How well do you think you can get to know someone through online communication only?
I met my second husband online, and we didn't meet in person until we were together enough that he moved in. While he never intentionally misrepresented himself, there were still distinct differences between the impression I got online, and how he was in person. Granted, some of that was from missing a section of his online presence that I was not aware of, and he thought I knew about and had reviewed, but even had I reviewed that, I still wouldn't have picked up on everything.
Some of it was also rose-colored glasses of a new relationship, so I would likely have missed a chunk even had we interacted in person first.
At core, he is who I perceived him to be - and we are still good friends - but there were still substantial surface differences (animation, volume, more of various things that are moreso communicated from subconscious to subconscious).
I also briefly met another guy I'd met online who happened to be coming through my city, and offered to stop by for an afternoon. There were more significant differences there.
Have you ever met anyone you had gotten to know online, and gotten to know them in person also? How much of a difference was there?
I'm not saying this is a bad platform - it's a great way to meet people we otherwise probably wouldn't meet t all. I'm just expecting a bit more of a difference if I meet anyone from here offline than the amount of difference I was expecting before.
7
Enjoy being online again!
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33 comments (26 - 33)
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You can never know anything real about a person through any type of text, and not really by voice or video. All you can ever do online or on the phone is decide to meet. The "getting to know" starts when you are face-to-face.
The number of online fakes I've encountered is too long to list.
LukeJWalker
Level 4
Feb 4, 2018
1
My partner of the time and I once met our "soulmate friends" over the old snail mail ( through some same interest group thing) ...it's over 30 years in the past. We exchanged several letters and all thought : "Here we found our best friends EVER." Some month later we met, and the enthusiasm cooled to a more luke warm level. It's hard to even explain why. Or would take longer than I care to write about it. Real person different to the author of thoughts. But I did rekindle the friendship with the woman a few years back. And we are sort of soul mates.
ZebZaman
Level 6
Feb 4, 2018
1
I communicate much better through text. My words are more clear as I have more time to phrase things better (and no one can interrupt me via text, so at least I get the whole thing out even if people don't read it all), and I'm not so intimidated into saying things meant more to make people feel better than actually be helpful, or become so intimidated that I can't get things out at all.
I feel like a person can get to know me better more quickly online than in person. It could take years to chip through my shell enough in person to really see who I am, and even if someone knows me online, there is probably going to be a setback while I calm down enough to be myself again.
@ElizabethI I understand.
my last partner was the best woman I ever met and that was over the internet. pitty about her daughter.
LeighShelton
Level 8
Feb 4, 2018
1
Glad you found a really good one. No idea what you mean about her daughter. I'm new here and haven't heard.
I mean she's has gone because of her daughter
There’s always more to a person that you’ll discover. That’s part of the beauty of it. Just don’t misrepresent oneself in any format ( here, phone, whatever in future) and those who do, it will be evident. My relationship started online, met through mutual. But yeah, she did not misrepresent herself at all, I don’t think I did.
NothinnXpreVails
Level 8
Feb 4, 2018
1
Only met one online person before. He was pretty much what I expected.
Teslacoilsmith
Level 6
Feb 4, 2018
1
I need face to face... chemistry of the flesh needs flesh contact.
GipsyOfNewSpain
Level 9
Feb 4, 2018
1
Enjoy being online again!
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