I turned a guy down for a date - busy at work and decided not to date. I was honest with him about it although he said ' you'll meet someone when you are ready" . Then he offered an invite to meet for a coffee and chinwag sometime. Confused.
Really? Sounds like a result to me. Maybe too much assumption on my part but... (that's never stopped me )
He 'asks you out' Youre not really sure and anyway you got stuff going on at work. He drops the 'someday your Prince will come...' cliche (He could have done with leaving that bit out )
BUT then recovers by offering a date with the heat taken out (coffee/chat) Thus showing he's not deeply offended by you turning him down.
On the other hand he may have kidnapped one of your closest friends and want to meet up for coffee so he can give you his ransom demands...
Ohferpetessake, it is coffee in a public place with a potential friend who hopes for more. That is his problem, not yours. Go if you have the time, or not.........
Sounds like he wants to start as friends and get his foot in the door just in case you change your mind.
Coffee.....riiiiight ..... just coffee....and chatting.... uh huh. LOL
Going out for just coffee hasn't meant just that in 20+ years, if ever.
I disagree, I enjoy talking to women, and I've taken plenty out for a cup of coffee without any desire or intention of romance. I bring one of my female coworkers a cookie from a coffee shop every morning, and we've never had any desire to be romantic with one another. I can't speak for this guy's intentions because the circumstances seem a bit weird but to say that a guy asking out a woman for coffee or lunch means they want in your pants is just not valid. At least not for me, I hope it's not true of all other men.
What a ludicrous statement. I ALWAYS suggest to meet a new acquaintance for coffee at a local cafe and have done so for 50 years and will continue to do so.
@Qualia I get what you're saying, and I think your comment is more accurate on the whole than I gave it credit. I just know that it isn't always accurate, at least not for me. I just started drinking coffee myself, and I've only gone to a coffee house a handful of times, but the few times I've gone, I've never had anyone romantically approach me. However, that may have more to do with my gender than anything else. I'm too oblivious to people around me to even think about approaching a woman I've never met and firing up a conversation with her with the motivation of romantic intentions. It would feel weird, but I'm not a numbers guy who thinks the more I approach, the better my odds.
"Come in /up for a coffee ..." perhaps, but an invite to a coffee shop, no. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sounds like he didn't want to accept your rejection of a date and that by making it sound like he was just offering a no pressure coffee date as just a friend, and that if you spent some time with him you might eventually want to amp it up to something more.
Seems to me that one human being, who was hoping for something more, has excepted your polite rebuffal for romantic connection, but is still willing to offer friendship. Meeting for a coffee in a public place might be a pleasant experience.
My point exactly. Men aren’t just about fucking all the time. We want friendship. And most of us appreciate female friendship. More than men’s because there’s a sense of comfort. Being able to open up. But it’s clear she made up her mind to thinking he’s just thirsty.
I took a quick look at your profile on here and it showed you were interested in dating. If you are confused about your intentions you are sending out confusing signals. The fact that you are on here discussing it would point that your feelings towards him are confusing as you have not turned him down flat. This mating game has never been clear cut.
It sounds to me that he's taken your rejection at face value — that you just don't have time for romance right now — but that it will happen for you when you're ready. He doesn't feel personally rejected, though perhaps he should intuit that, so he thinks that when you are ready he might still have a chance to date you. And it sounds to me that he's trying to keep that door open a crack by inviting you to have a quick coffee with him, without the time commitment or formality of a real date and without the pressure for it to be romantic.
Can't let that perfect one get away. Love is in the air.
I think it depends on age and where we are at this point in our life. I used to meet with most people I found interesting and never found it really, At this point , retired and happy, I now need too be knocked over by a woman where I truly would love meet,
the difference is in you, us as an individual. If this guy just intrigued you to a tingle, then meet, if you feel nothing is most likely there, don't do it if you opt not to. He is a nice guy as I read it but it is your decision I for one now only seek like minded women for interest.
If he shows up with velvet gloves, a razor, and shaving cream? There won't be coffee.
Upside and half-serious: coffee could just be to make a connection with another human being. It is becoming more and more rare in the flesh.