I agree. I would do the same. A sexless relationship kills marriage. Wait. Why get married in the first place?

I think you're corret and this is what most people have been doing secretly all along. It remains secret mostly because of jealousy.

Everyone is different of course and has different needs and expectations so take this with a grain of salt but to me, if your wife is having health issues and your inclination is to find another partner... that doesn't sit well with me. To me at least, wedding vows have never been "in sickness and in health unless I'm not getting laid". But every couple is different. No judgment. But for me there is no excuse.

Some people can not have sex due to health problems. Women's sex drives will change when they are no longer making estrogen and men's will when they age and cannot produce testosterone. I do not understand how something like this would make up for lack of affection/romance for your friend. Some people allow polyandry as their own agreement for a spouse/lover when they become disabled or are not able to desire sex anymore. I think it is better to seek a sex therapist or relationship counselor before making any promise to do what you propose.

IF he needs this, and she can't do it, then he should seek it outside that relationship. IF she can't deal with that, she should leave him.

the whole point of "you're the one for me" is that "you" satisfy "me". the whole point of "I'm the one for you" is that "I" satisfy "you". not just sexually, but in many ways. and a marriage or commitment can't satisfy every need, ever. it can't. but when one of the needs associated with that commitment is no longer met by one partner, expecting the other partner to just accept never having that need met is ridiculous.

Sexuality exists on a spectrum. Some people can only ever do mogomany and some never could do it. Some can let their spouse sleep with others even though they never could, themselves. And so on. That being said, you did mention you’re single. Wait until you fall in love before you settle your opinion on this.

As long as everyone agrees it should be fine. Communicating is key to everything.

If there is a mutual agreement between them both then I would go for it… However, this type of relationship can be fraught with peril.

I agree with your clause. It is unfortunate that not many would be prepared to do the same. Many relationships are ruined by monogamy that becomes enforced celibacy.

My parents have this issue. And my mom would kill both my dad and the woman he stepped out on her with even though they haven’t had sex in 10 years. I personally think that’s wrong. But each marriage has to have their negotiations and communications and they have to have agreements in place for such things.

Esther Perel's recent book, "The State of Affairs," explores this topic, and many others.
Her premise: the change in the definition, and expectations, of marriage changed about 100 years ago. And this, along with our expanded awareness of our rights and possibilities, is wreaking havoc upon marriages that otherwise are happy, and working well.
This is a good summary of her ideas:

I agree with you. A discussion about a sex surrogate is an option, though it is a taboo topic for many and could cause stress on someone who is already dealing with a lot. It is wise to have the conversation before it it already needed. With the best for your friend.

For that to work I think all parties involved would have to sit down face to face.

I would never believe someone's word on that without their partner's say so on it.

Sounds like an open marriage at that point.

I have no issue with people doing that - I was just raised too Catholic to ever be able to endure the feelings of guilt this would cause. Never mind jealousy.

I think yours is a pretty reasonable, practical, and sensible approach. One might even say compassionate.

I have personally been involved with married women for that reason and never had an issue with it.
You do you, I do me and let's strive to cause or do no harm.

This type of scenario can be complicated, but usually, it isn't. I believe that once you lose your physical attraction for someone, it simply isn't coming back. You can indulge your partner all you want by letting them seek comfort outside of the relationship or marriage, but eventually, you have to be realistic and decide if you want to stay together platonically or take a chance on a romantic partner with whom you can keep the home fire lit indefinitely.

I have had friends who did the open-marriage thing, and suffice it to say that after a year or so of experimentation, the couples decided to part ways. So in a way, it was a good thing, because they realized that they could have an entirely different kind of life. One of my friends would probably tell you that it's best to be single and celibate by choice rather than marriage and celibate through no choice of your own.

I dunno. I just think that once you open the door to sex outside of the relationship, it ceases to be a relationship in the proper definition of the word.

I agree. Life is short. Do what makes YOU feel good. My sex partner is going through this right now. His GF has health issues, plus he is just not attracted to her the way he used to be. That is why he drifted , and met me. He is trying to work out an understanding with her AND keep ME around. He is a really good soul and I really like him so I will not walk away ( yet ).

The wif and i have many friends. Including those of other genders. None sexual (that i know of). But, each satisfies different needs of interaction/conversation.

Should these encounters be considered "Infidelity?

And if they were to include some physical contact?

At what point/line is it:
"Cheating?" "Wrong?" "Deception?"
"Preservation?" "Imperative?" Sanity?"

Life is much shorter than anyone can imagine. 'Specially youngin's.

Fuck as much as you can with as many as possible.

Women need to do this to prevent inability. A sad reality.

For 15 of 30 years in a increasingly sexless relationship i decided to stick it out and resorted to masturbation to get by. I eventually left her once the youngest child hit 16 and found that i had a lot of trouble having real sex again. That was 3 years ago now and i'm still having problems but its getting better with regular exercise and viagra. I don't know what point i'm making but theres one or two in there somewhere.

After a second try, Kathie and I have been back together for about thirty-five years.. bothof us married twice, once to each other ( first for both), second to others. Neither of us wanted marriage, didn't care for the roles of "husband" or "wife"....and we enjoyed each other most other ways...intellectually, romantically, sexually...but neither of us could see having an "open relationship"...so we agreed that if either of us found someone we thought we would be happier with, we would pursue that relationship, but only after informing the other..... that gave each of us the freedom of continuing, or getting out of our relationship with each other. It has worked for us.

You sound very sensible a very good point you made there i can understand that frame of thinking