Making new 'friends' after age 50
I have been separated now for almost a year and suspect that the divorce will be final sometime this Spring. I've never was a particularly good 'dater' to begin with, and haven't been intimate with anybody other than my soon to be Ex wife for almost 25 years.
I went on two friendly dates during the Summer with a woman I met through Match.com, but that was a huge waste of time as well. She was a nice person, but there was no attraction.
So - online dating kind of stinks. Because I am an unaffiliated Agnostic I've got no Church-related groups to use as a way to meet new people. I'm not interested in meeting new women through work as that's problematic. And dating students at the Community College is a huge no-no even IF I were interested.
Anybody got advice on what an older introvert might do to get his butt back into a social life?
1
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17 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.OK Cupid, Tinder, Plenty Of Fish, and here. You must reach out. I've made some incredible friends through these sites, even met a few who have progressed into more. Hang in there.
I'll be 60 next month. I'm more in touch with who I am and what I will and will not accept in my life than ever before. Married twice with no intent to do it again.
LimeySteve
Level 7
Feb 10, 2018
0
Being a fellow introvert I feel for you. Just the thought of socializing with people I don't know is frightening. I may be comfortable doing something like a photography club or something where their is a focus, no pun intended, on a common interest. Maybe some classes of some sort, or a Unitarian church. At least if I was't focused on meeting someone and just want to let it happen I would still be out there and not worrying about getting out there.
Ktcyan
Level 7
Feb 6, 2018
1
If you can partnered dance... you got the answer if you don't... find a group partnered dance class. Men always in short supply and demand is high. It will improve your confidence 100 percent. I know of a teacher in your area... got to www.danceteachertogo.com
GipsyOfNewSpain
Level 9
Feb 6, 2018
0
Try OkCupid. You answer questions and it generates a match percentage with potential dates.
However, you will have limited options until your divorce is final as most people won't date someone who is separated. I won't. I also don't want to be the first relationship after a divorce is final as that relationship is usually transitional.
Dating sucks! I feel your pain. Good luck!
shockwaverider
Level 8
Jan 26, 2018
1
Yep - have largely written off dating for now & for mostly that reason. Would be nice to start meeting new people though, even if romance is not quite the end-goal for now.
@KurtZeller In that case, you got some good advice from others. Take a class that you are interested in, join a club, and try meetup.com. I wish you the best.
Around here there are several singles social clubs for over-55's. I am currently 4th term President of one. We have about 100 Members, 75% female. Most own their own homes, love to travel, dance, dine out. Most are not at all interested in getting married or even living with someone ( once you get control of the remote, ain't no looking back!) But would love a "steady" that likes to have a good time & dances. Look in your area for dances"over-55's"
Another excellent place is the humongous online site "Meetup", where you browse your area for groups that like to kayak, or wharever. Our group maintains a site on there for recruiting purposes.
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Jan 23, 2018
1
Why don't you take up dancing? Go to a dance studio. You will learn to dance and meet new people.
Ballroom/Latin dancing. It keeps you agile and you will always find dance partners. You never know where it will lead!
Omgjsc
Level 3
Jan 21, 2018
3
Speaking as One in the Know of that Great Secret of Partnered Dancing. I Salute You.
go dancing
markdevenish
Level 7
Jan 20, 2018
3
Ha! Sound advice - if only I could dance and not look like Elaine on Seinfeld.
@KurtZeller honey, if you are willing to get up on the dance floor, it does not matter if you look like Quasimodo!
I've had some luck on Zoosk.
Its not easy. My wife of 57 years passed this summer.
WaltCarnahan
Level 4
Jan 20, 2018
1
Sorry to hear that Walt. Had though about Zoosk, might have to give it another look.
Same problem here. I just don't want to hear people's religious statements. Live and let live. I don't date religious people. It's the pits.
LEGALEAGLE1213
Level 2
Jan 20, 2018
2
I'm not sure, but in the meantime get a pet if you don't already have one....
Rudy1962
Level 9
Jan 20, 2018
2
Got that handled already Rudy. Cat is sitting right next to me as I type this, and the dog is out amusing himself in the backyard in the sun,
Perfect
A beginner's yoga class! All the women in the class go "Oh look it's a MAN!". It's pretty funny. And it really doesn't matter if you can't touch your toes....
RavenCT
Level 9
Jan 20, 2018
4
I can already sort of touch my toes. Make a lot of what I used to consider my Dad's noises now when I try it though. 
MEETUPS.COM has social and agnostic/atheist groups. Unitarian Universalist Churches welcome everyone. Work on your profile and try to meet someone here. Welcome.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Jan 20, 2018
3
Perhaps try Meetup.com? Look for people in groups of similar interest to you.
Duke
Level 8
Jan 20, 2018
2
Had thought about Meetup.com as well. Sound advice & thanks to you all for your input!
Duke:
@KurtZeller Good luck!
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