Is it that they fear the pain of death, or is it that they fear the joy of life -Toad the Wet Sprocket
Carry a club for the next time he hits you.
It sounds as if you have been hurt by a relationship in the past. If people made love hurt or affection violent for you, it says more about your choice of partners than about the words. I stopped being the victim when I took responsibility for my choices, even though that meant refusing all choices for the last 20 years.
Being open to possible rejection is scary...but as a former battered wife, frankly, this seems like BS, sorry