I learned that I am done.
The walls are up, the armor is on, and that's okay with me.
Everyone else is free to do as they please.
I am done.

I thought a woman will never break my heart... and then less a month ago... my daughter died and I refuse to recover!

The armour is easy...just don't care. Problem is life is pretty bland when you don't care about anything. I wouldn't recommend it but I did it for years in my youth

I quit MANY years ago. This is a site where there can never be too much info. I weighed a lot, lost 200 lbs and lived the life of a fit, 140 lb woman for 8 years. All it ever got me was laid, every which way but up, when I figured out it wasn't 'that' I moved on, some 20 years ago. No interest, what-so-ever, not even a tad. I'm not lonely, have 2 pugs, a beautiful piece of propterty, a garden to die for, what else could I want?

I was in love for many years and I fully expect to find that again. It’s amazing to share your life and love with someone. I can’t imagine not wanting to despite the pain I have endured, I know it’s worth it.

You have already said it, "armor." The problem occurs when you let someone in. That's when your shed your armor and become vulnerable. I'm not saying you shouldn't do that, but opening your heart to someone always makes you vulnerable.

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

Sure, don't love anyone. Otherwise, there's no armor.

I feel that I've calloused enough to endure, though I hope to not go through heartbreak again. Maybe that's why I prefer singleness: deep emotional vulnerability in regards to romantic love is the only cowardly thing about me unfortunately. Otherwise, I'm a fairly ballsy broad.

"And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
I finally let my walls down because they were too painful to maintain. Vulnerability is being tender to oneself, and we have to forgive ourselves.
The Buddhists have it right - don't get attached to anything except your own happiness. As long as you have that as your basis, nothing can really harm you.

My modus operandi has always been "Open heart, open mind."

Then I was hurt by two "players." I felt sad, disillusioned and all kinds of stupid.

It is impossible to be open to love, yet keep your heart in a box, I discovered.

Loving whole-heartedly requires vulnerability.

Enjoy this wonderful, 20 minute TED talk by Dr. Brene' Brown on "The Power of Vulnerability." Her talk changed my life.

[ted.com]

As far as I know, there IS no armor that works.

The only heart brake I've ever had was when my grandmother died.
We were very close, and it very hard to get over, I still really miss her.
But as forrelationships, I've never had a bad breakup. In fact I'm still friends with most of them.

Well . May I give u an advice ? Broken heart means alive heart . U played your best , something to lose / something to gain , pain for sure at times , but . ALIVE . Armoir won't do any good . 100% is the only way to go . We only live once ?

I don't think I can be heartache proof. The sweetest eyes can tell the worst lies. I can only prevent it by being careful who I make commitments with using lessons I've learned from the past coupled with what I know about myself.

Who was that woman...

I don't think there is any armour except disdain to care or feel, and that is hardly worth it. I'm glad I am not heartache proof

Story of my life. A heart made calloused, then unnumbed after years of effort, only to be trashed back.

I was there only once as a teen. It didn't work.... Never again but don't know what/if I did anything knowingly to control it. It's like I lost all my feelings altogether and gradually over time as I grow old they are trying to come back..... I don't know what for or why.

I wouldn't want to be. How can I expect another to love me completely if I'm holding back? I still hope to be loved that way! Doubt that will ever change.

I have some pretty high thick walls. Every once in a while a person finds the door and key and gets inside. And when they go, I’m heartbroken to the point that I declare I’ll never let that happen again because when you let someone in they devastate you. But then I do.

I guess the risk of a broken heart is better than the fear of loneliness? Or maybe I refuse to let go of the thought that while I’m looking for him, he’s looking for me. And eventually our paths will cross. Someplace normal and mundane like the grocery store or the DMV. A some little spark between us will ignite a fire..and suddenly, flames everywhere.

Relationship require you to take chances and become vulnerable. Everyone has to ask if the joy you get out of any given relationship is enough of an upside to balance against what could be betrayal and emotional devastation. Keep your relationships shallow if the risk scares you.

I don't want that type of armor. I'd rather hurt like hell occasionally. Although I'm not in any rush to hurt that way again.

no one is heartache-proof, and armor is the worst possible thing to try. try being open to love, but not seeking it, and being critical of with whom you hang.

g

Not yet.