If this question went back 3 years, I'd have a whole lot to talk about. As far back as that I still considered myself a believing Christian. In the last year I've learned a lot about my sexuality. Though I have been with my wife for 20 years, married for 18, I have constantly struggled with absolute monogamy. I think I fit somewhere in the polyamorous range. When I've had thoughts I "shouldn't" or have slipped up, ocassionally, behavior-wise, I've been very hard on myself, feeling like a creep. Fortunately, my wife has de-converted too. We have talked about the implications of de-conversion on our sex life, but I don't think we've made much progress. It's hard for us to talk about it openly and honestly. I think she may be biologically monogamous. I have hoped that discussion would allow us to lighten up a bit in the bedroom. Some of her attitudes have broadened a little, but there is still a long way to go. I committed to her and made a promise and I will do my best to keep it and to provide a stable life for my son. I just hope that I don't always have to be as miserable as I have been at times and that my wife and I can figure out how we really feel about sex, independent of what the church drilled in to our brains during our formative years. Without destroying our marriage...

I think I've learned that all those things about me that I thought were real, aren't, and that I'm really good at hiding away from life. And I've learned that no matter where I go to hide, somehow I keep turning up.

That I am aging very fast, put it off for years, I was lucky, now I know the meaning of over the hill, you go down really fast once the descent begins.

I turned 80 and I am old as dirt but life is good.