset button, and hope I get it right this time.

Maybe skip all the slavery, Dark Ages, and bigotry, and hatred.

Maybe skip the whole 5 Finger Death Punch phaze.

Those guys are Nickleback for guys who are too "metal" and have too many barbed wire and tribal dragon tattoos to admit they like Nickleback.

And disco. Can we skip that, too?

I would leave everything the fuck alone. No one gets their prayers answered. Heaven? Pffft.They all can be unmade. If I'm God, no way am I elevating these people to my plane of existence.

pkill -9 universe

Send a flood. It worked so well the first time.

Why not surprise them and turn them into believers and send them to heaven. After all he is the great and powerful man behind the curtain.

I'd take a leaf from Descartes' works, admit that I didn't think and instantly disappear

If I were god, I wouldn't take attendance. The good people get heaven, the bad people get hell regardless of if they believed in me or not. Why would I care about that? After all, I'm god. I'd reflect on my failure, fix things if I could, and quit.

At first I thought this was a ridiculous question. However, the thought experiment gave me some insight on how religious people think. The idea that, if there were a god, that god would care if people believed in them or not and consequently how that impacts believers behavior implied in your post. Organized religion is irrational.

Nonsensical question.

Hand things over to a democracy.

I would rather talk about science and facts as we know them. I lived a fairy tale religion all my life and am totally tired of all the pretending and make believe. Sorry!

If I was God, I would give par of my (infinite) godly time to everyone, to carefully debrief their lives, what was right and what was wrong, what is there to be improved, and if they have reached perfection - allow them to pass beyond and join the team of God-like spirits, if they haven't reached that level yet or do not want to pass at this moment - would allow them to go back to Earth for another run (life) or rest a bit before this.
My vision does not provide the existence of hell.

I would put all those who die, believers or otherwise, back into another vessel and put them on another planet. Earth would be just one of many that could support life.

take away the greed and aggression genes

Don't make humans in the first place. they made the first fuck up and have been doing so ever since and the rest of nature would do so much better and doesn't give a shit about religion. I could just kick back and watch and not have to do anything.

Apologise !