Kids are always listening, even if they pretend not to hear when they're young. It's good to give them the lesson in manners, in case they need or want to use them some day.

I wonder if men/fathers sometimes feel left out of the attention when so much is given to the moms/ladies who have the hair/makeup stylings, maybe had a hand in the event planning, moral support and so on. Sometimes the dad might feel a little left out of the loop while contributing equal money to the event, but not feeling as appreciated.

I think I noticed a bit of that from my ex, regarding our daughter's wedding. We were fairly newly divorced, but agreed to split the cost, yet I got more attention from our daughter than he did for my small part in the planning, which caused him to grumble out splitting the bill 50/50, so I ended up paying more to keep the peace.

Luckily he was on good behavior though and wasn't insulting toward anyone during the wedding festivities. His parents taught him there was a time and place for that kind of behavior and weddings/funerals were not that place. That standard will likely be passed on to our kids as well.

not everyone does behave badly at family gatherings. some people behave badly outside of family gatherings instead, or too. i don't think weddings and funerals reveal real character any more than daily life, but i DO think family gatherings can make people revert to old relationships, not all of which are peaceful, and there is also the comfort factor: people feel more at home (sometimes) at home. to THAT extent maybe they reveal their true character, but i wouldn't generalize.

g

Some people are just too oblivious to how their actions can make other people feel.

While it's not the behavior I would have exhibited, we have to take your recollection with a grain of salt, esp. considering it is blatantly obvious he is your ex. The things you said might have not been suave, but I would by no means say he behaved badly from your description. I would classify that more as he didn't do what you expected, and you're being a little harsh. He didn't get drunk, he didn't call her a whore, he didn't call her new husband a pathetic loser who isn't good enough for her...etc. Maybe my bar is set a little too low...maybe your's is set a little too high?? That's all I'm saying

Gtrz to her and glad you were able to be there for her!

I think sometimes that why some families have to drink at every get together. They still backstab, bitch and fight but they laugh, hug and cry too.
I'm glad I no longer attend my ex's family gathering for that reason. Why hang out, when you despise each other's presence?