I’ve had this happen to me several times and I get asked out by men that I know are married often. This is the oldest trick in the book. They’re not getting the attention they they want at home so they want to have thier cake and eat it too. I made a decision as to my worth. I am not going to be a man’s side piece. I deserve more and will get more. He will never leave his wife.

Any relationship that requires secrecy is inherently wrong.

I don't date married women. Okay, maybe it is different if it's an open relationship, but obviously that's not the case. I value integrity. I won't knowingly date a liar.

I never date married men. Come to think of it, l don't date single men either.

If you continue you're going to develop feelings, don't kid yourself, and then you'll have a mess on your hands.
Best case scenario is he's an overlapper but most won't leave their SOs due to the financial and social fallout. He would really have to be done and there's no way you can know that without getting up to your neck in it either way.
With all the parameters he set forth that you could leave anytime, that he waited until the middle of your date to tell you says to me he's done this before. Just my feeling. I would be pissed off.
It would be another thing if he told you up front and you continued on..that's your choice.

Tons of things to consider; are there kids involved?
His wife might flip if she finds out, that could go all sorts of ways.

I wish people who were unhappy in their situations would just leave instead of creating moral dilemmas for all concerned.

That said I've a girlfriend who full out hates her husband and been cheating on him for years. I know she doesn't want to leave for the financial angle. Her husband is a terrible father. To me it's awful that she stays... idk

If your guy doesn't leave his wife and you develop mad feelings for him you're in for a world of hurt.
It's like smoking, much easier not to go there than to quit later.

Your choice.

A common observation about similar scenarios is: If he is dishonest about you with his wife, it is also likely he will be dishonest with you.

The wife always finds out. To me this guy is a bottom feeder. If you were to get involved with him, what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you? To me it's not a matter of right or wrong per se. If he has to sneak around, then it would hurt her to know. I would not want to be the instrument of her pain. Besides, aren't you really too good to be kept a secret?

He lied to his wife when he said he'd be faithful. He lied to sneak out for your date. He's made it clear you will be his secret & he's made it clear he has no qualms about lying & cheating. Not only that, but he wants you to not only be ok with it but wants you to be an active & willing particpant in his lying & cheating.

If he had an open relationship & the wife knew & was ok with it, great. But he doesn't have that, she doesn't know & she would not approve.

So the real question is, will your integrity, personal ethics, morality, & self respect allow you to be a partner to his lying & cheating?

First date?

Cut loose and don't look back.

He's a complete user with no consideration of anything.

Well .. he's a liar. Why would you want to date a liar?

I guess it depends on what you want or like from a relationship. He says his wife will never know, so obviously he lies to her. Are you comfortable dating a man who cheats on, and lies to his wife? Can you respect someone like that?Will her feelings matter to you if she does find out, and she hurts and suffers for it? If they have children and they find out will you be ok with the damage it could cause them? He says that there is no pressure, and will respect any decision you make, and that you can end it at anytime. That tells me that he's not intending this to be anything more than a casual hookup however long it lasts, and that he has no intentions of developing any deep feelings for you. He can take you or leave you. He will find someone else if not you. No big deal. Are you ok not being special to this guy?

Simple .Put yourself in his wife's shoes,how would you feel ..plus a guy that would cheat on his wife unless they were separated is a bum in the first place. This question is more of a case of morality.

His wife may well find out or at least suspect he's cheating on her. Do you want to help him hurt her like that? Does he have kids? Cheaters don't seem to consider the impact marriage problems or divorce will have on their kids.

If he didn't mention this "minor fact" when he asked you out, he's even more of a creep.

In general I feel favorably toward polygamy and unfavorably toward lies and deceit.

Do you live in the same community with the man's wife? If so, it is likely that she will eventually figure out what is going on, and what she will do then is a guess. Does she own a gun?

Aviator Charles Lindbergh managed to keep 3 mistresses and seven children a secret during his lifetime. It helped a lot that those three women didn't live on the same continent as his wife. According to the children of the late Brigitte Hesshaimer who made their parentage public, their mother's face lit up whenever she talked about their father "You could see how happy and excited my mother was when she spoke about him," Mr Hesshaimer said. "I could see how intimate they were." [telegraph.co.uk]

It will all end with tears and you will be the one who cries the most because you know that this is wrong.

You probably don’t want my input. I don’t believe in morality. I would do whatever I want whether other people think it’s right or wrong.

You have to ask yourself if this situation makes sense to you. Is this something you really want to do? Does it benefit you now and in the future? If you have doubts then you probably already know what your decision ought to be.

I hate cheaters from the bottom of my heart. It would make me sick to my stomach to be with someone who was cheating on their spouse.

Do you want to date a liar? He will be lying to his wife every day. Do you want to date someone who breaks his promises? I could only imagine one situation that an arrangement like that might not be too bad, which is if the wife is on her death bed, but even then I would seriously think about it.

I've got a bit of a personal perspective on this issue.

My wife has a very low libido, and my eyes had been wandering a bit. I decided I needed to be honest with her, and told her how I was feeling. I told her that if I met someone else that I was attracted to, I'd probably go for it.

She was not ok with this at all, and immediately told me I needed to leave. This was 2 years ago. We are still technically married, and we are still on good terms, but we are not together.

If I had said nothing, things might have been different. I needed to be honest, but I can see why others would choose to lie about having their needs met elsewhere. Being miserable is no way to live.

Men looking for sex will LIE like rugs to get it!

I'm curious on why you would want to be with this guy over any other guy (who logically would be more available physically and mentally)?

It's an exercise in falling for a wall, on which you will slam your head repeatedly.

It all depends on what you feel you deserve. To be a secret ? To have only part of a person ?

Up to you ...

Secret relationships are the most exciting of all. Go for it.

Quite a few years ago I was on a hook-up site. I met this younger married woman with 6 kids. Her hubby had lost interest but her youngest was only 6 months old. As we talked I could not help but feel that it was wrong. Yes she needed to be wanted but I could not bring myself to be that guy. If things were different and a whole family did not depend on them staying together then I would have said okay its her choice but the sadness, nerves and guilt that she exuded was too overpowering.

Deception and heartbreak. To you, with you, at you.
And when she discovers what's going on (being a liar doesn't make you a good liar) When the family is broken and the children who never asked for this cry. When your tossed aside for the next sweet young thing. Will it have been worth it?