I love it!!! My mother was a witness and my older brother was a born again. If I have the time, I engage them and counterpoint every word they say.

I am an atheist please come in and I will tell you why your faith is untrue and without reason or logic.

One time, I had a couple of Witnesses show up to my place. One of my roommates invited them in just to be friendly. Five minutes later there was another knock at the door. It was a young girl selling magazines. My roomates and I quickly invited her in, and then conspired to slowly excuse ourselves from the room one-by-one. So we left the three door knockers there talking to each other until they decided it had become awkward enough to leave.

I would like to thank everyone who has posted to this thread of thought. It has provided me with time to laugh, it has also showed me that I am not as creative as I would like to be. Thanks!

Although 'door knockers' are blind to the principle, they nevertheless demonstrate lack of respect for the validity of others' beliefs with the assumption that whatever those beliefs might be, that they are automatically inferior to the theology they propagate. If you don't accept the notion that your 'message' or system of belief HAS TO BE superior to any and all others you encounter at various doors, why are you even there? Hostile reactions to door knocking, I believe, are motivated by the fundamental insult that 'you need to get right' and we're here to correct you. When time permits, I enjoy their visits because of being able to play in 'their ballpark'. They are usually unaccustomed to encounters with people familiar with the Bible and history surrounding what it contains. Most often when they decide it's time to leave they approach the door in backwards fashion, grinning and promising to send 'the big guns' (elders) who they believe to be better equipped to deal with my reasoning. It can be great sport!

I've had a few and it depends on who they are. The last was a couple of old church ladies bringing bibles from across the street (I live across the street from one of the dozens of churches in town) I politely invited them in, smiled, and explained that I am not a superstitionalist and place no value on religion because I care to much about truth and being able to distinguish between what is real (supported by facts) and things that are not testable and can not be demonstrated to be honest or true. I then explained that because all religions are based on faith (belief without evidence asserted as truth to accept any faith based claim as demonstrable truth would be dishonest and I value truth and honesty more then any desire to join a group that distorts the definition of "Truth" to include silly things a person wishes to believe without any supporting evidence to demonstrate any value of truth. I then politely and kindly sited a few atrocities their bible endorses including Jephthah killing and burning his daughter so god can enjoy the smell of her burning flesh, how their bible commands them to kill me (Exodus 22:19 NAB) etc. I ended their failed attempt to have me join their church by noting, "You are both clearly nice and good people and you really don't want to talk about your bible because I've read it several times and could spend hours pointing out contradictions and atrocities in your bible. You seam happy with your belief structure and I really don't want to take your happiness away. I thanked them for coming over and they thanked me for my time.

During other events I was not as kind. My favorite encounter was waiting in the bleachers (supervising a large group of kids) with the Campus priest at a Christening for a National Guard helicopter. The aircraft was hours late so the priest and I had hours to talk. He asked me why I would not call him father and I meticulous explained (with a long series of foundational arguments) why religion and churches were evil because (among a list of biblical (BS) horror stories) they teach youth not to question ridiculous assertions leaving those who accept faith based claims to be conditioned to accept nonsense and be more vulnerable to accept lies that could hurt them and our society. I used many biblical stories to illustrate my points and he agreed with all my examples. By the end of our talk he sadly agreed that religion and churches were evil and asked me what else he could do. I felt sorry for him because he was a nice guy and he had limited marketable skills. His eyes were filled with tears so I directed him to "The Clergy Project" Months later he was still peddling his fantasy book and guiding sanctioned prayers but I am still there an I haven't seen him in years. . . Not sure what he is doing now.

There are many stories but this is already too long.

Not invited, not wanted = an unopened door!

The same way I deal with human knockers; I knock 'em up.

When I was 15 I tried to get them to come in and fool around. I wasn’t trying to get rid of them, but the bailed.

I look for the obvious: pamphlets, white shirt and tie, if I see them, I just tell them I am an atheist and have more faith in science than "religion." It's a whole other story if they get persistent. If they have to "sell" their faith, it's apparent they have none.

I 'pray' for all the microorganisms and bacteria germs fungi etc we kill through our actions. I normally get a reaction god is caring so I progress onto extinction and then try to have a debate about the world were creating they usually start running off then lol

Have a sign made that says, Deity peddling prohibited! " And watch them scratch their head as you shut the door.

A friend of mine observed that the Jehovah's Witnesses will cross the street to walk past his house when he wears a kilt.

I don't have to deal with them. I live in a tiny hamlet and everyone knows I am a non-believer . I also have two chihuahuas whose barking will intimidate everyone on the porch.
Peace,
Spinliesel

I say a quick "no thanks" and shut, but not slam, the door.
In college, I had someone come up to me and ask if I wanted to join a bible study. I told him I was an atheist and he said he didn't know what that meant. Who knows if he was being truthful, but he didn't push the issue. I walked away and he didn't follow.
As long as they are not being threatening, they seem like an annoyance, at best.

We have Mormons (possibly Morons) in the UK who knock on doors as well as 'The Witnesses' etc. Now the best thing to do to these individuals is NOT to slam the door in their faces but to INVITE THEM IN and give them a cup of tea and a biscuit. You will find that they are used to the door being slammed in their faces and being invited in they do not know how to handle anbd they go all pale and panicky..

However after a 40 mins lecture from me on how their religion stole/borrowed concepts from the Ancient Sumerians (through the route of the Babylonians) you can guarantee they will not believe you until you show them you can read a fair amount of Sumerian cuneiform (both dialects) and point out where they stole their ahem...ideas from. They will then want to leave in a hurried fashion especially when you suggest to them that the original story of their Jesus was a woman called Inanna and the real name of their lord is 'EN-LIL'.

The above happened even when I say I don't acknowledge such crap religious stuff by I do know where the original stories came from. #
Clue Zizuidra!

I'm usually pleasant, but I was having a yard sale and sitting in my garage. I've had people there coming and going all day long, my dog has been fine and very well behaved. I saw the van stop, and 4 people got out, the two men headed to my house and was walking up my driveway and my dog started going ballistic. They stopped halfway up the driveway and asked if I would put my dog away and I said "no". They turned around and went to my neighbors house instead. I don't know what it was about those people, but my dog wasn't having it! I've got a really smart ???? dog!!!

I used to always tell them I was a witch. They'd cross the street when they came to my property line for ages after that. Now I live in a security building. They leave their junk down at the front entrance and everybody ignores it.

It's been a while. Normally, I just tell them I'm not interested. They usually politely move on.

But next time I hope I am not feeling rushed. I would like to invite them in and see what happens to their head when I explain how the Bible came together and why it has zero credibility. That should be a hoot.

The last time I had JW's knock at my door, I just flipped my top up (no bra) and asked them "As a transwoman, do you think my breasts are developing nicely?" They left rather hastily. Later that same week, I did the same to a pair of Mormons. I haven't had any problems with either group since...

You are very kind, @Nicsnort. If I know for a fact they are religious (i.e. saw them knocking on other doors), I simply would make myself busy away from the door. Even if I open the door, my choice would be something along the lines of "I'm a happy atheist so I'm not interested, but have a good day." With a smile AS I'm closing the door. I would not INTENTIONALLY be rude, but I would not leave much room for a "But, can I just ask you one question?"

I used to be a door knocker myself. But since the tables have turned this was my only experience so far.

I can't remember what I was eating but I knew it had pigtails in it. A woman walked passed me muttering. I looked up thinking she was saying something to me. She looked back in my direction and we made eye contact. I waited for her to repeat herself. She didn't, so I go back to my dinner. I heard her call out, "Good night!" I looked up again and responded, "good night." She replied, "that's some good looking pigtails there girl!" This is how I remember I was eating pigtails. I said thanks. I looked at her with a blank expression hoping she'll go away and leave me alone. I hate small talk and I most definitely hated being interrupted from my dinner for small talk even more. She walked back towards me asking, "Are you a Christian?" I said, "No" still keeping my blank expression. She then asked what was my religion. I said I had none. I lifted my spoon to my mouth. She didn't compute. She asked again, I stopped and replied the same. She asked a third time I'm not sure why because I am sure I responded loud and clear enough the second time, no. I said again, "I have no religion." She asked me a forth time, what was my religion? I glared at her this time from under my furrow because every time I needed to respond to her I had to put my spoon down midway to my mouth. I covered my bowl with it's lid, sat up straight, raised my head, rested my hands on the desk and clearly articulated that I'm agnostic. I kept glaring at her because I wanted to go back to my dinner and I knew this conversation was going nowhere. She let out a heave and said, "Oh." She then asked what religion was that? I expected her to asked that question. She looked like she was obsessed with Christianity and knew nothing other than what she was brainwashed into believing. I responded dryly, "That's not a religion." I'm still glaring at her. She then asked what agnostic meant. I said words to the effect of someone who does not conform to religious dogma because you can't know the nature or existence of a God. I soften my glare to a blank expression. She ottered an oh sound again. I stared at her, she stared back. She looks like she's thinking.I lean forward to uncover my bowl. She perked up again and asked, "but you do believe in our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?" In my mind: "How the @#£&? can I believe in Jesus Christ if I don't believe in the creator?" I put my spoon in my mouth, I snickered under my breathe, "Our? Hahaha" I chewed. Clearly she doesn't understand what I said about an agnostic. She's waiting for an answer. I said no. I looked up at her at the same time and caught her gaped mouth and shocked expression on her face. I wonder to myself why is she so shocked? Doesn't she have some Hindi or Muslim friends? The other 2 major religions in my country. She's too stunned! She recited in alarm, "You don't believe in our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?" I continued to state at her blankly and chewed nonchalantly and said no again. Looks like she's stunned speechless. She just stared at me. I finally got a break. I was able to put another spoon of food in my mouth. She started to walk off, still staring at me, twisting her head to the side as she walked away to keep her gaze on me. Shock masked on her face. I started to doubt what I said to her and wondered if I mentioned that I blended up babies and drank them too...It was after midnight, there was no one here but us. The atmosphere was still, cold and quiet. She worked outside in the yard as a security guard in the dark of the night. She looked scared so I hissed sharply at her, forrowing my face and baring my teeth! She jumped and hustled out of the door. I finished my dinner in peace

I love them coming to my door. Several years ago I had a kind of friend with the JW's. I was not non-religious at the time, but I told him that I had no problems having a conversation with him, but that he should know from the beginning that I was not open to the JW's, but If he was in the neighborhood, he always would be welcome for a cup of coffee and a chat. That's what happened for years, until he got married, got children and got another area.
Nowadays, I love to challenge them (well, they are coming to my door) with all kind of questions.

I keep a besom at the door. If I'm not in the mood for a time waster I tell them what it's for and then sweep them out of the area. If I'm feeling feeling like a chat I'll talk to them and THEN use the broom.

I always invite them in... then murder them. Just kidding lol

I typically have great conversations with them! They are usually polite, they try their best, and eventually realize it is a waste of time and they should move on. But generally they have been really kind and polite. Kindness goes a long way with me, even if I don't agree with what you are doing.