So I helped my ex girlfriend pack her car and hooked my son up to her car seat, tears on my face. I know I’ll see my son later this week, as the spit custody agreement entails, but this marks the end of something I cherished. I never thought I would want a family of my own, like it was just some kind of fairy tale, until I thought I had it. Right after sending them off, I went to a therapy session, not realizing it was not this week, but his appointment never showed up, so I lucked out. Beyond losing half my sons time, I’m also worried that I might be a magnet for mentally disturbed women. I made my therapist laugh when I explained that women think men have impossible expectations of them, meanwhile I would be lucky if I found someone who’s a correct BMI and had no serious mental illness. I parked in my driveway, thinking of some ways people cope with stress poorly, and look next door to the church, and I think to myself, don’t turn to drugs. (Church is the drug) This apartment feels like a ghost to me....
Write letters to your son... to be open by him at a certain specific date and time. Not before and do not put them in the custody of the mother. write them, label them and sealed them waiting for the correct ocasion. I was the lucky one that grew up with a father in another country paying my school and always receiving gifts but it was never the gifts... it was the fact that me and him communicated via letters and in my house was never, ever said anything wrong about him. Even today resonates on me that as a young man every time I dressed like a bum, I could hear "your father never dressed like that. He was the best dressed man I ever seen." Now at my age I still try to be like him. Just understand that his mother may not be that truthful about you or play fair... so be ready.
I'm sorry for the major change in circumstances with your son. That has got to hurt a lot.
As for your concern about being a magnet for mentally disturbed women, I'll just take a wild guess and say probably yes, especially right now. When we don't have ourselves together well enough, we keep attracting and being attracted by others who also have things they need to work on - and not necessarily the same things we need to work on ourselves, but generally the things that most set off our own issues.
If you can, figure out basically what your issues are, and study everything you can to fix those - or figure out the issues the women you commonly end up with probably have or had, and learn how to spot those, and how to deal with people with those issues.
If your ex-girlfriend has issues, you might want to start with how to most healthfully deal with her issues, as it is healthier for your son if both of his parents can at least basically get along.
I'm skinny and crazy. Idk my BMI rn.
It’s easy to look up a rough estimate, no need to take a body comp test necessarily, just search BMI.
@Funandfondles Okay.
Hey man, I can feel your pain, I was there 25 years ago. Don't stress too much re the women, your son is the priority. He will always need his dad, other women will come along, both better and worse than your ex is my guess. Hope it works out well.
I’ll focus on rediscovering who I am with all this empty space. I’m not concerned about finding a new partner at the moment, just thinking ahead. I’ll continue going to the gym, and have some space to reconnect to old hobbies. I still have my cat, and he’s still an attention hog. Now I can keep my apartment clean without the way she hardly cleaned up after herself. I won’t miss her as a roommate, I’ll miss her because I got attached to her. My biggest issue with my son is that he’s not aware that he won’t see me the next few days, it would be easier if I could tell him we will be together again soon.