@genessa That is sweet.

I had already been dating my wife a couple years when I learned that that dementia ran thru the women in her family-her grandmother and then her mother-but I married her anyway and we had 12 good years before the dementia hit her. She then died about five years after that, two years ago. I can't recommend it for everybody because it's a lot of suffering to experience, both theirs and yours, but I don't regret staying with the relationship. It changes you forever. I'm done grieving but I still miss her and get very discouraged that I will ever find another partner.

genessa- You are so strong and kind to hang with your man. I hope you and him maybe have some friends or family who can emotionally support both of you and help out some as I know from experience that both of you are gonna need it.

@TomMcGiverin we really don't, alas. but... we do the best we can! thanks for the good thoughts, though.

g

@genessa Sorry to hear that. My family didn't help much, but our friends sure did. That's why I consider my friends to be my real family, which they have been for my adult life.

@TomMcGiverin it often works out that way. there was a time this would be true for me too, but my surviving friends are far-flung.

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@genessa Sorry to hear that. My friends almost all live in my local area and that's the reason why I won't relocate for love even tho I would really like to have a partner again, because I need to have both a partner and some friends. Also, at my age it's hard to make a new bunch of friends if I relocated and then where would I be if I lost the relationship? Having to move back here, and I've already done enough moving to last a lifetime.

@TomMcGiverin oh tell me about it! i am the one who is far-flung lol, not necessarily my friends. but the result is the same.

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yes, Yes & YES! i'm totally with you on that one.

Great answer!!!

Ditto on that last paragraph! Spouse, not a child.

@CommonHuman I am not going to be anyone's nurse, housekeeper, cook or mother if they are capable of taking care of themselves!

@thinktwice I had that in my profile once. I have been alone in my life, off and on, 17 years. I know how to take care of myself including, cooking, cleaning, ironing, sewing and on. I don't want another out of need but desire. Unfortunately, a lot of women want to be needed for their domestic skills.

@JackPedigo It is fine if a woman wants that...but many want an equal partner. I also don't need a man to pay the bills, take care of the cars, etc. In a relationship, divide up the duties however you like but don't expect it and don't ever take it for granted. Agree and follow through...washing the dishes once is not going to cut it if that is what is suppose to be your responsibility...and, you can take turns for most things as well...I hope you find an equal partner!

@thinktwice I agree to a point. Most of us have our strengths and weaknesses. I tend to leave leftovers on the dishes so my late partner did most of the dish washing (while she was home). She hated ironing and didn't do windows so I did. Sometimes we can exchange jobs but it has to be equal. I had found an equal partner which is why I am not the relationship skeptic as many.

@JackPedigo Oh how wonderful! It sounds like you found an agreeable solution. I hear a lot of people, both men and women, complain about the unequal division of chores in the household. Particularly women...it is any wonder they are too tired for bedroom play when they have done so much work after outside work as well? Men complain about the stress put on them to provide financially...sharing all responsibilities seems to make both much happier! Thanks for posting!

Very true.

LMAO

That's my superpower lol

As they say, whatever blows your skirt up.

You know when women enjoy giving oral? When the area is well kept, and they are receiving good oral. If you're woman is acting like it's a chore, she's not being taken care of...

@Minta79 I was talking in general. Just the act itself, regardless of how she's treated by her mate. Same goes for anal. Some ladies love it while don't even want to think about it.

@Aristopus I am also taking in general, as a woman, being satisfied and being able to trust our partner has a lot to do with how much we enjoy certain activities. I have had partners that the thought of giving them oral made me ill and others that I really enjoy(ed) giving head. Same with anal. It is way more down to the relationship than the act for most women.

If sex (with a steady partner) is "a chore", then something is wrong! Often sex is one-sided, as in one partner is selfish, inconsiderate, or does not reciprocate, or perhaps hygiene is lacking, or something. Unless, of course, the partner simply does not LIKE that particular part of sex.

@Rustee who said anything about sex being a chore. You must have gone to Catholic school.

@Aristopus - Actually your saying that some do it out of a "sense of duty" makes it sound like a chore to be dealt with, but not necessarily enjoyed! No, I did not go to a catholic school, and I actually enjoyed sex. At least until it ceased being fun because he became selfish and inconsiderate. At that point it was leaning towards being "chore-ish"...

@Rustee Sorry to hear it. I'm a retired biology teacher and let me assure you the Prime Directive is the strongest force in the natural world. Did you know that mankind is the only animal in all nature with a full frontal genital display? The rest of the primates are knuckle walkers.

There's a biological reason for this: human babies are born helpless for a few years. I'm a widower and I'd love to meet a sapiosexusl lady.

@Aristopus - I think intelligence is incredibly attractive! Too bad we are a continent apart, we might like to meet each other!

@I have the same idea. but it's 1 am as I write this. Good night.

@Rustee What do you think of this? I did spend a couple of days of the curriculum on sex ed, but this one confounds me (being male). A gay friend of mine told be that a prostatic ejaculation is as close to heavenly bliss as it gets. The prostate gland is stimulated or tickled by the intercourse. In gay vernacular there's a pitcher and a catcher. I never knew what the catcher got out of it.

In biology there's the concept of "homologous organs" -- the ovaries and the testes; the fallopian tubes and the epididymis, the ova and spermatozoa; the prostate gland and the uterus. Each of these pairs is the same at fertilization but develop differently depending on whether the person is XY or XX. Ever notice that the skin of the scrotum is the same skin tissue as the labia?

So, just as the prostate gets stimulated during homosexual sex, the uterus sits on the anal canal and it stimulated the same way. The church did humanity a disservice by telling followers that anal sex is "abomination" . To tell the truth I feel that straight reproductive sex is abomination. The are 7.4 billion people in the world and humans are turning it into a garbage heap.

In my younger days only around 25% of girls liked it, but now the younger generation is free thinking and around 45% of ladies are so inclined (no pun intended). The church is also wrong telling people that homosexuality is a choice. No way, it's a question of hormones. A gay man is that way his entire life no matter how fervently he prays or gets counseling. Five percent of the world's population is gay, 20% bisexual and the rest straight. That percentage is constant throughout human history.

Let me know if you enjoy this stuff. I'm a retired teacher and I still love it. If you enjoy my writing check out my Saving Gaia.

[lulu.com]

@Aristopus - I am supposed to be getting ready to head out of town, and have a wet dog (wrapped in a towel) on my lap, so I'm typo-ing one-handed. I am intrigued by your statements, and would like to respond more fully. Perhaps when I return!

@Rustee I just wanted to show how clueless the churches are. I hope the previous post wasn't too technical.

@Aristopus - I enjoyed reading your discourse, and agree with you! The church (all of them) are completely clueless, but I think it is by choice.... They refuse to consider that science has some pretty clear and concise answers for all sorts of situations. Not too technical, there are a lot of scientists/medical people in my family, I was curious about and exposed to all sorts of biological things from an early age!

@Rustee That's how the churches lasted thousands of years. They controlled the flow of information. Even as a kid I'd get mad at them telling me, "he died for our sins." I'd get mad as heck, "What sins?: I'm just a kid. I don't know any Adam and Eve and even if they did commit the original sin what's that got to do with me?" The more I studied it the madder I got.

For instance, when they told me the Bible says the Jews are "the chosen people," I immediately asked, "Who wrote the Bible?"

"The Jews", they answered.

What do you think I'm stupid? Even 'til this day I can't see how anybody still believes in it. Has to be the power of wishful thinking and mutual persuasion. I laugh at it now, but when I was a kid it caused a lot of grief. Couldn't even tell anybody what the problem was.

Negativity is a killer, need to stay away from negative people , at all cost.

That was rather tongue in cheek! Lol! What matters most to me is integrity.