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Condescending Pet Names

What are some of the pet names, that if a stranger uses them, you find condescending? (men and women)

I hate "honey" or "babe". Even if you and I are dating, don't call me those.

Crimson67 8 Jan 16
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0

Darlin or sweety spoken with an edge pisses me right off..always.

0

An effect of being southern is using some words automatically. Honey, sugar, sweetheart, you don't really realize you are saying them. It is a cultural thing I suppose.

1

I hate "Miss". It happened so much for awhile everywhere one day got on soapbox about it when someone finally called me Maam I was so grateful. There is a protocol for "miss" & "Maam".
Not fooling, flattering me or anyone else that I'm a "Miss" when you're in my age bracket or waiting on me at the deli counter. Annoying AF.

0

I don’t like hun or honey.

0

I can call someone "Madam" and they know by the tone of my voice that I am deservedly not respecting them.

0

LOL @Witchymom I thought you were talking about Rover and PussPuss!
If I was you I think I would be more concerned at being called "get me a beer", "when's dinner ready", "where's my ironed underpants?", "why isn't the floor polished" and at that crucial moment called by someone else's name!
Do you tell dates or casual conversed that you are not honey or babe? There was a delightful comedy film produced down here some years ago called Babe. If you haven't seen it I recommend it.

6

I am rather fond of pet names, myself. Sure, coming from a woman, an Independent woman, no less, one would think I would feel the opposite. Not true. I consider it a form of a nicety and I think men Already have it way too difficult by way of "men are supposed to make all the moves/open doors/be kind" etc etc rules so why be a bitch, I always say? I mean, a man could call me a total twat, and THAT, I would take offense to, but to call me anything that is a term of endearment, I think women, we take for granted that we have been catered to for far too long and Although I Do believe in Womens Rights and I am Totally up in arms over all the sexual harrassement I have caught wind of, and have experienced in my own right, I am not overly sensitive and I Think Women have become WAAY too sensitive for their own good. Did you know, on my campus, a woman can scream Sexual Harrassment if a Guy says HELLO To her? I mean, this is Extreme. So when my friends bitch and complain about "wow he called me HON! how DARE he!" I am like, smack "Snap out of it Lucy! Its JUST a kind word. How is He supposed to know Every Little Thing will insult you? In his mind he is merely trying to be polite, probably, not condescending." Look, I am a tiny, Asian woman. I look like im Still in my late 20's/early 30's Tops... I look like a child. I work in the medical field. I have Always looked like a child. Hence, I Do Understand what it is Truly like to deal with condescending behaviour. Throughout my life I have been passed up, underestimated, ridiculed, et al and singularly for one reason: I look like a kid. I get it. I deal with the Real thing. I have my entire life. "oh hon, once youre MY AGE you will understand what I am talking about" When in Reality, often times I AM the elder in the situation, but nope, I look like a kid. I take offense to those things. However, how Hypersensitive have Women become in this day and age when a Man calling you "hon/sweetie/darlin" is an insult? If we are to carry ourselves in SKIN THAT THIN, then fuck... call a psychiatrist, QUICK, because all the vagina's around here need some damn therapy! Sorry if I come across as Fickle, but I am not condoning True cases of condescension, but rather, I am letting loose the Kraken on how women have become Utterly... Hypersensitive over things that... come on now ladies, matter very little in the grander scheme of things. Find something to TRULY be outragged over. Be Pissed at Child molesters who refer to Kids as Hon or Sweetie. Be Pissed at something WORTH being Pissed At, but a dude using a kind pet name...? Our grandfathers did this and do we now scream out, "DIRTY OLD MAN! DIRTY OOOLD MAAAN!" next time a gpa calls us "hon" or "sweetie" or "Dear?" See, its difficult enough being a man, these days, and I make No Excuses for Male Bullshittery either, when perhaps all he is attempting to do is be nice. We ARE jumping the Gun women. For real. We are allowing ourselves to get out of hand. I am Furious at the female friends I do have who believe this way of thinking and Perpetuate it. I think it is ignorant and I think we should be Damn Happy we live in a Much better world these days with Well Defined, Well executed lines drawn in the sand that, if and when said lines are crossed, we have tools with which to defend ourselves. But sisters, if we KEEP BEING SENSITIVE FUCKING PANSIES... guess whats going to happen? Eventually it Will backfire and no one will take a damn thing we have to say seriously enough. You see, we are Crying Wolf if Every nice gesture a man makes, we simply come out Swinging like a dang Rabid Raccoon flipping out over nothing. Who CARES if a dude calls me "hon?" I've been called way worse: Gook, Chink, Frog, Slant Eye "oh is your vagina slanted like your eyes?" Banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside)... I mean, my teen nickname amoung my punk friends is "Twinkie" and no, I did not choose that title. Twinkie for "yellow on the outside, white on the inside" among other things, there is also a vulgar undertone to the nickname Twinkie. Bottom line is simple, Im Not going to continue to drag men through the mud. I will give as good as I Get, but I will not simply Judge a person based on the words they use with which to communicate to me. It is almost old school for a guy, or even a lady, to speak with such terminology and I have Nothing Against manners, old school behaviour, etc. So no... I think any woman who takes offense to such words... well... lets just say, stay away from this set of tits and vagina over here because... I Would Not tolerate it, I tell my female friends they are morons whenever they bring up such garbage to me and... I will Call out anyone who is This darn easy to frazzle. Alrighty then. Them's ma two cents. Time to go continue my dirty habit and step outside for a smoke. toodles 😉 😉 😉

Sadoi Level 7 Jan 16, 2018

Between living in Texas and living in South Carolina I did learn how to say ma'am like I mean it. I rarely encounter anyone who is offended, in fact I even use it to answer young female children, yes ma'am, no ma'am is the Texas way. Personally I think it's quaint and I have found it endears me two people when they realize it is simply a polite form or as the Japanese would say and honorific. Because I raised four daughters, I'm also in the habit of saying sweetheart but I think most of the younger women who know me realize that I only use this when speaking with them specifically and only while giving a kind and well considered answer. Generally to me when I preface a sentence with sweetheart, it means that I am about to answer as gently and kindly as I would answer my own young child. With this, yes I have offended some women and the truth be known I don't give a fucking shit. I raised four daughters to think and act for themselves. As they were growing I challenge them everyday by telling them they could not climb a tree they could not ride a bike or motorcycle and when they asked why, I would tell them, because you're a girl. It seems to be that now that they're grown they can do all of those things that I so often told them they could not. It seems to me that the older I get the less I care about what other people think. Hopefully I will not soon be like my children and do all the things that women tell me I should not. LOL

@Simply_Being Yes, exactly. I have been referred to as "sweetheart" when I was driving around in the south. "Hon" was used too. I never felt gilted nor offended. I felt the men who used those names for me were simply trying to be country gracious. I felt they were using it as a term of kind endearment. I can Tell the difference when someone is saying "sweetheart" in a kind way verses saying "Sweetheart" in a condescending way. It is a feeling. If you heed to your gut instinct, you CAN feel the difference. It is palpable because I Have had that used on me as a slight in the past. You do not mistake those words. But to just "blanket statement" everything and roll it together like one giant Bed of Insults is, in my opinion, total bullshit. Its just another easy way to say, "waa waa me me me me!" Getting PAST the Real Assholes that would say such things to us And Do mean to hurt us with those words, we need to be A Lot Stronger than this, and if we are always shrinking violets, buckling under the weight of something as benign as being called "hon" or "sweetheart," then we are fucked beyond reason! If we WANT to be taken serious here, we NEED to stop whinning about the little bits of minutia that total to just about zilch, other than misunderstanding and misinformation, and we Need to shed light upon the things that Are Real mistreatments of women and of womens rights. There Are things we Should be up in arms about, but pet names are NOT one of them. As a fellow woman in this world, I am disturbed by this recent trend of whinny, squeeky wheel syndrome. We have a myriad of battles we Still need to fight. Like the rights of women in third world countries. The things happening to women in Africa are unacceptable. Same of the women in the Middle East. Even in the jungles of Central America and in the countries of South America. Asian too. There are women who haven't even the right to defend themselves, verbally. No rights to drive. No rights to property, to ownership, period. No rights against husbands who have the Legal Right to kill them. Yet... here... in the United States, we WANT To talk Shit about pet names and the men who use them? I Do know and Believe women get way too much shit for being women. I Know we are paid less than our male counterparts. I Know we are disrespected in many-a-way that we've Yet to mention here. However, a pet name?? Instead, we go nuts if a guy says hello or a guy holds a door open for us or a guy uses a term of endearment toward us. Wtf?? Am i... totally insane here or... does this shit make about Zero sense?

@Sadoi, yass.... I'll bet you can guess how many times I have said "fuck you" to someone I just opened a door for? lol, my answer is," more than once." I have always supported gender equality, and I remember rejoicing at the beginnings of the feminist movement, ban the bra! (I was young, granted, yet still young enough, perhaps, that breasts still had a marvelous sway over me?) Sadly, my excitement was short-lived when much of the feminist movement was distracted by hateful misandrists who used feminism as a cover for their own insecurities. In defense of 60s feminists, I would say they eagerly embraced anyone who would support their cause, perhaps too eagerly, perhaps finally, pandering to the seeds of our modern day snowflake/ special flowers...
Of course this is all conjecture on my part, but I believe the founders of the movement practically took for granted that the majority of people had good sense. Sadly, such is no longer the case, and many people are merely left as the vestigial Shadows of those long ago forlorn children, destined to achieve great psychological damage because as infants they felt denied of the quality breast feeding time that is instrumental in forming well-rounded citizens. Heehehehe... I was not one of them, and I think you are not either. WInstead, we may be of that rare set that believes "only morons cannot do their own taxes", and that "my opinion won't change just because you don't like it". If this were a horoscope I would add, "Your biggest problem with people is - that they are idiots..."... You probably are thinking now that I am psychic, but no, I'm just a man that is eager to use demeaning terms of endearment on complete strangers as a Humanity acid test...

@Simply_Being I'm sitting in traffic reading your response and cracking up laughing! THANK YOU! I NEEDED to laugh today!

@Hellbent HAHAHAHA!! Oh... my comment? I wondered how many would find it offensive. After I hit send, I sat there for a minute and wondered, "Should I have sent that? Oh shitsticks I may piss some people off. Yeah! I Should have sent it because its How I Feel and someone with Tits and a Vagina needs to say it. If only MEN respond as i do, they will merely look like bully fucks, however, if a fellow female says it... yeah... that would have more impact." lol! Cannot live in a world full of regrets. 😉 At least I have the where-with-all to speak my mind, right? hee hee

@Sadoi thank you so much! I am proud to have been of service. As we become friends I believe you will come to know that I hold nothing sacred and there's not a reverent bone in my body. There is a reference bone, but we only use it for reference. By we, I mean other people...

@Hellbent Excelsoir!

@Simply_Being HAAAHAAA!! Hey, laughter and learning are of Top Priority in my life so Bring it ooooon brotha!!! I wait with baited breath! 😉

@Simply_Being I Like You!! 🙂

@Sadoi wow... Too many rules kill the romance... Unless and until all you are interested is in a dead duck sex.

Hey, I like the way you think. Don't they say "good things come in small packages." Let's see if you get offended by that.

@Srijith hahaha! Absofuckinglutely not! Hey, yoda was small... 😉 I used to hate how tiny I was growing up. I felt as though i'd NEVER be "Tall Enough" to be considered a "Real Adult" hahaha but alas, these days, I love being small! I never have to worry i will be taller than my boy friend and im small enough to fit just about anywhere! people underestimate us lil people, but that can be used to my shrimp-like advantage! Plus, people seem to believe tiny thing are "adorable." Again, another tool in my arsenal to use in the case of an emergency. haha!

0

Son or boy

okay, i can see how Son or boy could backfire on a man.

yes its a real put down

0

Pet names don't bother. But someone I found very, very annoying used to say "Hi By" , shortening Byron to by thinking it was cute. Just because of her if someone says that to me it's as close to,violent as I get.

2

There’s a lot of people that use hon for everyone under the sun, I think you know when it’s used to belittle, because it makes you feel small.

1

Old school. Just because I have grey hair doesn’t mean I’m old!

1

Living in the south cured me of being offended by "Sweetheart", "Darlin'", "Baby", et al.

The only time a pet name bothers me is when I can tell the person using it is actually being condescending, on purpose or otherwise. And that comes through in the tone, not the name itself.

For the most part I think people are trying to be nice when they use them. So I respond that way, even if the name sets my teeth on edge.

I haven't had this much from creepy men because I'm neither very attractive nor approachable. When I have I've mostly just rolled my eyes at how obvious and pathetic it is.

ooh like in the south when they say behind your back, "oh isn't that/she precious...?" you KNOW, at that moment, what they Really Mean about you! haha

Well, bless your heart, @Sadoi 😉

@stinkeye_a YES! YESSS! that is the ONE!! haha! I picked the incorrect condescending saying! hahahaha!!!!

2

Sweets-my 1st husband called me that
Babe-my last boyfriend still calls me

Honey-some women call me that-phony
Maam-don't ever call me that.

hahaha Ma'am! wow! Ma'am seems to be the Most hated word here! I have yet to be referred to as Ma'am... but... dang if i do, should i be all... shooting daggers like some Transformer at War or... what??

3

I was going to say Spot, or Tiger or Polly.... lol

HAAAHAA HAA!! "hey sport, come grab this biscuit on the floor!" "hey snowball! hows it going?" "hey Sox, what ya doing over there?" "Fido!! Looking Good!!"

That's exactly what I thought when I read the title: names for pets. I'm glad I'm not the only one. 🙂

1

Sugar Tits.

HAAAHAAAAA!!! This made me cry, i laughed so hard!

2

I've used "Hon" as a term of endearment, but if used incorrectly it can be very condescending, for instance: "You don't know what you're talking about hon." Very snotty.

I wouldn't say it to someone unless I was more than a friend with her either.

I would just say, "whats your IQ sport?? and I DONT KNOW WHAT IM Talking about? Whatever you say Jock-o!"

0

I agree!

skado Level 9 Jan 16, 2018
1

I call my daughter “pooppy butt”?

Well, when my late wife wasn’t trying to throw things at my head and was feeling amorous, she called me Raunchy Rob. My pet name for her can’t be shared on a public forum. @witchymom

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