If it was a bad day for him, then maybe another chance. That's a big maybe. Otherwise, forget he exists and move on with your life.

I've been running this in my head the past couple of weeks: "You had ONE JOB. ONE!" and you fucked it up. Are you trying to get me to FIRE you? Yes?
Everyone has a "job" in their various social relationships, no matter of degree.

Don't expect to hold a heavy anvil from a great height with nothing more than thin jute rope and not expect to have it fall on your head.

You did the right thing. If your being told your not good enough, then he is right, for him. You are a great person and anyone who says different is saying stay away.

The old adage about fool me once... applies here. It seems you attract all kinds of put downers. What's going on? I think we get used to a certain kind of behavior and gravitate toward this as it is in our comfort zone. Better the misery you know then something you don't ,which might be even worse - or better. You are better than that!

For me, as much as I’d like to just get over my childhood, it also shaped me. I wouldn’t be who I am today without what I went through and dealt with. I think its the main reason I do a lot of the things and believe a lot of the things I do today. I had such a strange up bringing that I never want the same for my own life. But I still constantly live in fear that I will repeat my families mistakes or that I let it hold me back.

To thine own self be true.

You did the right thing. If you ever open up to somone enough to share your favorite places, and you are made uncomfortable, they need to go quickly

Very smart,your heart said"Give him another chance",your logical Brain said in no uncertain terms; NOPE! Had you given in the emotional entanglement,you would need (hopefully not)more therapy.....

I've been told that it takes a thousand plus compliments to negate one discouraging comment.

You made the right decision.

Its easy to pin point others mistake but while we do that remember nobody's perfect. I am so glad that you don't have to deal with this.

Depending on how severe they are, I don't think we get over childhood hurts. We find ways to manage them, until someone comes along and rubs salt in the wounds.
Such people are to be avoided.

If it is something that we are still thinking of into our adulthoods, then the obvious statement is no...we do not. This does not, however, give opportunity to excuse ourselves from learning from our pained past and doing better for the future, as you seem to be doing.

You did what you had to do and I cannot blame you. In my own situation it has been over a year now since I have seen my stepdad who is in a nursing home. He criticized me constantly as long as I knew him, and I even bought my place from him after mom died. He has dementia now and fixed it to where no one would ever have POA over him. Well, he was wrong. He will die there.

Ever heard the story of the bear that picked up a hot stove, and howled and screamed because he was so enraged he wouldn't put it down.....sometimes people are like that....being treated nicely or not, is a choice.....being with a negative person or not, is a choice.....being abused or not, .....yeah you got it.....sounds like your dad was a real peach of a guy....probably raised back in the day when a kind word was a sign of weakness, making it tough on someone made them strong.....old school that most often was bull shit. Child hood hurts are a part of life, just like adult hurts. What we do with them is a choice....continue to hold on to them, and hollar and scream, ....or learn lessons from them and make the choices to protect ourselves and be happy. Good luck.

I don't think you're supposed to get over it but accept it as a part of who you are and all

I guess it depends on what you mean by "get over." I don't think about them as much, and different current situations trigger memories sometimes, but it doesn't affect my ability to function, or my thoughts, or my actions toward others.

I did.

EFT - emotional freedom technique/therapy - worked wonders (plz excuse the term) for me..!!

The first step is being aware of the conditioning - because that's what it is. We are all conditioned to whatever crazy our family has. As we grow older, we have to become aware of that conditioning and, in being attentive, not allow that conditioning to control us.

Once I learned that I couldn't "save mom" from her own lack of curiosity and thinly veiled abusive behavior via some younger woman with the same dysfunction, then I became free to find something new. That's when the real journey began for me.

You called homeboy on his shit and rejected it. It was painful, but you overcame. You beat it. You are free.

If only you were poly and local... eyes flutter and sigh

Our experiences always impact us. The question is how, and for many people that is sadly in a profoundly negative way.

Stuart is an idiot who lacks empathy and EQ. What he does is what he is, and his behavior, if he modifies it at all, will revert to the the mean. Dump him.

Good Riddance! It is very difficult to connect with peeps who push those "hurt" buttons. I don't think we ever get completely over the abuses of our childhood....or of life. We move on because we must, but there are times when bam i am right back into the hurt.

I had a dad who was smart, funny, occasionally affectionate, frequently angry, and could never be satisfied. I fear I have become him, and rail against it.

My ex wanted me to take her back, too . . . and enlisted the aid of my brother and his wife. Sounds like very similar circumstances. I'd also seen enough to know nothing had changed and the damage was irreparable. Pain shapes you and sometimes the best you can hope for is to not require the same shaping over and again.

These are the triggers/demons we all have. I'm not sure it will ever go away if you don't address them with a partner. Do you truly believe he wouldn't change that part of him to help you ?

Was just recently dumped for similar, imo. She didn't care enough to even discuss the triggered hurt even though most of what we shared was pretty damn good. Seems wasteful and stupid to me to ruin a good thing based on one issue. Guess it was bigger for her than me.

We will both be triggered again likely in the next relationship. Just hope it's with someone that can accept that my baggage is about me and not her, as hers is about her.

Love seems to mean accepting some of that. You wouldn't kick your child out for the same thing so if you'd do it another human it might not have been love. Seems to me anyway.